Black Relationships : If you know your friend's man is cheating, should you tell?

[Danilyn]

I have a friend, a very good friend, who's boyfriend of over a year is actively cheating with random girls. This is not something I just heard. It is something that I know. As her friend, do I have an obligation to tell her, or should I let her find out for herself? She is very serious about him, and has told me that she is at a point in her life where she wants to settle down. She has spent a lot of time and effort on this relationship, and I hate to see her waste her time on a lost cause. What should I do?

 

[alyce]

I do concur with Kem (this is happening too often!!!) anyway, Danilyn, as he said, some people (especially women), don't/won't accept your warning. I also know from experience when my cousin's man, who was in college with me in the South, was playing openly, while she was in the West. And once she moved down where we were, she wasn't "allowed" on campus unless he escorted her there. She was blind and had all kinds of excuses for this strange behavior. When I told her straight out that he was cheating, she went off on me and accused me of all kinds of things. Including jealousy. This was hurtful because we were raised as sisters and had never fallen out about anything.

Of course she was embarrassed and ashamed of herself when one of his women approached her with an engagement ring.....

So it depends upon your situation. Are you willing to suffer the ridicule and accusations she might hurl at you? Or is she a reasonable kind of lady. (even the "reasonable" ones can turn when it comes to LUV). Weigh it out. But like Kem says... "seeing is believing". No doubt about that.

Handle with care, sis. If she was ever a real friend, she will always be.

a

ps oh, and that woman married the scoundrel but they soon got a divorce...my cousin didn't lose out at all

 

[$$RICH$$]

I would becareful here coz in most cases i've seen friendship
end on dis note......maybe u should take her out to da place where those two meet forth she will see them her self coz
telling her and knowing how she love him may hurt her more then
she finding out herself.......i would let her know in a low key way
but out right saying it can coz a problem even friendship
and some times they get back together ........watch out here!

 

[Danilyn]

I haven't done anything yet. I appreciate everyone's point of view. I agree with the majority in that my friend could end up hating me. I like the idea of setting it up somehow where she can see for herself. I might try to get that together.

 

[j'hiah]

i say tell. she's your friend right? in the end she will know the truth anyway and you would have more respect.

i mean why let her prolong the pretense situation.
if she gets mad, so what it won't last.

if she rails on you, then let her continue to get played..
maan i've seen this type drama so many times
it's like soap operas