Black Women : I NEED HELP: LOST


Sep 24, 2005
I'm a 27 year old female, and I'm in a very dark place in my life right now. I think that things have finally mounted on my spirit and I'm close to breaking. I suppose it has alot to do with my past: When I was younger, around 17, I started to work in a bikini club to make money because I had a few bills and I didn't want to ask my parents for money because they were struggling. We had just sold our house and moved to apartments to get on our feet. I managed to pay all my bills, and to complete college. My family and myself winded up staying in apartments for longer than anticipated, and when I finished college I decided to start my own business to help with monetary obligations, and move us out of apartments because I had good credit. My father did help with my business and it became successful. A few years later I bought a beautiful home, and told my parents that they could have this home and the business if they'd just get along ( I suppose I thought that they fought all the time while I was growing up because of money issues, and I would rectify that situation with my help!), at that time I was 23. I planned to go back to college to obtain a second degree and finally focus on my life and getting a home of my own, however as I was attending school, everything started to change: My dad start having an affair, and ran my business in the ground!! My dad moved out and I took a financial blow. My credit was destroyed, and in order to pay bills, I started dancing again!! My life has been a cycle of pain. I don't really have anyone to talk to. I feel alone and wore out.Currently, things have gotten better, and my business is doing good thanks to God. My dad and mom are finally cordial even though they're apart. I no longer live at home, however, my mom has the house which is fine, and I have another smaller place. Things are still rocky: A couple months ago, my father was arrested, and that nearly killed me. I started usind drugs to ease the pain, but they just make me more depressed. I'm so sad and feel lost. I don't even know where to begin to fix things. I have an okay life financially (now), but none of it matters because I feel empty. Can someone please give me advice


Well-Known Member
Feb 1, 2005
StreetNationEarth: Seattle
The Meek !Shall! Inherit the Earth.
looks like the only place you'll find peace is internally!!

it's commendable that you would do so much to help hold your family together! but everybody is ultimately only responsible for themselves. grab YOU! be YOU! you've got good heart; put it to work for YOU!

ain't gonna lecture about the drugs; you do seem to recognize that potential trap.

almost sounds like the "empty nest" syndrome in reverse. mom and dad have sense enough to know what they are doing, and the possible consequences. yeah, it hurts; but as you've experienced, you can't hold their hand all the time. and even when you just hand it to them, or, maybe, especially when you just hand it to them, sometimes it just ain't enough.

it's a tough one!! remember that you did put the business together; you did buy the house; you have managed to maintain your space!! make sure you maintain YOU!!

Strength, Peace and Good Energies to YOU!! You can do it again; never doubt or forget that!!


going above and beyond
Jun 18, 2004
north philly ghetto
retired computer geek
you should find a therapist to talk to.........

just looking at what you say it seems as if you are the adult and your parents are the children.
isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

all the dancers i know blow all the money that they make.
if you can dance and save the cash, you should be able to do something for yourself.

you need to stop worrying about everybody else and take care of you.


Lyon King Admin.
Mar 21, 2001
welcome faith01 to
surely deep within you already know your worth and no one can pose advice you need
fully but i think you should seek some therapy and understand that you are worthy even
in the depth of struggling or how you rise , somehow you got side tracked in belief but knows
the different of right and wrong , do you and become clear with self first ...Try prayer and hold
faith surely things will change what you asking you already know the answers too.


Well-Known Member
Apr 22, 2003
Welcome to the forum Sister faith!

I'm sure you will receive lots of great advice to help you through these tough times.

I understand how you may be feeling right now; we all go through emotional hardships one time or another. First Sister, you must dig deeper into the pain and emotions. Remember the first time you ever felt hurt and disappointed. Ask yourself, why did it hurt you so. Get down to the root of it. Out of all the emotions we feel, in reality there are only two: Love and Fear. These two are the root of all our emotional bliss.

Then you must understand things happens sometimes, the only person you are responsible for is you. You can not expect people to do things the way you want them. If they happen to work with your program, it was their choice alone to do so. Life experiences are present to help us grow. Use this experience move forward. Find the things you,ve learned most about yourself. Evaluate them. If it was something that you didn't like, change that.

Most important of all, learn to love yourself more. You are wonderful! Everything you desire, you deserve. I know life don't always seem like peaches and cream, but on the real , life is everything we make it out to be. choose only the best for you and go for it.

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