There is an aspect of our lives and our experiences in America that are socially and psychologically known as "The Comfort Zone". This zone is referred to by our beloved sister Iyanla Vanzant as being "In The Valley". She specifically lets us know that "when we are in the valley we see things and people as we want to see them instead of as they are.We can speak about it, speak around it, speak of it...but never speak to it". Another word for this is "Denial". Denial allows us to see a person who has been hacked open and is profusely bleeding...yet when we are asked about the wound by someone else, we'll simply describe it as a slight cut instead of what it really is.This reality is what makes a doctor come to the scene with band aids instead of the stitches that are actually required. It makes a person seek the advice of a friend or parent instead of a professional. If written about it would make the recorder of the event trivialize it instead of magnify it for what it is. It often reminds me of those of our people who quote great statistics and facts concerning the reality that we are falling as a people. They will mention the damage that we are doing to ourselves and the fact that we are falling...yet in their great dissertation they will somehow deny or skip over the fact that we aren't "just falling down the stairs, we were pushed". They will skip over the cause and effect of being pushed. They will skip over the pain physically, mentally and spiritually of being pushed. They will skip over the fact that no one ever healed us from the fall and in time if allowed, they will find every conceivable thing possible to blame ourselves for the fall instead of the person or people who pushed us. MANY OF OUR PEOPLE ARE LOCKED WITHIN THIS REALITY and if allowed to, would rather forget that we were in fact pushed down the steps instead of just falling down them. We will say; Hey, just get over it....that was back then....this is a new millennium....you can't harp on the past.......but our being "In The Valley" won't allow us to ask the ultimate question of; When were we ever healed of it? Since that question does not have an answer outside of the quote that time heals all things, which is not true if the memories of the fall are passed down from generation to generation, then the initial wounds from the fall are still bleeding. In ending I want to say that we must come out of the valley. We must learn from the valley because a valley can only exist between two mountains...but we can never climb the mountains on either side of us if we insist on denying that the valley exist. For in the words of Iyanla Vanzant; The valley is there to teach us a lesson and our failure to learn it will only extend our stay in the valley without ever climbing the mountains that on each side of us' in essence, if we acknowledge the mountains that are on both sides of us, then we have to acknowledge the valley also...because after all...a mountain can only exist where there is a valley and if we are looking up at the mountain then we must be in the valley below it.