Black Poetry : i need help

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by ladyventures, Feb 9, 2006.

  1. ladyventures

    ladyventures New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2006
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    i have to do this spoken work on valentines day
    its a mix between black history month and love them so i wanted to encorporate them both in my poem...can anybody add something or make it more exciting.


    Im on some other stuff
    Laughing on this cell phone
    Two three four in the morning
    Gotta get to poli sci in five hours
    Two more minutes
    Ill hang up
    No you hang up
    We both stay up
    Im on some other stuff

    Talking about black dreams
    Of reparations
    Nightmares of slavery and segregation
    Just simple deep conversation
    Im on some other stuff

    You learned your history from men on corners
    I learned mine from pages of books
    Professors and lectures
    Lectures and elders
    Compare notes
    We realize neither one of use learned enough
    Im on some other stuff

    Discussing plans for the future
    Im worried
    On your way to be a street thug
    On my way to be a lawyer
    ask you to consider a change
    promises that you will think it over
    Im on some other stuff

    I see you
    More than the common thug
    See me
    More than the educated sister
    They see us
    They see failure
    Figure that we
    Are on that other stuff

    Tell me your thoughts
    Your concerns
    Death
    murder
    them hurting me
    My concerns
    failure
    sadness
    you leaving me
    hardly understand what you see in me
    you telling me the exact same thing
    wont work if you stay
    wont let you leave
    other stuff
    other stuff
    other stuff

    they tell me let you go
    tell you let me be
    wont work if I stay
    you wont let me leave
    six months and fourteen days later
    you are still here with me
    and we
    are deep in that other stuff
    cant get enough
    addicted to love
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    let me first welcome you in
    welcome to destee.com poetic playground
    welcome to the house of peace and respect
    welcome from above as i bless this some love

    surely you said all that's needed to be
    that hit history and clash with lovin endearment
    nothing more need to be added great poetic twist.

    welcome within Ladyventures
     
  3. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,965
    Likes Received:
    11
    Occupation:
    Pos Technical Support
    Location:
    Windy City
    Ratings:
    +12
    Welcome Sister Ladyventures
    Usually I would be quick
    To jump on a post and make a change
    In my mind but this isnt the area to do it
    Yet this is hot for real
    It really doesnt need to be changed
    Where are you reading this at???
     
  4. skrybble7

    skrybble7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    I agree wit' Rich and Tant!
    You said it all. Nice flow.
     
  5. Prizefighter16

    Prizefighter16 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2004
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    18
    Ratings:
    +18
    WEll first and foremost welcome to desteee...


    Gyrl nothin else needs to be added to that poem, it was absolutely fiyah...
    i can imagine it as spoken word...i mean u have a lot of power in what u wrote...:great:


    Bless

    Word from MzSoulll

    :cool:
     
  6. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2005
    Messages:
    3,872
    Likes Received:
    134
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    working to own my plus size empire.....
    Location:
    I'm a Georgia Peach!!!!
    Ratings:
    +135
    this was totally good gurl keep it like this. flo on poet.
     
  7. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,527
    Likes Received:
    36
    Ratings:
    +38
    Nice and very real poet!
    I've lived this!
    Enjoyed very much!:heart: :heart: :heart:
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - need help
  1. golmash
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    303
  2. blazejay
    Replies:
    17
    Views:
    578
  3. Heather
    Replies:
    71
    Views:
    2,554
  4. chuck
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    305
  5. G Ali
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    404