Black People : IGNORE feature - WHY DON'T YOU USE IT!

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by medusanegrita, May 15, 2010.

  1. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Check this out peeps.....

    I done pissed somebody off. Apparently they were angry at me from another thread. I knew that and I made my amends and put them on 'ignore' so I wouldn't have to respond to any more angry messages and continue a downhill argument. I thought it blew over so I took them off of ignore, and responded to one of their posts. Nothing hostile, nothing angry, just sharing my opinions about the subject at hand.

    They blew up. They brought that anger from some other thread on something else I said and brought it to the thread that had nothing do with whatever they were angry about.

    They never did put me on ignore, and they had been responding to my posts, but I could only read it when someone quoted it. I never responded to their posts directly while I had them on ignore.

    What I don't understand is.... if you are angry at me and you know this... why do you continue to read me... or anyone you have a problem with? That is why there is an IGNORE button... so you don't have to read or respond to the person you don't like, or have a problem with or issue with. That means no interaction, no altercation, no argument, no discussion, no debate, you leave each other alone.

    But it seems some folks are just way to interesting to be put on ignore... or folks want you to respond to them so they can blow up at you.... or they like to fight and argue.... or something. I just don't get it.

    USE YOUR IGNORE BUTTON AS OFTEN AND ON AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN... PLEASE!

    This happens in real life too. Have ever know a person who didn't like you, and you think 'I know they don't like me, why don't they just leave me alone then' but they continue to talk to you, talk about you, and irritate the heck out of you on purpose?

    They say misery loves company... but my misery doesn't like company. My misery loves solitude, silence, and likes to be alone. If I'm miserable - go away and let me be. I ain't trying to bring you down to my miserable level nor do I want to drowned in yours.

    I use to never use an ignore button... and got into so many poisonous disputes. Now I learned my lesson. If you have a problem with me, and I can't resolve it to the best of my ability or I feel you that type of person that is just.... unreachable like that..... you will be placed on ignore with the quickness.... and I would only hope and pray that you do the same.

    So what's the deal... why don't more people use their ignore button? Why don't you use it? How do you try to resolve a dispute on here before you get banned because of it? Do you have anybody on ignore now? Do you use it? How do you determine when to put someone on ignore, or do you basically just put anybody on ignore when they bother directly or indirectly?

    Some people really need to make more liberal use of this feature. It's good.
    So far I got 2 people on it.
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    the reason is

    the ignore feature is only available to premium members.......
     
  3. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ms. Destee.. I appeal to you to greatly consider allowing the 'Ignore' feature to be available to all members.

    Some members are not capable of engaging in a fair and proper debate with people they have issues with, issues that have arose in another thread and remained unresolved from that thread. They also don't know how to NOT respond to people they are angry at or have issues with - and they bring that anger and animosity over to other threads that have NOTHING to do with the original thread where the problem arose.

    Having this feature available to all members could cut down on some chaos.

    Maybe I should have posted this in the premium forum... but I keep forgetting it's there.

    But it may be something you want to consider or reconsider.

    Thanks.
     
  4. Chinelo

    Chinelo Third Eye Is Always Open MEMBER

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    Why PRESS something to IGNORE IGNORANCE, i just don't engage ignorant people nor their trollish messages and threads, i either show them the mirror, if they don't look, allow them to wallow in pathetic foolishness.....such as your fascination and advocation for mixing that you spread all over this wonderful forum, and the white troll that started a thread about "blackness being defunct".....see some of you are just to blind, but its cool you still a sister, which is why i keep you as a friend, because you're not the enemy, just being used by them, we'll get you turned around!

    :whip:
     
  5. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks, but you insult me. Really, you do. I have nothing further to say to you.

    Thee is no reason to keep me as a friend just because I am a sista.

    Take a lesson from Brotha Omo 'you may be my brotha but that doesn't make you my comrade.'
    I may be your 'sista' but if you're gonna spread lies or exaggerate to such an extent as to create a divide between us and hurt my character or me, then what's the use of so-called friendship? Have you ever heard that sometimes you hold up a mirror to someone else and it is yourself that is reflected back? If someone pisses you off to such a degree, then it may be something reflective in you or your nature?

    I suggest you get a scrying mirror.

    I love you Chinelo, but it ain't workin out. I gotta let you go.

    You're on my ignore list.

    Smootches.
     
  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :10500: um, soon you won't have anyone to talk to.......
     
  7. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My imaginary friends are always there just in case real live actual people become to much to deal with. I'm good.
     
  8. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Question....


    when I am no longer a prem member, are the people I have on ignore gonna stay there?
     
  9. CITIZEN

    CITIZEN Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Medusa,

    I am truly sorry that this has happened to you. I don't know the exact details of the issue(s), but it can be like tip-toeing in a mine field sometimes online.

    Personally I have accepted that everyone here will not share my views. There comes a point in "discussion" that I realize I have said all I can say. There are some issues that no matter how elegant I type, the other person/people are not going to see my way. Bro James once said that sometimes you just have to disengage from the argument, or in simpler terms, just let it go.

    I know what it feels like to be attacked, misunderstood, and a thousand other things. What happened to you doesn't sound fair at all.

    I don't want to preach to you, I just hope I made you feel better. I sense hurt and anger, although I am not sure of how to tell you that you are valued and respected. I hope I helped in some way.
     
  10. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister MedusaNegrita ... peace and blessings ... :love:

    lol @ you got 2 on ignore already ... :lol:

    As Brother James said, it is one of the [ame="http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26882"]Benefits of Premium Membership[/ame], and I will consider your suggestion.

    I suppose it could prevent some carrying on, but even with you using yours as you've described, seeing the person's responses in other people's quotes, deciding to turn it off and test the waters, only to find nothing has changed ... and as a result of all of that ... you've created this thread fussing a little bit about folk who do and/or say things that push your buttons ... and you have access to the ignore feature. Based on all of this, it doesn't seem to solve the problem, totally and completely.

    Yes, it's a good feature, but somewhat of a crutch I think, as if we need a button pushed, to help us control our own selves.

    As you said, we run into folk all the time that rub us wrong, aggravate us, etc., and there is no ignore button to push. It happens all day on folks jobs, driving down the street, environments not made specifically for the respectful interaction of us, and we must deal with such instances in adult, responsible, and hopefully respectful manners. So why not here too? A place made specifically for positive and respectful interactions between us.

    If we can't do it here, we can't do it anywhere.

    You do have a point though Sister, I'm sure it would help some folk who are not able to control their own selves, but i tend to always look at the bigger picture. I'd much rather we learn how to deal with each other respectfully, fully facing whatever is put on the table ... so long as it is put there respectfully ... instead of choosing the option to ignore each other, turn each other off, etc. The ability to deal with each other respectfully in all scenarios, is a much more meaningful skill to learn, than how to push an ignore button.

    It's kinda ironic, that Premium Members are the only ones that have this option, for they are the least likely to need it.

    To answer your question Sister, no, i don't have anyone on ignore. There was a Member once, that I put on ignore. It was a terribly conflicting experience, giving me to know i chose the wrong option. We are a community, where I encourage everyone to take part, be respectful, as we all work to undo the conditioning put on us ... yet here I was ignoring one of our Members ... no ... that wasn't acceptable in my Spirit, so I had to undo it. I had to learn to hear and read everyone, while maintaining full control of myself, and how their words and thoughts impacted me internally. It's my knowing how to do it, that is even able to encourage you all to do it.

    But it is an option for Premium Members, though based on your testimony above, even it doesn't solve all the problems.

    Ultimately we must learn to deal with each other respectfully, no matter what.

    Sister MedusaNegrita ... let me say too, I appreciate your being here. You have given a lot of love, in the face of several warnings, a suspension, etc., you still come back and become a Premium Member, you still strive not to curse, you strive to live up to our high standards, admitting it has not been your norm. You do my heart good. Thank You Sister. Don't let anyone push you to places you don't want to be. That gives them control of you. In fact, instead of pushing (ignore) buttons, we must strive to deactivate some buttons, inside ourselves ... if all someone has to do is push it, and we respond.

    Ya know?

    Love You! :grouphug:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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