Black Relationships : I NEED SOME ADVICE

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Smurfette, Aug 12, 2004.

  1. Smurfette

    Smurfette Member MEMBER

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    I have a problem I need the advice of an elder, someone more wiser, someone who has been there and done that. I am 17 years old going on 18 soon. This boy that I have dated for a while and ended the relationship with, recently got locked up and I dont know what to do to hold him down, what does he expect for me to do? I write him all the time, I tell him how I feel, I just dont know what else to do, how else can I help him, how can I help him do his time, like what is some advice that I should tell him? I told him to keep drawing because he has potential, I am just tired of telling him the same thing over and over, PLEASE SOME ONE GIVE ME ADVICE, HELP ME.....
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    are you his mother?
    if not, you best see about your own life.
    study, go to school and grow up.
    he did the crime.
    he does the time.
    not you.
     
  3. Smurfette

    Smurfette Member MEMBER

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    I hear what ou are saying jamesfrmphilly

    B]I am in school I will be a freshman as of Sept. 1 2004 at a four year college out here in New Jersey, I am working and looking forward to getting another job, to keep myself busy, or if anything, Im thinking of starting up a hip hop dance class at my school. Many people over and over told me to give up on him, and this and that, but I cant let go of him, I care for him, we been through so much, and through everything we still managed to keep the friendship that we have lasting. I care so much for him, I miss him, I put so much work into "us" and I just dont want to lose him. I cant stop thinking about him, and I have shut down every "dude", that tried to start a relationship with me. I just cant do it, its like a fish caught up in a net, the fish is struggling trying hard, but wont be set free unless someone helps the fish. Thats how I am. I guess Im just sprung, or in teenage love I dont know but I just want to help him out the best that I can. I want to see him become something, I want him to be happy. I just dont know what else to do. [/B]
     
  4. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You will keep him occupied while he is in jail. You will stay "faithful" to him while he is in jail (even though you two have broke up). But when he gets out...he will more than likely be with someone else. Jail promises always sound good...but never pan out.

    I'd be his friend, pen pal even, but I would not be waiting on him to get out of jail and putting my life on hold. YOU ARE NOT IN JAIL WITH HIM. Live your life and date other people.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    go find your self a counselor or therapist and discuss your situation with them.
    there should be one at school.
     
  6. Lucky

    Lucky Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this just sounds so funny to me i'm sorry but I cant help but to :laugh: LOL.

    Watch Monica’s new video "It don’t matter" You'll know what to do then.
     
  7. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i miss the humor, please explain.
     
  8. Ledda

    Ledda Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First of all, you're really young to worry about "holding someone down". Have you ended the relationship you have with this individual or are you in some way still attached? Do you stil want to be attached? Or are you there trying to be a friend now? It sounds like you've got big plans for yourself. If you've told him the same thing over and over, there's not much else you can do to help him. There are some you can't help no matter how hard you try. I'm not saying he's one of them, and it's apparent that you want to be of help but don't sacrifice what you want to and have to do for yourself. He's got some decisions and changes to make on his own. You can only do so much and if he truly wants and needs your help he's got to help himself first. You may not always be able to be there.
     
  9. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Smurfette

    Want some real advice?

    I suggest that when you graduate from high-school, leave America and go to college over in Canada or Europe and find yourself a desent quality brutha from overthere.

    Stop messing around with criminals and bums.

    It will only ruin you life and make you confused and bitter as you get older.
     
  10. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    You need to move on. You are WAY too young to be revolving your whole life around someone in prison.

    Pretend that he said, "I'm dumping you," and go on about your life!
     
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