If your boy was gay?

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by kente417mojo, Jul 9, 2004.

  1. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brothas, what if you found out that one of your friends was gay? What would you do? Would you still hang out? Would you distance yourself from him? Would you feel funny in the lockerroom at the gym when it's time to "hit the showers" after a good workout? Would some activities that you guys shared be off-limits after this fact came out? Would you allow them around your kids or family and be open about who they are? Same with the ladies. Would this affect your relationship if you found out a friend of yours was gay/ lesbian? :confused:
     
  2. ZeroGravity

    ZeroGravity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey kente, I might be skewed on my perspective, but I find it hard to imagine that you would not know that someone you call a friend is gay. "one of he boys...maybe" but a friend? I'm stretching to comprehend that. I can only look at the people I call friends and based on what it took to create that friendship, not knowing whether he is gay or not would be difficult. I think friendship exposes one's idealogy and perspectives on life to a level of respect and anyone concealing that in a friendship does a disservice to the friendship as well as creating a vulnerable and compromised trust foundation.

    I would think initially one might feel betrayed and even hurt and a re-evaluation of the friendship would follow. I would need to know "what else" are they "hiding" (if anything), etc. If you felt they were your friend prior to the "revealing" then their character would probably not be an issue as far as hanging out and doing other activities. I still find it hard to call someone your friend and not know....maybe someone can help me understand how that can happen.
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    All men that are gay aren't the flaming, flashy, switching guys that we see on shows like Will & Grace. There are men that look and act like heterosexual men, but when the front door closes you'll never know what's going on unless they tell you. How many times have you thought someone was gay....that in fact wasn't. You might have come to that conclusion because of the way they spoke or walked or because of the people they interact with. An older gentleman that I know told me the other day he found out that his cousin....his cousin was gay, and he never knew. He said this guy was once a hardcore gang-banger and now he finally admitted to his family that he's gay. You can't look at every gay person and tell they are gay.
     
  4. daroc

    daroc Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    look at m vick.. he jus came out... its tons of homo thugs- as they call themselves- out here...we jus dont kno

    as a gurl... one of my old friends.. recently was jus in a relationship wit her best friend(a gurl) .. but she is not gay.... i really didnt think much about it tho...i was surprised cuz she never seemed like the type.. but then again there isnt really a type...

    and then i have a friend who is a dike...and its quite obvious... everyone knows.. even her fam and her pastor... but the conversation goes untalked about wit them... i guess its jus somin they figure not to touch...for us it jus makes our freindship more interstin'

    and then i had a friend who thot i was gay.... and told my moms... and moms ...wel she started wylin out.. buggin... wantin to kick me out...

    so it depends on allot... ofcourse if that frinedship is really tru.. ur gonna be hurt.. but then u got to think about it.. u can never truley kno someone 100%.. only what they tell u.. cuz u arent them... so if ur a true friend that jealousy and feelin of "i thot i was ur boy".. should gradually go away if the friendship is worth it

    all things arent small to everyone tho.. and some people jus cant get over small stuff..
     
  5. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think if a person is your friend, then they're your friend, gay, straight, whatever. The real question should be: why are you just finding out? Did they tell you because they felt guilty hiding something from you, or did they tell you because they hoped you felt the same?

    In high school, I had a friend that (thought she) was bi.. Probably bi-curious. She was still me girl. We hung out, and all. I just made it clear that I wasn't interested in her like that. So, it was cool. One of my cousins "came out" in college. It shocked me, because he hid it so well. But the only question I had to ask him was "Why are you just telling me?"
     
  6. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I had a friend in high school that I suspect was gay, but I never asked because if he wanted to tell me he would have....so I just left it. I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I think it would make me uncomfortable to be around him and his boyfriend or whatever. I think that may be why some people don't tell that they are gay. They know people will judge them and make their life harder. I mean, I wouldn't down anyone for being gay, but at the same time I don't want to be exposed to it.
     
  7. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If my boy was gay, I would tell him to use protection.
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If my boy was gay...I'd stop asking if "he got my back"!
     
  9. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :nuts: You're crazy panafrica. That's funny.
     
  10. AfRiCaNrOoTs5o

    AfRiCaNrOoTs5o Active Member MEMBER

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    lOl...Funny...