Black Poetry : ~I STAND INSIDE~~

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by 4EVERLUV, May 19, 2009.

  1. 4EVERLUV

    4EVERLUV Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Inspired by baller's "I Stand Outside"

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    i stand inside these dreamy walls safe and tall

    wondering constantly if he will ever call

    or come inside to join me

    if only he could just trust and believe

    that stepping inside might coincidentally be

    exactly where he longs to be

    but yet i stand inside looking out at he….

    and he stands outside looking inside at me

    contemplating should we take a chance …. once again

    i stand inside because its become my comfort zone

    and although some days i feel so alone

    alone is what i choose to be

    instead of taking the risk of losing

    the most beautiful part of me (my heart)…..

    i stand inside thinking outside of my mind

    about you and how you stand outside….

    wondering if

    your thinking inside of your mind

    of passionate times beginning with me and ending with you

    awaking to windows drenched in the mornings dew

    but yet i still stand inside and you still stand outside

    neither wanting to brave the chance of love and romance

    intimate dance hands holding hands walking on baby powder sand

    love’s pains gone but not forgotten emotionally holding us hostage

    as i stand inside looking outside at you

    i want to be the one to stop this madness that we do

    and open up loves doors wide for you

    make it is easy for you to choose

    to take a trip inside

    and cruise straight pass those outside blues

    but still i stand inside….wishing you

    were inside too​
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Beautifully laid inside out ....enjoyed it much sis.
     
  3. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister 4EVERLUV
    This is very beautiful. :terrific:

    There are so many lines in this flow I like.


     
  4. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    4EVERLUV...this is as beautiful as your name...

    This outside-inside dilemma simmers
    As meditations on love
    And the pain of love
    Causes love
    To fade away
    Another day of
    “Should I-Would She” questions
    Of life lessons
    And the constant struggles of guessing
    Got us messing ‘round with
    Hopes and dreams
    Thinking of glorious things
    And the doors it opens
    I’m hoping
    That what tomorrow brings
    Is more of YOU and ME
    BUT…IT SEEMS
    This outside aim
    Isn’t about you and me
    But the solitary pain
    Of the journey I’ve claimed

    ‘TIS MY FAME.

    But journeys sometime change
    And destinations change
    And chances are taken
    On risky relations
    Coz being alone
    And standing alone
    Inside or outside ones throne
    Isn’t the comfort zone
    We long for

    SO…
    There is a coming together
    ME and YOU
    Cleaver…The words you use
    “Windows drenched in morning’s dew”
    Yet, we forever choose
    The inside world
    Or, an outside blues

    OVER LOVING YOUS​
     
  5. Lataisha Nicole

    Lataisha Nicole Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow, This poem is beautiful and touching. I sense the yearning for a love, that is not returned or maybe just can't be, for whatever reason. Waiting, knowing that though he can be pulled in, who would be the blame for a broken heart in the end. Knowing that if he comes on his own accord, then that love, may just be forever yours, but sometimes, it's nice to just jump in head first, throw all the cards up into the air and let them fall where they may, having in the end, no regrets.
    I loved this write, and Baller I loved your reply!
    My interpretation may not be right, but reading this made me think and feel good, which is poetry's ultimate goal.
    Thank you!
    Bless!
     
  6. 4EVERLUV

    4EVERLUV Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    $$RICH$$:
    Thanks luv for your always sweet and kind words. You know
    I adore you.:)


    HODEE:
    You are so sweet...I very much appreciate the read.


    Lataisha:
    Hey sis, first let me say thank you for the read and your very
    kind words. The piece was not a about a particular person more so
    a particular situation that I have seen on more than one occasion
    with myself and past admirers. After reading baller's piece it was
    like a light went off in my head....and I wrote the poem.


    baller:
    I want to say thank you for inspiring me and your
    terribly sweet words of kindness. I had not
    penned anything in months and read your piece and
    all of a sudden I not only wanted to write I need to.
    Your flow back to the piece tells me you felt what
    I was expressing. I know everyones perception
    of a poem is sometimes different, but you hit it dead
    on. That does not surprise me though...your a master
    at your craft. Thanks again my dear



    Much Luv to you all
     
  7. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    *sigh* whats a sista gotta do to get this on a bumper sticker lol

    Sista i know you got a beautiful grand-baby angel in your life but you cant ignore ya pen :)

    and ummmm errrr uhhhh Brotha baller on the flowback maaaaaaaaan

    LOVELY! :D
     
  8. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The wanting and yearning, the needing to free one's heart, despite the possibility of it becoming broken. How beautiful, and a great flowback from brother baller as well. Thumbs way up.
     
  9. 4EVERLUV

    4EVERLUV Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    trin-trin:
    Girl where have you been....I was about to
    send the people looking for you....lol
    When you find out about the bumper sticker
    let me know and I got half ok...lolol
    Thank you dear friend for your luv and always
    witty responses. You keep me laughn'


    watz:
    Your another one that I've been
    missing. It so nice to see you
    around. Thanks for kind sweet words.
    baller really flowed this one back.


    Much Luv
     
  10. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi 4Ever!

    I enjoyed this piece in its entirety, however, those words clocked
    me in the head like a V8. :) A beautiful inspired piece!

    feelin'itsouldeep!
    Coco:dance:
     
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