Black Poetry : If Only You Could See (Response to garlicsalt99's "If Only You Would Have Me")

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by LovesDestiny, Mar 17, 2008.

  1. LovesDestiny

    LovesDestiny Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2007
    Messages:
    996
    Likes Received:
    18
    Occupation:
    Finance & Endless Possibilities
    Location:
    Midwest
    Ratings:
    +18
    I am yours if only you could see
    that the best things in life are not always free
    To love you unconditionally is my mission and desire in life
    To celebrate who you are as a man and to complement you as your wife

    All I ask for in return is that “forever plus a day” kinda love
    For you to reminisce about how I put it down last night and what else I’m capable of
    I want you to yearn for the soft touch of my hand and the gaze of mine eyes to thee
    I need you to want each and every, whole, incomplete and magnificent part of me.

    I am yours and have always been since the day our two worlds collided
    If it were up to me you were gonna be mine…it was official…I had decided.
    My heart aches because I can’t express the full breadth of my passion for you
    The distance that separates our beings is unbearable but for now we have to make do

    Until the time comes when we can be as one
    I’ll continue to hold you up and cherish the prize that I’ve won

    You are:
    The light in my moon,
    The water in my creek
    The security in my blanket
    The strength when I’m weak

    You are:
    The oxygen in my tank
    The liquor that makes me drunk
    The laughter in my prank
    The P in my funk!

    I have chosen to love you til the end of time even if we are to never be
    Open your eyes to what’s in front of you because I’m yours if only you could see.
     
  2. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2001
    Messages:
    7,648
    Likes Received:
    40
    Occupation:
    thrivin' spiritually/physically/emotionally/financ
    Location:
    where failure is not an option
    Ratings:
    +42
    you are a very spirited writer

    great stuff here poet

    feeling this very much

    peace
     
  3. asimplepoet

    asimplepoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,261
    Likes Received:
    206
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Teacher
    Location:
    Somewhere between paradise and diaster
    Ratings:
    +229
    Was definitely feeling this my sister. Keep doing what you do sweetie
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    This was quite touching, and had endearing lines that made me smile as well, such as this verse:

    This was a great response to garlicsalt's piece, as well as being a well written scribe in and of itself.
     
  5. LovesDestiny

    LovesDestiny Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2007
    Messages:
    996
    Likes Received:
    18
    Occupation:
    Finance & Endless Possibilities
    Location:
    Midwest
    Ratings:
    +18
    DSS, asimplepoet and Sis. Watz!

    Thank you guys for the love. I started out a little serious with it, but I love to laugh so I had to interject a little humor somewhere. Thank you for taking the time to read!
     
  6. sthrngirl

    sthrngirl New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2008
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    You said it all sistah girl and I know exactly where you're coming from!
     
  7. garlicsalt99

    garlicsalt99 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Ratings:
    +39
    I'm just now getting to read this ... and there you go, havin' a brotha' blushin' again. You're gonna make George Clinton Jealous, with me bing the P in your funk :) I'm speechless about this piece [in a very, very good way]
     
  8. LovesDestiny

    LovesDestiny Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2007
    Messages:
    996
    Likes Received:
    18
    Occupation:
    Finance & Endless Possibilities
    Location:
    Midwest
    Ratings:
    +18
    Sthrngirl...thank you for reading!

    Garlicsalt - Its not hard to write when you have good inspiration! And apparently its not hard to make you blush either...you been doing a lot of that lately! LOL
     
  9. garlicsalt99

    garlicsalt99 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Ratings:
    +39
    During my history with Destee.com, there has only been one person to make me blush ... and I've been here for some time :)
     
Loading...