for Benita... recently/ it was brought to my attention that i/ just maybe/ haven’t really told you goodbye. that i/ sometimes speak of you/ as if you’re still alive… my sisterfriendconfidante/ sharer of all dreams/ self-appointed protector of me/ & my extrasacred things… that nobody knew about but you. we used to sing/ two-part harmony womansongs of growin’ old & gettin’ grown/ as we came into our own/ uniquely individual “queenthings” together. therefore/ it’s been somewhat difficult/ letting you go… initially/ i was angry/ stubbornly refusing/ to embrace the possibility that/ you could actually be taken away from me… (only 2 months before you’d turn 33). & for the longest time it seemed/ friendships just weren’t what they usta be/ life just wasn’t how it was ‘sposed to be/ since you were no longer around... but/ i have painfully come to realize/ been lovingly persuaded to internalize/ that you were never truly mine… to keep. & in the grand scheme of things/ everything is how it was planned to be/ from the very moment/ either one of us was conceived. in other words/ the predestined time of your departure/ was bigger than… both you & me. i’ve arrived at the point in my life/ for tossing bouquets & running thru rice. never once/ did i envision special times/ & in my mind/ see no you… by my side. it’s no longer my desire to question/ why you had to leave/ i am merely accepting. gently releasing. & although this earth will forever be/ devoid of your beautiful physical energy/ you will irreversibly abide with me… in cherished heartmade memories. your sweetsweet spirit will always be/ surrounding me in serene supplication… leading/guiding/comforting… until we meet again. i won’t lie & say/ that as the years go by/ i’ll never cry… for you. what i will say/ is that …on those sad&lonely days/ after the tears subside/ i’ll look towards heaven & anticipate the sun’s shine. & when it does… i’ll be reminded of your smile/ & the fact that/ all you ever wanted was for me to be happy. so/ ‘til next time/ give my daddy a kiss for me… & be… always(at)peace. © SunShyneOrygynals 2002, all rights reserved.