Black Relationships : I'M IN L0VE WITH MY BESTFRIEND...WHAT D0 I D0

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Peachislove, Jan 10, 2009.

  1. Peachislove

    Peachislove Member MEMBER

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    YES...I'M IN L0VE WITH MY BEST FRIEND. WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR 11YEARS AND WE B0TH KN0W EVERYTHING ABOUT EACHOTHER. THE ONLY PR0BLEM IS I'VE BEEN IN A RELATI0NSHIP F0R 4YEARS WITH S0ME0NE HE KN0WS AND WENT T0 HIGH SCH00L WITH. 2 DAYS AG0 WE CAME S0 CL0SE T0 MAKING L0VE....BUT I ST0PPED IT. IDK IF I MADE THE RIGHT DECISI0N...WHAT D0 I D0???
     
  2. free2b_me

    free2b_me Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I YOU AND YOUR FRIEND SHOULD FIRST TALK ABOUT ANY POSSIBILITIES OF WHAT MIGHT BE AFTER THE AFTER GLOW! (SMILE) BECAUSE, HE MAY HAVE BEEN HOLDIN ON ALL THIS TIME FOR THAT ONE CRACK IN THE ARMOUR. I KNOW MOST MEN WILL ADMIT, THAT BEING FRIENDS WITH A WOMAN IS JUST WAITIN FOR THEIR TURN. NOT IN A BAD WAY, BUT THEY HAVE ACCEPTED THAT THEY WERE PUT IN THE FRIENDSHIP BOX. IF YOU AND YOUR FRIEND BOTH SAT DOWN, AND DECIDED TO MAKE A GO AT IT, IT WOULD BE GREAT. IF YOU ALL ARE JUST IN IT FOR THE HOT QUICK FIX, AND NOT REALLY WANTING A RELATIONSHIP AFTERWARDS, THEN, YOU ARE RIGHT, LEAVE THAT ISH ON ICE! FORREAL! DON'T WANNA MESS UP A GOOD FRIENDSHIP.... MY MAN AND I WERE FRIENDS FIRST FOR APPROX 2YRS. I NEVER SAW HIM ANY OTHER WAY. ONE DAY, SOMETHING JUST KNOCKED ME RIGHT UP SIDE MY HEAD, AND, BAM!!! IT'S BEEN 4 YRS, AND THE FRIENDSHIP, DID HELP US IN BEING PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING WHEN THINGS GOT ROUGH. WE ALWAYS, GO BACK TO THE FRIENDSHIP, WHEN THE LOVE PART GETS CLOUDY. THAT IS WHEN YOU KNOW, THAT YOU ARE TRULY FRIENDS FIRST. I JUST LOVE HIM, EVEN WHEN HE GETS ON MY LAST NERVE! YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO DRAW FROM ANOTHER SOURCE, WHEN YOU CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT.. SO, MY QUESTION TO YOU IS, IS THIS SOMEONE, YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF GROWING WITH, BUILDING A FUTURE WITH??? KNOWING ALL THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM, IS HE A GOOD GUY, SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN TRULY LOVE AND UNDERSTAND? YOU HAVE AN ADVANTAGE RIGHT NOW. BUT IF IT IS A ONE NIGHTER, DON'T DO IT!!!:hearthis:
     
  3. Ionlyspeaktruth

    Ionlyspeaktruth Banned

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    Sometimes

    :uhh::uhh:There are alost NO words that have to be said. But here are a couple... DANGER! NO DON'T DO IT!!
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Dear Friendship & lover :

    First, how do your friend feel about it all ,and or do they know how you feel about them?

    Friends can be closer then close but yet not cross the line for in many cases the friendship
    will lose it's value when mix emotions become the target point , yes you did the right
    thing by stoping it , you saved a beautiful friendship here ..

    while one may know of your past relationship don't mean a fresh start with that person
    have to be a down fall unless these are very close friends then you crossing a line
    of friendship that can hurt the other

    While it's true you have to become friends before lovers , with 11 years here and if
    these feelings you have is deep and from the heart then tell your friend how you feel
    but first kinda see where they at before you do , it could run off a friend or even you
    be taken advantage of , surely you two should know each other well enough to know

    Is your friend with someone else right now or single ?
    if one is with someone then withstand your feelings and back off surely you will kill a friendship.
    If not and they open then go head express your concerns to them , it might be the best move
    and time you two become lovers pass friendship.

    I have a Lady friend we been close for nearly 22 years and yes i often wanted her for
    myself but we build such a deep friendship that i knew we could never be to a point and
    i valued our friendship too much we do all kind of things together and we never crossed
    the line to become lovers or just some heat of passion fun ,but when you fall in love
    from the heart beyond lust or emotions then options do weight in here

    1 . You can continue to be just best friends

    2 . Let the friendship go because of your heart and what you feel

    3 . Let that person know and see where it goes / in hope of a relationship
    but if that person rejects then it will leave you hurt or and even bitter which
    can kill a friendship

    Good luck and i hope it truely work out for you and you get what your heart is calling for .
     
  5. Peachislove

    Peachislove Member MEMBER

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    After the little incident happened, the next day we both tried to act like it never happened. But we when both were alone I just stopped and asked "WHAT WAS THAT" I didn't wanna assume anything. He just said "I don't know" he seemed as if he was shy to talk about it. Then he opened up. Telling me he cares about be a lot, he just can't believe that this really almost happened between us. My emotions at the moment are mixed because I feel like maybe we are made for eachother but......I don't wanna lose my friend.
     
  6. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Daaaaaag Free, that was very good advice.


    Astrologer4U
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Lil sis.....ask him how he really feel about you or just ask in a way to see if he
    have any deep intrest in you as far as a relationship goes ....if so then follow your heart
    if he wish to remain friend then let it go and never reveal your deep side and continue
    a beautiful friendship !
    don't get too caught up in your emotions they can lead you on a twisted road sometime.
     
  8. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :donttell::garbage:



    Do you know thw difference between love and lust?

    By almost, you realize that the cat is out of the bag right?

    You are going to have to talk about it one way or the other

    I think you should realize what you could lose if this doesnt work















     
  9. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    This is quite unique for me to say the least. I for one have never a single day in my life had a relationship with a woman who was with anyone that I went to school with or that I knew or she knew. I can't in my right mind imagine what it would be like for some guy that I knew to tell me "how banging my woman's coochie is or what they did together". I can not imagine a brother asking me or looking at me like; "did she hit you off like she hit me off?"

    Something about that don't sit right with me. Even now, if for some reason my wife and I should divorce or whatever, there is simply no way I could hook up with someone that I know we both know. Think about that for a few.

    In my previous relationship my mother in law had a best friend...but she knew her best friend wasn't shiiiit. Her best friend had a good man and my ex mother in law knew that her best friend wasn't going to do nothing but ruin that man. Well, needles to say, she stole her best friends man away from her. However, in doing so she also took him and moved out of the city that they were living in. Ever since then she has been with this man for over 22 years before they ever got married. They are still together. The point is that, when you decide to make moves like that, know what you're doing, your intent and where you plan to take it once you got it if that's what you want to do.
     
  10. Ionlyspeaktruth

    Ionlyspeaktruth Banned

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    That is



    Just the way I see it. There is NO WAY I could even think about something like that. None of us are virgins, but I dont exactly wanna have a dinner party where I have knocked off some of the guests and my wife/woman has too! Its like if a friend of mine has a woman/wife and they get divorced... I dont care if its 20 years later she is like a friend and NO MORE! I think this cab be summed up like this... This is one of those things that while I dont know how it would end up. I dont really have any "happily ever afters" linked to it.
     
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