You might not understand my reasonings as to why I am leaving. But I don't feel welcome here, every time I seem to post a thread or post i feel as though my race comes into the picture ( in other peoples minds) and becomes a huge issue, invalidating every point i make or every view I hold, rather than the content of my character being assessed (which is how I thought others should be judged, but apparently I was proven wrong on Destee.) And, I am sorry, but apparently I can't....exist in an environment which is so subtlety hostile. Every time I come here, it feels as though a bit of my self-esteem has been damaged. The last time I was here, I began to actually hate myself because I was white. This has never occurred to me before, this feeling of hating my skin color, but it happened to me while posting on Destee. It gave me a feeling of helplessness and a sense of emptiness because it was not anything I could do something about. I think the sense of helplessness came from feeling as though there wasn't any viewpoint I could hold that would alleviate the subtle hostility I felt being directed against me. It was just there, implacable, a brick wall. It doesn't create a very conducive conversing environment and doesn't lend to making me feel as though there is as place for me on here. I'm tired of defending myself at every turn and feeling as though I am being put through the wringer to try to ascertain my intentions. Many times comments are aimed at me that are very subtlety snarky, and are so numerous in number that it seems as though it is ingrained into the very forum itself and I have thus concluded that i will not bother to try to change it since it is so engrained. I came here wanting to learn more about black culture and history, to expunge any lingering racism I might hold within myself due to being brought up in a mostly white environment, but am leaving feeling a lot of negative feelings from my experiences here. I have seen other people with small amounts of african blood in them treated the same way I have been treated. Even though you have the rule that people can't not be made to feel welcome, I think you will have a very hard time enforcing it due to the subtlenesses of some of the ways the members here make others feel unwelcome. I will not bother to try to wonder if it is something I have done wrong, because I have wondered if I have been doing things wrong every time I post on Destee, and I'm ...done with trying to figure out what I have done or thought or said wrong. Thank you for all of those who have been nice to me.