Black Poetry : i stand outside...

[baller]

I Stand Outside

Through the haze of morning’s fog
I see vague images of wholesome things
And deeper things
Like “hopes,” and “dreams”
Where “THE BLUES” man sings
The pain of my sorrow

~ But tomorrow finds me sinking still

From my periphery vision window sill
I see a wandering soul
Lurking through the tunnels of (untold) time

MY CRIME…

I stand outside

I stand outside MY WORLD
Looking through ONE-WAY mirrors of OPAGUE SADNESS
Praying for a way back to my gladness

I stand outside

I stand outside a LISTLESS HEART
Looking for a start
…My start
To a better life
…A loving wife

“She will bring joy into my life,” I thought

I stand outside

I stand outside the home of my CRIPPLED HEART
Not doing my part
Not carrying the weight of my FRACTURED ACHES
Nor seeking the possibility of a SOUL MATE

I stand outside

I stand outside the doorway of greatest stress
Under the weight of
UNFULFILLED PROMISES
And wasted dreams
All I could do was scream my frustration…so

I SCREAMED…

I screamed my pain
At the string of broken hearts I’ve attained
From bratty little kitty cats (with no brains)
Did all I could do…to maintain
But I could maintain…no more

Yes…I screamed

I screamed my DISCONTENTMENT at life’s ugly scent
‘Til my brain was fried and my lungs…spent

And I could scream…no more

I stand outside

I stand outside the ENTRY-way to eternal joy
Beyond the river of jovial contentment

Waiting

Peaceful calm melted glaciers of deeply-felt iciness
Over the abundance of pain gained
From relationship’s strain

I stand outside

I stand outside the vision of a rich man’s world
Fending for a girl (I can never have)
Due to past lives
And broken cries
And wandering eyes
And playa crimes
And an insurmountable list of “He’s so bad,” things
That women like her can’t even dream (of)

I stand outside

I stand outside the “gateway”
Of a “you and me” fusion parleyed into
Love paid off…but not won
COZ the “gateway” wouldn’t open unto my (kinda) fun

I stand outside

I stand outside the river’s way to true happiness
I’m not like the rest
…Not blessed with the gift of gab
Draped in da dreaded drab ~ Isn’t an attraction for the masses
Was never first in any of my classes
Not flashy…or charismatic
Love was never automatic (for me)

I stand outside

I stand outside the fringes of polite society
Trying to be the man my momma prayed I’d be
Didn’t want me thinking people be afraid of me
Lest they lay in wait…for me
Waiting to say
“May He Rest In Peace,”

TODAY

I stand​

 

[watzinaname]

This was quite touching, so much to say about this piece. You talk of screaming...screaming is good, better to directly face what you're feeling, then to try to sweep it all under a rug. I tried doing that, and it didn't work out very well. I could highlight ever verse, but I chose this one:

I stand outside the river’s way to true happiness
I’m not like the rest
…Not blessed with the gift of gab
Draped in da dreaded drab ~ Isn’t an attraction for the masses
Was never first in any of my classes
Not flashy…or charismatic
Love was never automatic (for me)

And there is more than one queen out there, unique and blessed in her own way like you, who will cherish you. Appreciated this flow brother poet.

 

[queentswana]

You've already fought the hardest battle, ...of releasing it. Anything after that can/will just get better. And always know that you never "Stand Alone".
Awesome piece poet...your ship is on the way, you will master it well.

 

[baller]

battles fought and over come...

speaks to the depth of ones soul...and character of his/her heart. we all experience adversity, regardless of its form of dress...or appearance...and, hopefully, we are better for the experience. THANKS for reading me.

 

[Lataisha Nicole]

This was a wonderfully written,emotional piece that is well felt, in your words I saw the pain, though you stand outside, my spirit, invites you in.
Be Blessed!