Black Relationships : Infedelity pt. 2 - Inspired by Reason

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by sexe1, Jun 17, 2002.

  1. sexe1

    sexe1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why is it that if a woman is caught cheating on a man, men feel that there is no hope for the woman and she is a "ho" and totally wrong....but if a man gets caught cheating that MAN would give 101 reasons why the woman should take him back?

    And then try and put a guilt trip on the woman as if SHE is wrong for not taking his cheating tail back!

    Ladies - let me hear from you.
     
  2. sexe1

    sexe1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brother Kemet, please by all means reply if you have something to say. I simply asked for the ladies to respond, but not to mean that the brothers could not respond also.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well now i'm no woman but it don't matter if he/she cheat
    it's wrong and foul now sure a man gives many reasons
    why and lie to a point but a woman she just don't care
    when she get caught up she say hell wit it and leave
    well their was no love anyway but a brutha he got morals
    it's just how a man play it out
    truefully speaking cheating for suckers ....................................
     
  4. startinover

    startinover Member MEMBER

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    we r supposed to forgive because we r supposed the be the stronger one....even though it is killing us inside.....but let us cheat...we have committed the ultimate sin!:confused:
     
  5. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Don't get 'hot and bothered'...

    I think that we're going to have to have a 101 course on the boards at sometime on who can post to what stuff.

    It's getting pretty sad on the webline when we have to 'specify' on posts and questions that it is 'limited' to one sex or another. And, I'm not above the law, either!

    Kem IS right on the money. The basic assumption is that it's the man's fault if his woman cheats, or if he cheats. Folk 'do' get set up! And, if spouses or folk in relationships would learn how to keep their mouths shut, their 'friends' wouldn't be willing to try our their 'man' or 'woman' to see if they are 'all that'.

    Remember, a lot of folk are not happy that a person MAY have a good marriage, or good relationship leading to marriage. They want to 'destroy' your 'good thing'.

    Women tend to blame THEIR man if he cheats, and BLAME their man if THEY cheat. They don't bother to think that that 'THUG' brother is a low-down rat. THEY quickly run to his arms because their MAN is true blue and upright. SOME sisters are STUPID enough NOT to get mad at the triflin heifer 'sistahfriend' who stole their man...rather, they get mad at the man, and KEEP the girlfriend as their best buddy.

    Hey Fam. Forgiveness is NOT an option. If you can, then do. If you can't, move on! Don't shed tears too long, cause a better person is waiting for you.

    Mike Ramey
     
  6. MzVette

    MzVette Member MEMBER

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    @ Kemetstry & Mike Ramey: I don't believe Sexe1 made this post exclusive to women. I dunno, maybe I'm missing something in what she typed, but it looks to me like she was encouraging the ladies to post their opinions.

    @ Mike Ramey: I believe you're way off with this one. I believe it's the other way around......some women whose men cheat are so quick to blame the "other woman," whether they know her or not. I think it's called "displaced anger." Some women will be ready to kill the other woman, and will only be pissed at their man. This behavior sometimes leads to some women being so afraid of being "rejected" or alone that they accept or put up with their mate's cheating, even when it happens again.

    Now, to answer the question: I believe that the male ego in some men prevents them from sorta "accepting" the fact that their woman has cheated. They probably feel it's much easier to cut her off completely than to have to be reminded that she got down with someone else. I also believe there is some truth to what Kemetstry said, in that, sex to women equals intimacy and not just sex. But that isn't always the case...some women can and do have sex just for the sex.

    I've never cheated while married, but I would have to say that some women cheat because they claim to be missing the love/affection/attention from their husband. I could be wrong, though.
     
  7. redlady

    redlady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it stems from a "control" thing. Men have put stipulations on women from day one in order to control them. A man can have sex with lots of women and be considered a stud. A woman who has sex with lots of men is considered a whore. Some countries go as far as to circumcise women at puberty so that they cannot enjoy sex ever in life..."control" it's your basic man's fear of women's strength and sexuality that makes them place their version of control over them. It's in everything, from how they view women, roles women are supposed to play and the punishments that vary from bad reputation to death, depending on what country a woman is from. Now if a man and a woman are married and the wife cheats...oh hell, she is supposed to be the ultimate ****, the foul no good female that should be run out of town on a rail. But if the husband cheats? Hey, forgive him, he's only a man...********. It's that old time control thing. I think that every man and/or woman should do what works for them, but keep in mind, don't do the crime if you can't take the punishment...and that means women...listen up, it's just the way things are...and if a woman is going to cheat on her man, she better be good at it and not get caught, cause if she does, hopefully it will be in a big metropolis where her reputation won't continue to meet her at the door.
     
  8. Renie

    Renie New Member MEMBER

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    Infidelity Part 2

    Quite frankly this is a message to my sisters about the double standard on cheating. First of all we can agree that it is a control issue but only by those who allow themselves to be controlled.
    Yes, men refer to us as whores if we cheat and they consider themselves studs if they cheat but quite frankly I don't think that the men are our biggest concern in this area. I think woman have a lot to do with adding fuel to the fire. By this I mean, ladies I have seen in many cases will, agree with a man that a woman is a whore and put her down. I think that both parties are wrong for cheating whether it be a man or woman but I also think what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If a woman cheats then other woman shouldn't be the ones to label her unless they are going to label him the same way.
    Just like if a woman has many males that she dates at one time and may not be intimate with any of them she is still looked upon negatively by both men and woman. When woman should realize men have done this for centuries.
    I think that women need to stop valuing mens opinions so much when it comes to them deciding who we are. That's what gives them the power to control us.
     
  9. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If a man cheats, most of the time the woman won't kick him to the curb. She doesn't want the "other woman or other women" to get him, so it turns into a "competition".
     
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