i need some advice... please respond!

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by Elise, Mar 11, 2005.

  1. Elise

    Elise Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2005
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    okay... i am 15 years old, and i am talking to this one boy who is 20. i want to know if it is possible for an older male to actually like/love a younger female. he is very sweet and kind to me. i am a virgin and he has never even once pressured me about sex. i mean even when we are together he doesn't even try to kiss me or touch me without my permission first. he doesnt stay where i live. i live in indiana and he is all the way in texas. i know that there are many perverts and petafiles <sp> in this world, but i seriously dont think he is one of them. but maybe there is something i am missing, so please respond and tell me your honest opinion.
     
  2. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,647
    Likes Received:
    363
    Occupation:
    Leader-Student-Teacher
    Location:
    Everywhere
    Ratings:
    +367
    My Sistah:

    First and foremost welcome to the Destee Family! We are proud God led you to us.

    Now to your concern, because I like to get to the point when it comes to advice.

    You are 15 years-old; you have your whole life ahead of you. All you need to worry about is getting through school. I would say the same thing is he was also 15 years-old. As a matter of fact Elise, I have a question: Do you like him, or does he like you? I would not suggest that you tell him that you like him, and this is just for your safety. He is 20 years-old; if he wants to be friends with you, then that is fine, especially if he is out of state - but don't get too serious because out-of-state relationships do not always work out. Just correspond with him as a friend, then when you get older, perhaps the two of yall can meet up and begin talking. I understand that he is a nice person and all, but that is how EVERYONE, not just 20 year-olds should be treating you. I do not want to play devil's advocate, but I think the fact that he is older, then being so kind and so nice to you and hiding sex sounds too good to be true. How long have yall been spending time with each other?
    You said he never tries to kiss you or touch you without your permission? Well has he kissed you or touched you yet? I can see if he asked you and you let him, but it sounds as if he did not do it, and you FEEL he would ask you first if yall did it.
    If there is anything that I do not do, that is encourage people not to be with whon they want to be with; I encourage them to be VERY CAREFUL and be ready for anything (for your safety). I have witnessed too many people of our generation play "intelligent one" on the girls, and then turn around and do what the others do. Just play it safe honey. If you really want to be with him, give it time, and things will work out for you. In the meantime, stay inschool, get the best grades you can, earn a free scholarship to college A(if necessary), and things should be fine.

    I thank you for bringing this issue to our attention, and we will be willing to help you out at anytime possible. That is what we at Destee are here for. I certainly look forward to reading more of your future posts, and I wish you the best of luck with your friend. Keep in mind that as long as you are here at Destee, make yourself at home. The rest of the brothas and sistahs should be able to offer you better advice than I did; this was just a start.

    CD
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2004
    Messages:
    3,756
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +34
    Yeah, because he's waiting for the right time because he knows that what he's doing is against the law. My advice, leave this grown man alone. You are 15 and you don't know anything about love/ sex or men. You WILL regret going any further with this man, because all he's going to do is take your virginity and make some excuse as to why he can't come see you anymore. Don't fall for it. He's a bad person for the simple fact that he's 20 and screwing with a 15 yr old LITTLE GIRL. Don't make the mistake of thinking you're an adult and more mature than other 15 yr olds just because a 20 yr old pediphile is showing you some attention. Don't return his calls anymore and tell him that if he persues you anymore..you'll call the cops. See how fast he leaves you alone.
     
  4. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,647
    Likes Received:
    363
    Occupation:
    Leader-Student-Teacher
    Location:
    Everywhere
    Ratings:
    +367
    :lol: .....................................................it's not very funny, simply because we are dealing with one of our youths, but the way you said that cracks me up. On another note, you are right; I simply just don't want my younger sistah to get hurt.

    CD
     
  5. miss-no-love

    miss-no-love Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2004
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    I think that you got alot of time to find your prince charming, I mean your only 15yrs old. Then the problem is that yall don't live no where near eachother so I don't see how yall can form any knd of relationship. I think that it's fine for yall to be friends cause it' s obvious that you like him. Just follow your heart young one.


    When you look in the mirror what you see may not be yourself
     
  6. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2004
    Messages:
    3,756
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +34
    Please don't follow your heart at 15 yrs old. That's why you're confused now. Use your brain. You know that a 20 yr old is too old for you. He's risking jail time just kissing you and touching you, listen to that. Just try and be smart and honest about it. What good will come out of a minor having a long distance relationship with a grown man? If you guys have sex what then? What's the chances this man will find you mentally interesting at 15 yrs old? That's no slam on you, but you guys are in two different worlds right now. There's nothing you can do for him but give him some illegal sex. That's all. If he's willing to have something with you...that's a red flag. He should have no interest in you at all. I think maybe it's more normal for you to find him attractive, but he should not entertain the thought of having any type of sex with a 15 yr old girl. That's just wrong on so many levels.
     
  7. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2002
    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    182
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Economist
    Location:
    Detroit, MI
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +236
    I totally agree.

    peace
     
  8. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2003
    Messages:
    1,630
    Likes Received:
    38
    Ratings:
    +39
    It is important that you listen, so first of all, I’m not going to try, to define how mentally or physically mature you believe yourself to be, at 15. But one thing, that has been said already, that I’m definitely sure of, believe it or not, Sister Elise …if this 20 year old has already touched or kissed you, he has already broken the law!

    It doesn’t have to be actual sex, to be considered sexual!

    I know the way you view this, is in conflict with what you are hearing, but younger-Sister Elise, you came here for mature advise, from those with experience in life and also know something about the legal aspects of what you are involved in.

    Just think, in three more years or less, you will reach the first level of adulthood and should be on your way to college. :) You will be able to handle situations like this with a new and different state of mind and maturity…basically it will be a whole different question and a whole different set of circumstances. Don’t blow it now! 18 is just a few years away…you’ll be having your 18th birthday before you know it. Take your time!


    Peace and Love, :)

    Brother Sun Ship:cool:
     
  9. ashley87

    ashley87 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2005
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    18
    Ratings:
    +18
    i'm sorry but i think that this guy is not honest. i know it is not funny for you but i think that if he plays two games. and you have to be very sure that you love him . first, think about your school and your family. there are the most important for the moment.
     
  10. Lloyd

    Lloyd Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 29, 2004
    Messages:
    414
    Likes Received:
    3
    Ratings:
    +4
    Sis...

    Let me respond to you honestly:I think this boy deeply respect you!To know if he loves you or not,do you best to taste his lips with a sweet kiss!It's something that doesn't lie in a relationship.You will feel love or not,that will be your proof.
    I'm 20 too and i know what i'm talking about
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - need advice please
  1. kenji
    Replies:
    10
    Views:
    1,143
  2. Westcoastbound
    Replies:
    81
    Views:
    7,844
  3. hurtbroken
    Replies:
    7
    Views:
    7,754
  4. Christiana
    Replies:
    20
    Views:
    2,544
  5. bak
    Replies:
    10
    Views:
    1,578