Black Women : I need some womenly advice of how to plan......

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by krazelyricks, Jul 27, 2004.

  1. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm finally taking some time out to relax. Can you believe that? Well, after I fell out at a performance last Monday on stage I had to do something. I'm taking some time off the poetry tour I'm on. Don't worry, they said it was just a little stress. I just got to ease up a little bit. I'm doing to much. Well, since I was off I decided to start planning my wedding for the fall. Lawd, you wouldn't believe the prices they wanted throw on a sistah. I tried to rent a beautiful garden for the wedding in a green house. I swear, I almost fell out when they told a sistah I had to pay $3000 just for five hours. It was a thousand for every additional hour. You know a sistah ain't used to pullin' out that kind of bread. (fanning myself) Anyway, after falling out and coming to about three times I finally realized I had a lot of plans to make. For instance how am I suppose to know what is a deal and what's not? How am I suppose to know if I'm getting cheated? This is my first wedding and well, I want it to be special like any other girl would. It's not everyday you jump the broom. Well, for some but not for this girlie. Anyway, I wanted to know if somebody wouldn't mind giving a little girlie some pointers on this kind of stuff. Have any of you ever planned any kind of party? If so, how did you go about doing it? I know that I'm going to have to book the garden or wherever this thing is going to be held at now. If I'm going to have it for the fall. I just need a little advice though. Surely, some sistahs out there don’ planned an event before. How should I go about this?
     
  2. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Greetings Sister Foxi, it's been a while and seems like a lot has happened since you and I last chatted. First of all, congratulations on the upcoming nuptials. That's exciting news and I wish you and your husband-to-be, the best.

    I've never planned a wedding before but I know it's a lot of work and can be as expensive or inexpensive as your imagination and personal taste will allow.

    To me, how you would start planning would be in determining your budget--how much money you have or want to spend on your wedding. Unless you have boundless energy and tons of patience and unlimited resources, then you might want to consider locating someone locally that plans these types of events for a living. Knowing what type of wedding you want--traditional (european) or afrocentric theme is important and helps you choose the best wedding planner for you.

    Although you will have to pay for the wedding planner's services, they should be able to save you time, money and cut through a lot of the red tape and hassle so that you don't have to be bothered and stressed. Tell them what your budget is that you have to work with and let them design a wedding that not only fits that budget but is exactly what you want.

    Good luck!

    Queenie
     
  3. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Greetings Foxi!

    Congratulations on both the tour and the upcoming nuptials. I agree with Queen. A wedding planner can save you alot of headache but the final decisions will still be yours. If you don't want to go that route, know that you will have to comparison shop. Fall is fast approaching and finding the ideal spot that isn't already booked will be the hardest thing. Concentrate on that and your budget. Make a plan for the rest. How many in the bridal party, type of flowers, catering. Do you know anyone who is a really good cook? Tap into the resources that are around you and you can make it happen. Blessings.
     
  4. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Jazzy girl I love your signature line!!! :lol: I'm feeling you today on that one! :spank:

    Queenie :heart:
     
  5. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Queenie! I feel like that alot! :hammer:
     
  6. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank ya'll. I think I will start looking for weeding planners today. They better not be asking for more than a thousand because I know I will surely fall out again. A sistah ain't got that much money to be throwing around cause a sistah is flat out broke. You feel me?
     
  7. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Now Sister Foxi, in today's economy, things aren't cheap and even though a thousand ain't a whole lot of money these days, it's better than nothing and you can make it work for you sis. You might want to forget the wedding planner because my thinking is they will suck up $1k with a single conversation.

    Okay, now that you know what you have to spend, then I would suggest that you keep things simple. Find out how many people in your immediate family and friends are willing to work along with you. Work with your fiance' and have him pull his family and friends together as well. Invest in a book that gives details on how to plan weddings. Sit down and create a checklist of things to do and figure out timelines and details for getting them done. Then assign a person to complete the task.

    Start with the marriage license--first things first. Then maybe select a location that is FREE. A garden wedding--see if you can find a nice park area nearby and schedule your wedding at a time when it won't be crowded with other people. Then find a person who will preside over the nuptials. Licensed and inexpensive is the key.

    Assign someone to be in charge of wedding invitations--someone who has the skill to create them on computer would be great; just supply them with paper and envelopes you can purchase from any office supply store.

    You want wedding cake and food at the reception? This is where family could also come in handy. You might want to spend a little money on the cake for decoration purposes and if you know someone who has that skill and will give you a discount that's even better. I'm sure family can figure out what to serve at your reception--depends on time of day and budget allowance.

    Attire? Look for sales keeping it simple and comfortable, not to mention can be worn on other occasions.

    Almost forgot--wedding bands. One, two? Again, shop for sales and for starters, keep it simple. It's not so much about what you spend as it is the symbolic meaning. You can always upgrade if you want to down the road.

    I would suggest you not spend all of your money on the wedding. Hold some back. Save some money for starting off as a newly married couple. Set it aside in savings and use it only in emergency situations.

    Try to pay cash for things and don't use CREDIT CARDS!!!

    Just a few more of my thoughts! Hope this helps.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  8. Akilah

    Akilah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Our lil' Sis is gettin' married.... awww :bawling: **happy tears**
    Congratulations sweetie !!!!

    My advise is gonna sound so corny, but I'm talkin' from experience chile.

    I know you want your special day to be memorable... most brides do, but try very hard to stay focused on the reason for this celebration.... the love you two share..... and KEEP IT SIMPLE !!!!

    It's very tempting to get caught up in all the accompaniments.... invitations, programs, flowers, food, wine, dresses, bridesmaids etc etc etc and etc... and it can get very expensive as you're already finding out.

    The library and bookstores such as barnes & noble and Books a Million can be invaluable. There are many books available that offer info on how to have beautiful weddings on a small budget .

    One of the tips I utilized was in hiring a photography student from a local community college for the wedding photos.... I got a large selection of photos and a lovely album at a greatly discounted rate (about $100) in exchange I agreed to allow her to use a few of my photos in her "final exam" portfolio. It helped that she worked at a photography lab *smile*.

    Basically, you have to stand firm and make this the day of YOUR (and your groom's) dreams and stand firm on that .... decide what is most important to you and budget accordingly. If you want a beautiful dress ... there are discounted bridal shops such as Dave's Bridal where u can find a lovely discontinued models off the rack for example... Maybe ur not big into that sort of thing or have another style of apparel in mind so that's an area where u can save alot of money... Same thing goes for the bridal bouquet ..... A big bountiful armful of roses vs a single elegant silk ribbon wrapped (stem) calla lilly... how much do flowers mean to YOU ? Many technical/vocational schools have floral arrangement certificate programs where inexpensive flower arrangements made by the students can be ordered. And as far as food is concerned.... it may be important to you to have a big ol' feast for your guests or u may decide that cake and punch is sufficient.... Music is another area : Do u hire a professional dj or do u get your cousin to spin the cd's for ya ? .... community colleges are good places to hire student musicians if ur interested in say a live jazz quartet on the cheap... They are sooo happy to have the opportunity to ply their craft that they are willing to play for little of nothing. Should u have separate wedding and reception locations or an all in one locale ??? Having them in the same place can be VERY cost effective... Again, Decide what is MOST important to YOU and budget accordingly !!! :wink:

    Well Miss Foxi, I hope that along with the other sistahs who have replied, I have helped in some small way ... I just know ur special day will be wonderful in any case.

    Much Happiness,
    Akilah :spinstar:
     
  9. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You know, my mother used ot be a wedding planner. She said after she does these lst 2 weddings, she's thinking of leaving it be (she has MS, and her energy level is down). But, from watching her, one of the main things I learned is: if you can do it yourself, do it!

    Like a veil. One of the women went looking for a veil... Some of those cost up to $10, 000. You can make a veil for like $20. Shop around for bargins. And keep it simple.
     
  10. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh my, you all have helped me so much. I sat down with my fiance over the last week and we took information from all of you all's strategies and we made out a plan. We decided to look up a wedding planner, yes, but like Queenie said, they wanted to spend tons and tons of money that we just didn't want to spend. Well, at least not on a wedding. We did decided however from talking to a wedding planner that it was best that we had a simple traditional wedding in a church setting. From there we asked a few people in the church and family to help with the food cause lawd knows we are going to need a lot of food. They agreed to help us. He also got some people from UGA's band to help with valet parking. The pastor at the church, who I'm glad remembered me because I haven't been there in so long, agreed to do the ceremony and lend the church out to us. We will do the invitation through his father does the church programs and send them out a month before time or should I say the university will be sending it out for us. He has connections. Either way, we have so much to do if it's going to be done before the fall. I want to just thank you all for all your replies and if you think you can help me in any other way like telling me ways I can get someone to sing for us. Our family doesn't have talent in that field. I've seen most weddings have siners. I know this is not an necessity but I would love to have one. Should I have auditions or something? Because I would be willing to pay.
     
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