never mind the post........ill see this to the end....thanks.....no im no mormon.......
Which post am I to "disregard?"....the first one or the one you wouldn't tell me what you "KNOW?"
Either way, from the things you've said, it is highly unhealthy to have such a mindset....to be willing to do anything, stand any "test,"...play any "game" or even BUY this woman (if you could) just to have her.
She's the "PRIZE" and you got your eyes and heart set on the "prize."
If all of this you said is TRUE, I strongly advise you to speak with the spiritual leader of your church or even another church if you don't feel comfortable speaking to your pastor.
....I'm gonna share 2 experiences with you from my own life and I hope they help you in some way.....
1. Back in my younger days when I was clubbin' and partying, one of my cousins had another cousin (no relation to me) who had a big crush on me....He was a few years older than I and he was a BIG guy, heavy/over-weight.---No, he wasn't my type. I wasn't attracted to him; but he was a nice guy. So, I was always cordial and friendly to him; but he took my "nice-ness" for LIKING HIM.....because of his size, he'd never really had a "girlfriend."---And he wanted me for "ARM CANDY." ---He wanted to show the other fellas that he could "pull" a girl like me. (not to toot my own horn..but I wuz "FOINE" back in tha day.) lol (and still got it goin' on)
He was JEALOUS of any guy I spoke to or danced with.
He wanted to POSSESS me.
His LOW SELF ESTEEM prompted him/guided him to HAVE me.
And that behavior totally turned me OFF about him even as a friend/associate.---- I spoke to our in-common cousin about him. That cousin "PEEPED" what the other cousin was doing when we went out, spoke to him about it; and eventually the guy left me alone.
2. Another guy tried to "BUY" me.....no matter what I liked or wanted or if he THOUGHT I liked or wanted something, he was gonna BUY it for me......He was trying to BUY my affection.
This behavior totally turned me OFF; and I told him so.....I told him that he shouldn't do that at all....that another woman wouldn't be as nice as me....wouldn't have the conscience I have and would TAKE HIM "hard and fast." ----- I tried to be as gentle as I could but I still left him alone.
His LOW SELF ESTEEM is what prompted him/guided him to try to "BUY" my attention and affection.