Black Short Stories : In His Madness (Pt. 1)

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by epiphany, Dec 5, 2008.

  1. epiphany

    epiphany Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Pt. 1
    In His Madness​

    (The Story)


    The memories of their marriage magnified in his mind, enclosed in the four walls of their bedroom the silence was stifling. He tried to recall yesterday’s events; he didn't believe he said anything wrong. It was a fight just like all the others they had. Usually they ended with him getting his way. He had always enjoyed how easily he could manipulate her. He had dreamt of having a wife who was subservient to his will. He had grown up watching his Mother dominate his Father and he promised himself he would never be that weak. He despised his Father's lack of masculinity. Tho, he loved his domineering Mother, he hated that she reduced his Father to a meager excuse of a man. He couldn't hate his Mother so he turned that rage into a sadistic resentment for all women.

    When he met Shirl, her shy and innocent demeanor roused him.
    He was immediately drawn to her. She was small in stature, about five foot three, thinly built, normally he was not attracted to petite women, but her beauty made him overlook that and he made his move to ask her out.
    At first she was reluctant, she knew her Father wouldn't approve, he had always been strict with letting her go out with men. But she was nineteen now and old enough to make her own decisions so she agreed to go out with him. After a short courtship they decided to get married, it wasn't a big wedding; he wanted something small and ambiguous so only a few friends and family attended. Almost immediately he became possessive, he alienated her from her friends and family. Most of her decisions were made by him. When she tried to exert any freedom it was always met with physical abuse.
    One day, he beat her so bad she used foundation from her make up kit to hide the black and blue discolorations on her chest and arms. As time went on the beatings became more frequent and the lies she told to cover up his behavior became more elaborate. Shirl lived this way for fourteen years before she realized she had had enough.

    The day began just as any other day except with one exception, Shirl made her mind up to leave Charles for good; he had hit her for the last time. She called her sister Cordelia to meet her at Center Towne Mall.
    Shirl was able to keep the family from the truth about her and Charles because her family lived in the next county. She knew Cordelia had always had suspicions, but she always managed to convince her there were other reasons for not attending family functions and isolating herself from the close relationship she had once enjoyed with her siblings because Charles forbad her to see them. She also knew if her older brothers were to find out they would hurt Charles. She became a master at enabling Charles to continue his behavior by protecting him. After all, he was her husband and isn't a wife suppose to stand by her man? She loved Charles, even after he beat her. He was always so sorry afterwards. Showering her with gifts and her favorite orchid bouquet, he would get down on his knees begging her forgiveness. Each time she believed him....until the next beating.

    Charles sat at the end of the bed, he thought about the terrible things he said to her. As his mind rehashed that day.


    "You *****, you're not going anywhere! The football game is on this evening and I want you home with me!"
    The argument started when she wanted to go visit her Mother, she had been ill and she wanted to take her a bowl of soup. As she got dressed he continued his barrage of abusive verbal attacks.
    "Your Mother don't need any soup, I'm the one who needs to be taken care of. You always give your attention to everyone but me and I'm getting tired of it, *****!"
    Each time he called her ***** Shirl would cringe, she couldn't understand how a man who is suppose to love her could treat her this way. She continued to ignore him, but it only made his rage more intense. She would try to pacify him, sometimes it would work.....sometimes.

    "Charles, baby, I will be back long before the game is on, please let me do this and I will cook your favorite dish...wings and macaroni and cheeee...
    Before she could finish her sentence, his fist connected to her jaw with such force, her ears rang, she fell to the floor spitting out blood along with a molar. Her tongue soothe the hole the tooth left behind, she glared up at her husband.
    Covering her mouth the blood poured into her hand. She tried to get up off the floor, but his six foot two frame towered over her, raising his hand he came down again slapping her across the face.
    "I said, you're not going anywhere, ***** and that’s final!"
    Shirl look up into his eyes, she saw him like this before. He was filled with rage and his face twisted with a grimace of a man who would kill to maintain his control. She remained on the floor cowering like an injured dog submitting to its master. She knew not to challenge him when rage and violence possessed him like an evil alter ego, he was no longer in his skin. A dark emptiness was in his eyes peering.....daring her to say another word.
    He snatched her up off the floor, threw her on the bed and ripped her dressed from her body,
    As she lay naked and trembling, all her hopes of him changing was dashed at that moment. She knew he couldn't love her the way she deserved to be loved.

    She never really knew this monster she had been married to for fourteen years.
    Charles stared at her on the bed, blood flowing from her mouth, he wanted to pull her close and apologized, but he was too angry, how dare she challenge his words. He was the man of this house, the King of this castle. He grabbed his coat off the chair and left the house, he needed a couple of hours to cool his heels so he went to his usual spot down to Al's Bar, there he knew he could get Al to sympathized with him. Al also battered his wife. Whenever he fought with Shirl, Al would assure him he handled it the way a man should.
    Shirl slid to the edge of the bed pulling herself up she balanced herself putting most of her weight on the bedpost. Limping to the bathroom she looks at herself in the mirror, her face scarred with old wounds inflicted by years of abuse. She hardly recognize her features, her skin was no longer without blemishes. She lowered her head in shame and cried. How could she allow herself to be subjected to this treatment for so many years? Running water in the sink she drenched the washcloth in the warm water as she dabbed her face gently. Her face had swollen from the impact of the punch and she flinched as the pain permeated down her face into her neck. She wondered if she should go to the emergency room. But there would be too many questions that she wasn't prepared to answer. Right now she just wanted to get as far away from Charles as possible.
    This was the last straw she thought to herself, she got dressed gathered what she could carry in her suitcase. She walked towards the door and turned to take one last glance at the place she called home for over a decade, sadly she could only recall a few happy times. She wiped the tears from her eyes, walked to her car threw the suitcase in the backseat and hurried to the driver's side, she looked up and down the street hoping not to see Charles's car, relieved she got in her car and headed downtown to meet her sister.

    Shirl spotted Cordelia standing in front of the ice cream parlor, she smiled as she hugged her sister. The large sunglasses hid most of her face but Cordelia still manage to see the bruising on her cheek. She snatched off the glasses and glared in horror.
    "**** it, that bastard....I knew it!" She shouted in anger. Oh, he’s dead; I'm calling Bobby and David right now!"
    "No Cordy, wait....it doesn't matter any more,"
    Cordelia interrupted.
    "Buuullllllllllll ****!' Nobody hits on my little sister. Are you crazy? I'm not letting this go!"
    Cordy, I'm finished; I'm leaving Charles for good. I just want this nightmare to be over, a clean slate, no more ties. I never want to see or hear from him again."
    "Oh Babygirl." She pulled her sister close and hugged her. Shirl fell into her arms sobbing.
    "Shirl, how long has this been going on?"
    "A week, after the wedding."
    "Whaaaaat!? Why didn't you tell anyone, Shirl?"
    "I was ashamed, I didn't want anyone to know how stupid I had been and the mess I made with my life. I thought Charles was different. I thought somewhere in his heart he loved me and that he would change.
    Cordy, I was so wrong." She sobbed.
    Shirl, everyone makes mistakes, you should have told us, you shouldn't have suffered with this alone. You're safe now, no one will ever hurt you again...I promise."

    It had been three months since Shirl left, he tried to think of all the places she may have gone, her family wouldn't give him any information, he was convinced she still loved him, if only he could talk to her he knew he would be able to express his sorrow at the things he said to her. He kept playing over and over in his head that day, her face bloodied, the look in her eyes; he quickly shook the images from his thoughts. She would forgive him. Just as she did the last few hundred times he hit her..
    Each time the phone rang he jumped up hoping it would be her, his heart fell when the voice on the phone was not his wife.

    Charles paced the floor like a caged black panther, his mind playing tricks on him, he could no longer keep the calm demeanor of control he had fought so hard to hold on to. In his desperation to find his wife, his thoughts became more irrational. He was always able to predict Shirl's actions, but this was unlike her, he wondered if someone were advising her. Was she with another man? That thought enraged him. He thought...if she is with some mutha whewwwww, I'll...."
    His mind raced with images of her making love to some one else, meeting someone, being happy without him. He had to get out, he was going mad with jealously.

    He drove thru the neighborhood going to places he thought she might be, her employer hadn't seen her since she left home. He didn't know if she was dead or alive, he hadn't heard her voice since that morning they fought. No phone messages, none of her friends called the house. He drove around for what seemed like endless hours when he saw Robin's car, she was Shirl's best friend she would know where she is. He waited outside the grocery store until she emerged. As she opened her trunk to put the groceries in, he walked up behind her.
    "Robin!" Startled she turned around dropping the gallon of milk, it splattered all over his pants
    " ****!" He said angrily.
    "Charles, you scared the hell out of me. Let someone know when you come up on them like that. Now look what you've done."
    She reached into the trunk and pulled out a roll of paper towels and began to wipe his pants off.
    "Never mind that, Robin." He pushed her hand away. Have you seen Shirl?"
    "No, not since February." She lied.
    "You're her best friend, she didn't tell you anything?"
    "Tell me anything like what...Charles?" She tried to appear innocent.
    "About us, she left me without a word....I've been looking for her for three months now."
    "Why would she leave like that? What happened?" Robin inquired.
    "Nothing, its none of your **** business." Did you see her or not?"
    "I said no, Charles...Shirl and I haven't hung out in a while, she never had time, you always had her on lock dow...."

    She saw the displeasure in his face with what she was about to say, deciding against the sarcastic remark she started to spew forth.
    "What I mean is...you always have her doing something stupid for you."
    "What’s that suppose to mean?" He looked at her angrily.
    "Neva mind, It's not important......" Attempting to change the subject.
    "You need to concentrate on your own effed-up situation before you stick your nose in mine, Robin."
    She cut her eyes at Charles, she wasn't in the mood to argue with him, after all Greg was home and
    she needed to get home before he started burning up her cell phone.
    "I have to go, if I hear from her I will let you know." She got in her car and sped off.
    He watched as the car turned the corner and out of his field of vision.
    She's lying...he thought to himself it only made him angrier. He got in his car and went to where she played bingo, maybe someone there had seen her.

    It was nine in the evening, exhausted he decided to go home. As he got out of the car, he heard the phone ring...he hurried into the house and picked up the phone.
    It was too late, whomever it was hung up, he checked the answering machine hoping to hear Shirl's voice, but there was silence. He fell back into the chair falling into a deep sleep.
    Shirl was preparing dinner for her Sister and Mother, she had accomplished so much in the three months since she left Charles. She moved into her own place, it was a condo, she left her old job and started working with another real estate agency. She had sold homes for thirteen years and she never was able to buy one of her own. Charles always said it wasn't the right time, she hadn't realized that she gave up so much of her own goals to keep peace and to keep Charles happy.
    No more, for the first time she was going to do what made her happy. She was just getting ready to put on the roast when the phone rang, she answered.
    "Hey girl."
    " Hi Robin. How are you?"
    "Not all that good, I just ran into that crazy *** husband of yours coming out of the grocery store, he scared me so bad creeping up behind me like a seedy backstreet stalker, I dropped my milk on the ground."
    "Oh Robin, I'm so sorry...what did he say to you?"
    "He wanted to know had I seen you, I told him, no....he seemed very angry Shirl." She warned.
    "Have you called him since you left?"
    "No I haven't, I don't want to talk to him, Robin."
    "I understand, but don't you think you should tell him its over, you owe him that."
    "I don't know...maybe, I'll think about it."
    "Do you want me to give him a message?"
    'No, stay out of it, I'll handle Charles."
    "Ok girl, I will talk to you later."
    "Alright Robin, bye."

    She contemplated Robin's words. Should she call? They had been married a long time, maybe she did owe him an explanation, so he can move on with his life. Yes, she would call.
    The phone awakened Charles from his dream of he and Shirl getting married, she was a beautiful bride. just as he put the ring on her finger....
    'Hello."
    "Charles....." Her voice echoed on the other end.
    "Baby...oh baby, I'm so glad you called, where are you? I've been worried sick. Why did you leave like that?"
    His nonchalant attitude about that day angered her.
    "What do you mean why I left, Charles, you know why? She said reluctantly.
    She still feared his reply. His tone stiil caused her to tremble.
    "No Baby, you know I didn't mean it, I lost my head...I'll never do it again, baby...please come home."
    There he goes; it was like a broken record. She had heard it so many times; she could repeat every line word for word.
    "Not this time, Charles....I've had enough, you've put your hands on me for the last time.....we're through."
    "No, baby you don't mean it....come on, I have your favorite orchids in a vase on the table. Come home, we can work this out."
    "I'm serious, Charles...I'm filing for divorce, I've already drawn up the paper work."
    "What! You with another *****...*****? He yelled.
    There's the raging monster, she was use to......
    "Of course not! I don't love you anymore...it’s just that simple. It's time for us to go our separate ways. I want to be happy and I can't be happy married to you."

    She trembled as she confessed her feelings.
    "*****.....you **** *****, it'll never be over as long as you're breathing! Whose gonna want your sorry ***, you're skinny....and ugly as hell! I'm the only one who takes care of you! You ain't **** without me!"
    "You say what you want, Charles....Read my lips...I...am....through...with...you!"
    Shirl emphasized each word so he would be clear of the her seriousness.
    His words cut like a knife, she couldn't listen anymore she hung up the phone as he continued to hurl verbal insults and threats.
    She looked at her hands, they were shaking...he always knew what to say to scare her into submission. But in her heart she was convinced leaving him is for the best, he would get the divorce papers and it would be over. Right now she had to get her mind on something more positive. She would go take a shower to get ready for her company.

    Charles sat in the chair seething, his mind began to spiral into the dark regions of his psyche, he contemplated.....
    Is she gone?...She’s gone, no she loves me...its not over! He couldn't imagine living without her, he loved her. She was the first woman he ever loved. He wouldn't......he couldn't let her go. He would make it up to her. She’s just angry; she doesn't know what she’s saying. He'll make her understand that for him there is no one else....yes, she loves me. He convinced himself.
    He couldn't think straight, he went into the kitchen, opened the cupboard and pulled out a fifth of E & J, right now he would drown his sorrows in an alcoholic oblivion, he didn't want to feel anything.
    He just wanted his woman back.
    After a few hours the alcohol had induced the desired affect which only exasperated his already distorted mentality. It was two in the morning, he had no friends he could confide in.
    He couldn't call AL, he'd call him a fool telling him he dropped the ball and lost control of his household. ......he was alone. The quiet of the house never felt so amplified, he imagined sights and sounds that contributed to his madness, He thought of ways to get Shirl back. Her words rang over and over in his mind....
    "I'm filing for divorce...."
    "I can't be happy......can't be happy married to you...."
    "I can't be happy married to you...."
    He didn't believe her, they were happy...sure she made him angry sometimes but they always made up afterwards. He didn't see the conflict in their relationship.
    He made up scenarios in his mind to excuse each beating he subjected her to. He convince himself they were in love and as the preacher said....
    "Let no man put asunder."
    "Yes," He thought to himself.
    He recalled their wedding day and the words the minister spoke:
    "For better or for worse."
    "For richer or for poorer."
    "In sickness and in health."
    "Til death do you part"
    "Til death do you part."
    "Til death do you part."

    Those words resounded in his consciousness....
    They could be happy, she would love me forever, maybe in this life.....there were too many distractions, if there is an afterlife he could have another chance. Another chance to make things right, to make her happy.
    God will forgive him, after all he always had faith, his Mother told him before she died....
    "Charles when you pray all things are possible."
    He fell to his knees sobbing, with his hands together he prayed.
    "God, please.........please, pleeeeeeease! I will do anything if you bring us back together...we belong together. I can't live without her! I can't live without her! I can't live without her!"
    As he spiraled out of control, his thoughts became more demented.
    I.....I...I won't live without her!
    He convinced himself she still loved him, like a light bulb the thought went off in his head.
    "If I can't have her, no one will...she won't live happily ever after without me" He said aloud.
    He stood up and wiped his face, his mind was content....he made up his mind to kill her; he would kill her and then himself. Perhaps in the next life, they would be happy.




    epiphany:heart:
     
  2. sarcasm4eva

    sarcasm4eva Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    first off, let me give u a round of applause for this story. sadly this is reality for a lot of women these days. Shirl had enough sense to wake up n get out, it doesnt end so well for most women.let's see if she stays alive. u displayed the mentality of an abuser so well.again good job. on to pt. 2
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    all Naw !!! .....this was on hit and sadly so often this display is so real
    I hope she really come out in good health from his madness and wild thoughts

    Headed into pt.2 wow
     
  4. epiphany

    epiphany Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sarcasm,

    Thank you for the applause. You are correct it is a reality for
    so, so many. Many gather the strength to leave, but so many
    others live out their life in this tragedy and never escape.....and
    that's tragic.

    I had an aunt who died never knowing what it was like to be
    treated gentle, loving and with respect by a man.

    I've seen this mentality time and time again, one abuser isn't much
    different then the other. The same tactics are used to maintain
    their control....I know because I've seen it close up, with others
    very close to me.

    ********

    $Rich$

    .....we'll see....we'll see~smile.


    Thanx Sarcasm & $Rich$..:grouphug:

    epiphany:heart:
     
  5. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    POWERFUL...

    Unfortunately, too many people—men and women—live this life, daily…justifying their mate’s actions to their friends and acquaintances, as well as to themselves. Low self-esteem tells them that they can’t do any better. And, they start to listen to their mate when he/she tell them that no one else will have them…that they will live their life, lonely and alone. PLUS, it illustrates a pervasive element in today’s society…the inability to let go…to move on. I’ve seen so many relationships, where men have been unwilling/reluctant in letting go of past relationships. They want to hold on…to try to work out something that can’t be fixed. And they convince themselves that GOD wants them to be together.

    Moving on to part 2.
     
  6. epiphany

    epiphany Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Baller,

    Now that's the thing that baffles the mind for me, I know there can be many reasons why a person refuses to let go...fear of being lonely, unresolved issues of abandonment....just to name a few..

    It does seem to be so much more prevalent today than it has been in the past. I know here in North Carolina there was a case recently where a man had been separated from his wife for ten years.
    She thinking he had moved on....because she did, had a man and her ex-husband came UP in her house shot her in the chest...shot her man...killed them both. They can hold out for years seething with revenge and hate for that woman because she left him and just wait for the opportunity to get to her.

    I really don't understand that....mentality of not letting go.

    If someone doesn't want you anymore...why would you want them?


    epiphany:heart:
     
  7. lovealexandria

    lovealexandria Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I loved how you realy got into the mind of the abuser. I think it is important to think about the psycology of needing to be in control and the psycology of needing to be free. I thought you portrayed that very well.
     
  8. epiphany

    epiphany Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :thanks:...Lovealexandria,

    I agree...it would be an interesting probe into their psyche,
    to find out if the abusers had similar backgrounds, if a domineering
    Mother or a passive Father, played a part in their mentality.

    .....I would like to know.

    Appreciate you reading and responding...

    epiphany:heart:
     
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