Black Poetry : In Memory Of (Never 2 Love Again)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Legacy21, Feb 17, 2003.

  1. Legacy21

    Legacy21 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I remember the first time we met
    Your Starter cap pulled low over your eyes
    You grimming me
    Suspecting that I had less than good intentions
    Toward your best friend
    When you were the one that hooked us up
    But as time proceeded we became friends
    More than friends
    You and I became family
    Afternoons spent skipping school
    While we rolled blunts and played Street Fighter II
    At Oscar's Coney Island on 6 Mile
    Sharing chili fries and wing dings
    Sometimes 7 am would find us sipping Wild Irish Rose
    As I lay in your boys arms on the basement sofa
    You reclined those long legs on the other couch
    Arms wrapped around Lenni
    Bumping Makevali
    As we watched TV
    Sometimes you would pop in a porno
    Knowing **** well we weren't going to watch it
    But your *** had always been a freak
    I would smile and laugh as you and Kane would wrestle
    Trying to prove who was the strongest man
    I have to admit your scrawny 160, 6'1 stood your ground against my 6'5, 295 Black man
    Sometimes you would pick fights with me
    Knowing it got on my nerves
    But you always loved to get a rise out of me
    In the hallways at school you would scoop me upside down
    Hang me in the air while I screamed in delight
    Girls would be jealous when we would stroll down the hall
    Rocking the matching blue diamond cut lens glasses
    I would laugh because they did not understand our connection
    You were my brother, and I was proud to claim you as such
    Then dark days came when Kane was locked down
    Only you knew my tears and heartache
    Crying over the lost seed of your best friend
    As I quietly pined away for him dying
    But you wouldn't let me
    You told me to live
    And eventually I did
    Our connection fused deeper
    Endless nights of philosophical conversations
    Claiming I was too deep, but you savored the mental stimulation
    Midnight games of shadow basket ball on the Luger Park courts
    After smacking down KFC dinners on my birthday
    Long days spent politicking on your Mom's front porch
    And the summer I graduated and moved out to Highland Park
    You would come visit me, and I would have the Black & Milds and St. Ides waiting for you
    You wouldn't let me slip through the cracks of an abusive relationship
    So you came when I needed you
    Dropping more than dollars but real brotherly love
    In 98 when you graduated I brimmed over with pride
    Cried tears of mixed happiness and sadness
    When you left to go up North for college
    Accepted on a full scholarship for a Business degree
    Cuz I remember how much of a thug you were
    And you beat the odds
    I always believed in you
    Summer 98 found us in a new position
    Feelings began to deepen and I ran from them
    You denied them, but your eyes bled the truth
    I remember the night we stood outside in the rain
    Pretending those were not our tears
    Just rain
    Silent in our mutual heartache and pain
    It was almost funny the night of my 19th birthday when you got drunk at my party
    And I had to walk you home, and you tried to make love to me
    But I told you to get sober
    In the morning you would feel differently
    But the look in your eyes spoke deeply to me
    So I left you with my face burning
    Because then I wanted you, but could not say it
    I should have told you how much you meant to me
    Before quickly cussing you out
    Cutting my eyes at you when you made me mad
    Refusing to write when you left to go to school
    I was so lonely without you
    But I wanted you to go and make a man of yourself
    Achieve your dreams before you came back to me
    Hopefully with a nice girl that I would not sneer at
    Like I had the others
    So the letters, emails, Collegeclub chats, phone calls, and my express care packages to you kept flowing
    And the feelings between us kept growing
    Then one vacation when you returned
    I wrapped you in my arms
    Kissed you
    Caressed you
    Let you release
    Your seed into me when you were stressed
    I held you, rocked you, and drank with you
    When your Father died
    I was in love with you
    Had been slowly falling in all those years
    Then you told me of the request Kane made to you
    To take care of me, to love me
    He had given me to you
    For a moment I was not sure whether I should be hurt or offended
    But in the end I realized Kane's greatest and final parting gift to us
    Was one another
    You became everything
    Friend, brother, lover
    But now time and distance has caused the friendship to be strained
    New stresses, worries, and pains
    We have both changed
    You aren't the same anymore
    Neither am I
    But time foreclosed on us before we could talk about it
    Stole that last conversation from us
    When you rang my phone at midnight
    I should have been there
    I should have cared more
    I should have insisted on you staying with me
    Never leave me
    Always love me
    But God saw fit to say time was up
    That quickly between the last phone call
    And now you are gone
    Leaving me with tears for all that was
    Could have been
    Should have been
    I could hate you for loving me and leaving me
    I could hate myself for not sticking closer to you
    Not staying in touch more often
    Not telling you all that I felt for you
    I probably should have married you
    Bore you brown eyed children with your long, soot black lashes
    Named our first son after Kane
    Gave you daughters to become legacies
    Like their mother
    But now those dreams are faded
    Never to exist
    And the pain persists because I have yet to call your best friend
    And tell him that the gift he gave to me is gone
    That you are no longer living
    How much he loved you
    More deeply than any brother or friend
    You all were one in so many sacred ways
    And I was the eternal connection
    But now I have nothing
    Neither of you
    So now I pine for you both
    Now I am dying for you both
    Never to love ever again
     
  2. poeticdelight

    poeticdelight Member MEMBER

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    almost in tears

    beautiful work...

    keep capturing memories through your work

    peace

    pd

    :)
     
  3. Legacy21

    Legacy21 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks PD, sometimes it hard to pen these kind of memories, but remembering helps the healing process. Peace.
     
  4. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    yeah but at least you had a chance to know love
    ya feel me poet

    great life story

    DSS
     
  5. elayne.

    elayne. Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    legacy.


    i promised myself that the next time i got over
    here to reply to poetry... this would be one of
    the 1st peaces i hit. you told a wonderfully
    poignant story. i loved it!! thank you for sharing.

    alwayspeace,
    elayne.
     
  6. Reason

    Reason Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Legacy!!!

    This was so emotional!!! I felt it all sis... this is truely from the heart. Excellent!

    Reas
     
  7. Legacy21

    Legacy21 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the love Elayne, Reason, everyone
     
  8. MORE

    MORE Banned MEMBER

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    U'VE INSPIRED ME TO WRITE ABOUT MY LOST LOVE, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL...:heart:
     
  9. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    reading this beautiful peace of love, friendship, warmth, made me think how lucky you are to be so loved and how lucky they were to be so loved by you in return...do you cry every time you read it?..but feel better because you were able to express this in such a beautiful way...you should feel proud of this peace...it is a keepsake...

    K
     
  10. Legacy21

    Legacy21 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow, I am deeply honored by your responses. I never expected to receive so many comments on this piece, but your sympathy and sentiments are greatly appreciated. Thank you.
     
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