Black Relationships : If Black Women Adjust their standards....

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MsInterpret, Feb 17, 2010.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ladies, in no way am I personally quoting this so don't get mad at the messenger!

    Also, check out this other link on Destee, http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63179

    Anyways, ABC News recently did a special about successful black women who have never been married.



    Do African-American women set the standards too high for men?
     
  2. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Greetings MsInterpret and Thanks for Sharing this!

    WoW was my initial response after listening. I thought Steve hit it on the head well regarding how the younger Brothers have been socialized.
    I'm still 'processing' it all now.

    I am aware of a deep sadness as well.

    This my dear Warrior Brother Kings is a Reality for many of us SiStren who did what was taught...."go to school, don't be no fool". It also speaks to the "loving the sons and raising the daughters" mantra that I grew up hearing and watched happening AND seeing the continued dynamic of that play itself out.

    The "raising the daughter" part mean for me, that women of my generation (and after it seems) are taught to be able to provide for self. To not be in a position where you "depend" on a man (or anyone else for that matter) for basic needs and "education" was the KEY to "success". Many brothers I know, have talked with and 'counseled' talk about how they wish they had done what their Mothers encouraged them to do....get an education. They chose the 'street life' and having fun and they followed in many of their Daddy's footsteps. Most were raised in a single parent, female headed home. I think they were also heavily influenced by the male mantra of "dominance" the what the female "role" is supposed to be. They brought into the notion that "men" were to "sow their wild oats", get as much pus as they could and that a woman's job was to "take care" of them. And...we woman (least most that I know and have talked with) were taught and attempted to live out the "I'm EVERY woman" notion, being able to "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and NEVER EVER make you forget your a Man".

    Wonder why the rates of Depression are so high for Women of Afreekan Descent in high Academic Positions? I would guesstimate that is true for Women of Afreekan Descent in all sectors...from those surviving in economic impoverishment to those in the Upper Economic Class.
    Depression shows up in many forms...not just the crying, isolation, over or under sleeping and eating. It's not just the sad affect and all. Often times it is present in the one who appears to have it "all together". While "emotionalism" is often attributed to the female gender, we are also very good at hiding our "emotions".


    Ok...I suppose I've come out of my numb state as I began to type. As you can see, I did have a lot to say ...thinking and feeling a lot watching this.

    Thanks again for Sharing it MsInterpret!

    btw...what is YOUR "interpretation" of what you've shared:?:


    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  3. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh yes...and to answer the question posed: "Do African-American women set the standards too high for men?"....


    NO!

    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  4. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    only if you adjust them UPwards!!

    Please, myQueens, never lower the Standards; only raise them. that's just a downward spiral that gives the black community/family what we have today!!

    enough IS Enough!

    (ps; "yeah! what she said!")
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    these issues have nothing to do with "standards".

    the problem here as with many other situations is that black people are brainwashed.
    no matter how much education you have and what money that you make if you are self destructive you will not do well.
    the system of white supremacy teaches black people to treat each other poorly. this is across the board.
    when you are brainwashed you will find it hard to find your way in life.
     
  6. DARKSIDE MAGICK

    DARKSIDE MAGICK Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    WHAT HAPPEN TO LIKING AND/OR LOVING A PERSON JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE/LOVE THE PERSON.
     
  7. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My words exactly Darkside Magick!:fyi:

    ----------------------------------------------​
    I understand that these women have worked hard to get where they are, and now they want someone who has achieved as much as them. But if they still aren't getting the man they want, then maybe there is something deeper than their standards.

    Maybe like Steve says...they have to compromise.

    That's what relationships are about anyways compromising.
     
  8. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's interesting!...How so are these SiStars 'brainwashed"....IF that is what you are suggesting....are you:?:


    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  9. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    WoW...I did not hear any of them suggest this at all.

    I did hear them say they wanted things like "honesty", "supportive", "financially stable".

    I heard Steve say..."Men of my age have made a mistake"..."missing, absent"....

    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  10. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I did also hear one of the sisters allude to "chemistry" being important. Without it, things would not work.


    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
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