Black Teenagers : I need some advice

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by BallOfConfusion, Nov 27, 2007.

  1. BallOfConfusion

    BallOfConfusion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Shine some light on my situation if you can. Ok so here is my dilemma, I've had this friendship for two years now & lately I feel like this person is pulling away from me. I really like them, and I don't have many friends so I try to do everything can to stay connected to the ones I have. I try going the extra mile to reach out and make sure are friendship doesn't dwindle but nothing I do helps.I don't wanna be over-bearing and annoying. I seen this one tyler perry play; were he says "if someones trying to get out of your life let them go" Good advice - I've tried it but I can't. So what should I do. Talk to em...yea?? I love to sit down and have a talk with this person but they never have time for me. I see him very sporadically just in passing & to me it always seems like... i don't know like something is missing. He always looks sad and distant toward me. I think I'm starting to realize just cause you've been friends for a long time doesn't mean you'll be friends forever.
     
  2. FaithSoulSistah

    FaithSoulSistah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No, there is no guarantee that friendships will last forever. Sometimes friends grow apart. Also, you shouldn't be the one making all of the effort to keep the friendship alive. That is not fair to you. It may be hard, but let it go. You will build more friendships in time.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    tell the person how you feel. after that, let it go

    friendships have a beginning, a middle and an end. itz a natural flow. if you cannot let go of the old you will have no hand free to grasp the new.
     
  4. Zulile

    Zulile Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    in addition - I think most of us know what it is like to have someone making too much of an effort and you're just not feeling it. Hanging with someone like that could become more an obligation, than a joy - which isnt good for either party.

    Let the friend go if the relationship is not a 2 way street - dont sell your value short - and be true - to you. You know it's imbalanced, thus your question - so stop it, right now. It wont get better if only one of you is trying.
     
  5. BallOfConfusion

    BallOfConfusion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks! It's always good to hear confirmation of what I was already thinking. "Zulie" - lol you are so right about that obligation hang out; it gets to the point were it's just awkward and not fun. It's hard but..it's gotta be out with the old & in with new!!
     
  6. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    One of the biggest lessons in life "friends forever"...

    Don't be afraid to make new friends.... there are all kinds of people in our lives.... and sometimes some people are not suppose to be a permanent part of your life but a "passer through" if you will..... no relationship is a waste.. focus on what you have learned from your friend... express the same way to your friend what you have expressed to us... i know it seems corny but sometimes a lil card with a note so you are not interrupted as you speak your peice.. then like everyone says let it go...

    sometimes in order to grow we must let go of things and make room for the unknown....

    you could bless so many with your apparently caring nature and your friendship.....

    this makes me think of that part on Coach Carter.... "what is your deepest fear young man".....

    LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE AND GIVE OTHERS THE RIGHT TO DO THE SAME.

    STAY UP FAM!
     
  7. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When you really need them you'll find out who your true friends are.
    I have let go of some ver very dear friends.
    If someone is causing you pain than they don't deserve your friendship.
    When the communication ends so does the friendship.
     
  8. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can tell From Current Experience that it is best to either leave it be for a while, slow down....or completely move on.
    Nothing Is solved by lingering on one thing it needs Closure whether it be close on the friendship and/ or closure on where the Friendship is going....But you can figure that out for yourself.....I f you need to be free be free do not be scared to....that makes YOUR world worse.....And on a very good note......It is so good to be By yourself at least sometime....so spent some time By yourself......And think about that

    ~PeaceandLove...Sis.~(I think I am Right...LOL)
     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    If you're the one doing all the work, it's time to let it go. You are setting yourself up to be used.
     
  10. MenNefer

    MenNefer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    message in the bottle

    (possible Closure)

    Write a letter explaining what you thought your friendship was about and recap some of those candid moments you shared with that person and how you dug that. Bring it to the present, but make it short; stating that your line of communication is open but you will not be contacting anymore because you respect their space. *The End*.....let the mailing of the letter ritualize you actually putting the friendship behind you. (steer clear of expectations)
     
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