My insides are really suffering from all of the smoke and alcohol and fatty food. But do I care, sometimes. See all of this smoke is close to my heart, literally. You know everyone has their drug of choice, especially during a depressing time. And you know we all have our demonds. See I'm single but I'm still getting ****** all kind of ways and I don't even have a man. Cigarettes and weed are my pimps, them ******* get all of my money. Alcohol is my truth serum, maybe that is why I try to avoid it the most. That way I wont have to be true to myself. And fatty food is my husband. Even when I'm broke it sticks by me and when I'm depressed it fills me up. You would think that food is stalking me. As soon as I get **** together and finally get rid of that **** and say I'm through, that **** comes back ten times better than before. So what do I do? I'm afraid to be alone. Or maybe I'm dying inside. I feel like life is slowly leaving me. By the time I catch up with life it will be gone. Hopefully I'll get it right next lifetime.