Black Relationships : In a Relationship....... Who Should Be the Pursuer

[Kemetstry]

I guess my view is that if a man really wants a woman, he will do whatever it takes to be with her.

This statement is why so many females end up alone. Romance is a two way street. Thus it isnt about a particular gender. If you are willing to give him just effort to keeping him around, eventually he will stray. Read the book of Ruth

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[Kemetstry]

Who should be the pursuer, the man or the woman? I had this discussion with 3 coworkers who are women and we are all in agreement, the man should pursue, the man has to show the woman that he wants to be married to her and he wants the relationship as much as she does. The roles in our society dictate that a man buy the ring, the man does the proposing and the woman either accepts or rejects the proposal. One woman I know was pursuing a man (her ex) who was 10 years older than her for 3 years. She finally met another man who was pursuing her and after dating him for a year, she married him and has been happily married for 2 years. One of my coworker's boyfriend is pursuing her and they will be married in a year. Now there are some successful cases where the woman proposed to the man and the man accepted and they ended up married happily ever after. So is it better to follow traditional roles and let the man pursue or is it better to do what works for each individual?

The traditional roles you speak of have never been all that traditional. Romance has always been mutual. 1st, both parties had a mutual attraction. Without that initial spark/acceptance/chemistry, nothing happens worthwile. Contact isnt initiated unless you have given me some sign it's ok for me to come over. I persue, but you must give me a reason to stay. Thus, it is mutual

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[rapunzal24]

This statement is why so many females end up alone. Romance is a two way street. Thus it isnt about a particular gender. If you are willing to give him just effort to keeping him around, eventually he will stray. Read the book of Ruth

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I read the book of Ruth, and it is a two way street, but I guarantee Ruth never said a word to that man unless he asked her something. Women end up alone for the same reasons men end up alone. It ain't got nothing to do with this.

 

[Kemetstry]

I read the book of Ruth, and it is a two way street, but I guarantee Ruth never said a word to that man unless he asked her something. Women end up alone for the same reasons men end up alone. It ain't got nothing to do with this.

Her spending the night in the field with Boaz said it all. She didnt have to speak a word.

The facts are, females today will never marry ( 40% ) and 70% will end up alone. As long as so many continue to think romance isnt mutual, these numbers wont change

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[rapunzal24]

Her spending the night in the field with Boaz said it all. She didnt have to speak a word.

The facts are, females today will never marry ( 40% ) and 70% will end up alone. As long as so many continue to think romance isnt mutual, these numbers wont change

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What do you think they did when they spent the night in the field, and please give me a scripture to look that up with, I could google it but it is easier to ask, lol! I read that story a minute ago, so you could be right, or maybe your interpretation is different from mine. Let me know.