Black Relationships : I need some sista's thoughts on this

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MississippiRed, Sep 13, 2004.

  1. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    1,307
    Likes Received:
    33
    Ratings:
    +34
    Man I saw my girl yesterday..well in all honesty she is not my girl but she is a woman that I love (for some unknown reason ) above all others. I first saw this woman two and a half years ago and from the first time I saw her I loved her...it's real.....never said anything to her because of a situation I was in but thought about her daily and I mean daily....was at church one day about a year later and who do I bump into but old girl...man I thought I was going to faint....spoke talked for a minute but nothing more..am honestly afraid of this woman...feel too much for her..so finally started talking to her went out a few times and was really feeling fresh...decided to not be my normal self so didn't play any games was completely honest and open with this woman...told her exactly how I felt and how long I'd been feeling like this..man I mean I feel her when she's not around smell her, hear her taste her lips yall feeling what I'm saying...anyway....we have two days that are wonderful beautiful..perfect days..you know hand holding days...talking about life days..regrets, dreams, hopes..the whole deal...the next day she says " I can't see you anymore" ok long story short...I saw her yesterday in passing and she wouldn't even look at me ..I mean cut her eyes away like I have an extra hand coming out of my forehead....and we were maybe two feet apart...she won't even talk to me on the phone...this is the wildest thing I've ever experienced a real trip.....I never did anything to wrong this woman only gave of myself..mind body and soul...but I can't tell if she broke because of me being me or she was starting to get more emotionally than she wanted...I mean I used to feel the emotion when we touched or even at times when wouldn't speak we'd just sit and look at one another hugged up....we would talk 3 or 4 times a day...once she needed somebody to talk to and called me at 1:30 in the morning we didn't get off until I had to leave to take my kids to school at 7:30 and now she won't answer the phone when I call won't talk to me at all and won't even look at me...not to sound like an oversensitive man but this has never happened to me never not even with the mother of my kids ..I'm sad to not be able to be with her but happy that I've gotten to experience this feeling for real....most times I wouldn't care one way or another ...maybe it's just karma huh.......anyway I'm just wanting to know what the sista's think about this..I mean do you think could it be something that I did but didn't know it to turn somebody off like this or could it be that she's afraid to fall in love I mean real Love and just decided to completely get away from the thing she's afraid of.....anyway any advice yall can throw a brother I'd appreciate....maybe I should go back to doggin at least that way I didn't feel vulnerable and open....Holla at ya boy....

    Mississippi Red
     
  2. Nubian1Princess

    Nubian1Princess Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    Ratings:
    +2
    Peace to you MississippiRed.

    Haven't been in many relationships; however I can say that I think I know how it feels to be in love. I've been in a relationship for 3 years and through all of the heartaches and tough times, whenever it seemed that we were at the end of our rope I felt the only way for me to cleanse myself of him would be to cut off all contact. Perhaps the Sister you were involved with felt she was falling too hard or wasn't ready for whatever it was that you two had. Or by you being totally honest with her she may feel that some of the things you shared with her about your past, may not sit well with her in the present if you two were to pursue a completeness with one another. There is a great chance that she felt the best way for her to end the relationship would be to release you fully.

    Personally, I feel if you really love the lady, go for it. Pursue her. If it's meant to be things will work out. However, don't simply let her go if there's something within your being longing to connect with her.
     
  3. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,146
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,102
    I'm sorry to hear that Brother MississippiRed! :(

    Life is a very strange thing. One thing I can suggest you to try, is corner her and do or say something that will make her breakout into laughter. I find that getting someone to laugh is a great icebreaker.

    It could be many reasons why she throwing you shade. Maybe she saw something or someone told her something about you. It does seem kind of odd being that you both were getting along so well. Is also possible that she has somebody else and was feeling you to deep. You can never really tell unless she tells you.

    Maybe you should just back off a while. If you see her just say hello and keep it moving. Then try again at a later time. Giving her some space to roll in her thoughts. However, If you can get her to laugh she might just breakdown and tell you whats going on.

    I hope it works out for you. :luvv: Good luck Brother! :grouphug:
     
  4. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    836
    Likes Received:
    31
    Ratings:
    +31
    I KNOW YOU ONLY WANT THE SISTAS OPINION ON THIS BROTHA, THEY'LL GIVE YOU THE SENSITIVE EMOTIONAL RESPONSES. BUT LETS INJECT SOME LOGIC INTO THIS SITUATION BRUH. GUY, I THINK YOU SHOULD PLAY IT CASUAL FROM NOW ON. WHEN YOU SEE HER SMILE AND SAY HELLO, DON'T CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE. BUT BE READY TO GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. MAYBE YOU AINT THE ONLY CAT SHE'S BEEN DIGGING. FEEL ME? MAYBE THERE WAS SOMEONE THERE BEFORE YOU. MAYBE SOMEONE SHE WAS TAKING A BREAK FROM WHEN YOU CAME ALONG. MAYBE HE'S BACK IN THE PICTURE NOW. PERHAPS SHE JUST HAS PERSONAL ISSUES THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT. MAYBE YOU SAID SOMETHING SHE DIDN'T LIKE, BUT THE FACT THAT SHE WOULD CUT YOU OFF WITHOUT EVEN LETTING YOU KNOW HOW SHE FELT, COULD BE SOMETHING THAT SHE WOULD DO IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. TRUST ME BRUH, YOU DON'T WANT THAT. WHATEVER HAPPENS THOUGH, DON'T CHANGE MY BROTHER, DON'T START DOGGIN WOMEN. YOU MIGHT DOG A DIAMOND, YOU WOULD ONLY BE PLAYING YOURSELF THEN.

    THAT'S MY "BIG" OPINION.
     
  5. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Messages:
    4,909
    Likes Received:
    613
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    (RF) Technician
    Location:
    ( Alonewolf ) California.. by way of the LOU
    Ratings:
    +795
    " happy that I've gotten to experience this feeling for real "

    Feeling you Red. That is strange. Simular situation was a lady I liked many years ago like this. Had another in her life. Those around her, were friends of her man. He was in jail and coming out when we met.

    Your quote above rings so true. Better to have experienced it for the time it was. To have not experienced it at all.

    She will tell you later. Only problem is she has the clock in her court.

    Everyone so far has given some good advice.

    Experiencing that feeling.. like anything that brings joy. Tends to leave you wanting more. Take Big's advice.. it may return, much different. It will also make you bitter to give and not recieve, so don't stress on the lose. Keep flowing for now.
     
  6. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Messages:
    1,244
    Likes Received:
    14
    Occupation:
    Love my job!
    Location:
    Seattle
    Ratings:
    +15
    Mississippi,
    That is a beautiful post...even though the outcome wasn't. That really sucks. There is nothing worse than putting yourself out there like that and still getting crushed. I like being totally honest and up front with the man I choose to get involved with...and I too experienced my honesty coming back to bite me.

    I gathered from a post you wrote somewhere around here that you are married...if so could that be why she took a step back?

    At any rate, I say be yourself. Purplemoons is right...getting her to relax and maybe laugh a little may open her up to communicating with you as to why she backed off.

    I sincerely wish you the best...and I hope one day soon I could experience that same feeling you have for her.

    Best wishes!
     
  7. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    836
    Likes Received:
    31
    Ratings:
    +31
     
  8. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2002
    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    182
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Economist
    Location:
    Detroit, MI
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +236
     
  9. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    1,307
    Likes Received:
    33
    Ratings:
    +34
    I was married but at times it seems like I might as well still be....a lot of what has happened with this woman I think is Karma because I was a dog man I am a dog......I've treated some of the women in my life truly bad and some of them I've even talked to recently and apologized for it...life is a funny thing....but Monetary I didnt' only dog sista's I dogged any and every woman that came across my path ...that's real..probably some personal issues I'm working out had a lot to do with that but oh well......I think the reason she bounced is because she is what I was..you know....it's just my time to be the doggy instead of the dogger........I give her all the room she needs man...actually I don't even speak to her now because I dont' want to speak...and have her keep on kicking...it's a trip what life will do to you....whether I go back to the old ways or not..I can't really say only time will tell for now I'm chilling with my kids and dogs and fishing as much as I can....fishing is a beautiful thing....and dog please don't put a foot in my arse I could live without that...lol....Thank yall for the advice I appreciate it more than yall know....

    Mississippi Red

    Being Real is a hard and dangerous job. :devil:
     
  10. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    836
    Likes Received:
    31
    Ratings:
    +31
    DON'T WORRY DOG, I'LL TAKE MY FOOT OUT YOU'RE ***. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOURSELF MORE THAN TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH A WOMAN BROTHA. JUST TREAT THEM RIGHT, AND THAT WAY YOU'LL HAVE NO REGRETS IN THE END AND A CLEAR CONSCENCE TO BOOT. WHEN YOU DO RIGHT, NO ONE CAN SAY YOU DESERVE BAD THINGS. BESIDES THAT, GOD WILL LOOK OUT FOR YOU IN THE END.


    THAT'S MY "BIG" OPINION
     
Loading...