"What happened with the interview today?" I persisted. I've never been the one to give up easily. CuShado stood up and walked into the bathroom. "I said that I don't want to talk about it!" "Can you not walk away from me when I'm talking to you? I followed him into the bathroom. At this point, I could sense an argument coming on. Funny, cause we had never argued before, but I was irritated. Did he expect me not to care? "Look Kenyell, what do you want me to tell you? We both know what happened," he answered as he finally stopped to look me in the eyes. It was then that I realized that I couldn't walk a yard in shoes... a mile? Impossible! I didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything that I could do to change the way that America worked. It had been this way for years, continuisly breaking down black men until they have only two options left: to do whatever it takes to make ends meet or to be just another po' *****. "I hope that you don't expect me to come home and be enthusiastic everyday. This **** is hard," he interupted my thoughts. "Fine," I started "and I hope that you don't expect me not to care." Okay, I guess that wasn't really an arguement and I'm glad that it wasn't 'cause I sure was in the mood that night. Like usual, I didn't hestitate to make him aware of that. And I don't know if he was "in heat" too or if he was just venting his stress but he got the job done. Sent me right to sleep... I must have been glowing the next day at work because everyone seemed to notice my energy. I liked my new job. While I was still in school, CuShado and I had planned to move together. So I went to school everyday, maintained a 3.0 GPA and worked the graveyard shift at a local grocery store. As I got closer to graduating, I decided that I wanted to work in San Francisco. Vallejo was a nice city and it was apart of the bay area but everyone knows that the cash flows generously through Frisco. So... one week after gradutaion, I was off to Vallejo to start all over again. Regardless, all the ******** that I thought I had left in Sacramento, followed me to my new town. I got off work at six and took the half hour commute home to find a letter on the table. CuShado had went out with his boys for the evening and would be back by seven. That was fine with me because all of his boys were cool. I also got along great with his family, especially his mom. ****, I honestly got along with her better than I did with my own mother. I went into the bedroom to take off my work clothes and noticed that CuShado had left a blunt for me. I was smiling to myself at the fact that he was so thoughtful when my cell phone began to ring. "Hello," I answered. I had picked it up so quick that I didnt even check the caller ID. "What's up Killa K?" the voice on the other line replied. That's when I figured out who it was. LaRisha, my cousin, was another one of those haters that I had mentioned earlier. I was waiting for her to tell me what she wanted. "Well... you called me, what do you want?" I admit that I was a bit pushy but just hearing her voice irritated me. Plus, I could hear the blunt calling my name. LaRisha only called when she wanted something anyway. I thought that when I moved away, she would catch the hint that I didn't want to be bothered. "**** K, it's like that? You can't even talk to your girl?" "My girl? I'm only your friend when you need something." I was keeping it real. "Ah... that aint even right K. You just move away and think you're better than us 'cause you're on your own. I remember when you used to stay with me and my mom's. Don't forget where you came from." "LaRisha, I don't owe you a [email protected] thing! I worked hard to get where I'm at and I'm not about to support your @ss. Do me a favor and lose my number." I hung up. That was the perfect opportunity for me to blaze up the blunt and get some "get right." I know that smoking doesn't make me forget but it [email protected] sure eases irritation. Blunt blazing, candles burning, incense smoking; I began to write... Dear Journal, Everything was going fine today until my cousin called. I was on cloud nine. Naw, f!ck that, I was on cloud ten until LaRisha came at me with some ********. puff, puff... exhale I know she was calling me to ask for something. That trick aint worked a day in her life. When I was back home, I swear she knew everytime that I got paid 'cause every payday she would hit me up. Sometimes I didn't even trip though, if I had it I would give it to her. But then I realized that I can't support a grown @ss woman. puff, puff... exhale Then she pulled that "don't forget where you come from" ****. Just cause I go to college does not mean that I forgot my roots. F!ck that! I've worked hard to get where I am today. My parents didn't put me through school. I got the loans, scholarships and grants. I didn't have a car. I took the city bus to school. I walked through the hood everyday at night to get to work. I did for me! LaRisha can kiss my @ss. -Kenyell- puff, puff... exhale I closed my journal and decided to listen to my stereo. I put in one of the CD's that CuShado had mixed for me. As the romantic tunes blared from the speakers, my anger had simmered down enough for me to fall asleep.