i need advice

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by shyberry379, Jul 15, 2005.

  1. shyberry379

    shyberry379 Member MEMBER

    May 6, 2005
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    i go with this boy named shaun, we dont never really talk on the phone or see each other because he lives on a different side of town. When i do go on that side of town i dont like to stop by and see him because all he wants to do is have sex and im not ready. I have a friend thats trying to b more that a friend, he wanna make me wifey. I talked to him and he said i should dead shaun and b with him. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

    Im september i might b leavin to move to NC. My friend that wants to get with me doesnt want me to go because he wants us 2 b 2gether, but im better off down there because i dont think i would get in as much trouble down there. I wanna b with him tho, he said he would help to keep me outta trouble( HE SAID)


    and by the way im still young(14) so plz preach a lil somethin somethin 2 a sista

  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    United States
    Jan 22, 2001
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    Hello and Welcome Sister ShyBerry !!! ... :wave:

    Bless your sweet heart, you're just a baby, baby!!!! Oh Sister, i know you probably don't want to hear me saying that you are just a baby, but you are just a baby! So young. 14 years old is just a baby! Your body hasn't even finished growing properly! Just 14 sweet young years on this Earth! You are new to the Earth! You are like a tiny little bud just breaking through the Earth's surface, the beautiful flower you are going to become, has yet to happen! It breaks my heart to hear you talking of thinking of having sex with ANY body!


    Even no matter that you might be getting all excited when he touches you and stuff, and even though lots of your friends may have already done it, or are thinking of doing it ... YOU BE THE ONE THAT DOESN'T DO IT !!!! ... Gosh, i don't know if you are even still a virgin, but that doesn't matter ... whether you are or aren't ... if you haven't done it, don't ... and if you have, don't do it anymore!

    Having sex adds so much energy to a friendship / relationship, that requires a certain amount of maturity to handle properly ... and even with the maturity / years it can be very hard! You simply are not there yet baby. You will get there. It is coming. It will be yours. It's just not suppose to be yours right now.

    This is a choice that you can make. You can say ... i'm not gonna do it, and stand by that. Begin to focus on your future, your life. You're just a baby!

    Have you thought about college yet? What kind of grades are you getting in school? What do you want to be or do when you become a young adult? Are you making choices now, that will get you there? Tell me about them please.

    You sound like a very mature young lady, very on top of her game! :wink:

    Use that to your benefit, make it count Sister. Don't let anyone cheat you out of the great future that is yours. Having babies will only hinder that! It will make life so much harder, and the only way to get pregnant is to have sex ... so don't do it! Not to mention the diseases! Oh my gosh! Don't let anyone dump their bodily fluids into your body! Love and respect yourself young Sister!

    I know i've gone on and on, but that's because you're so young!

    You're just a baby !!! :love:

    Who is in NC ... Family ... ?? Will your parent(s) be going with you?

    I think you should do whatever protects you from trouble ... and this young man trying to get your stuff ... cannot and will not take care of you for any great length of time ... and even if he could ... you don't want that. You want to take care of yourself! Don't begin your life by depending on someone else (other than your Family) to care for you.

    Bless your sweet heart! You sound quite wise! I'm praying that you have the strength to do what's best for YOU!

    Thanks for letting me into your life.

    Much Love and Peace.


  3. Deepvoice

    Deepvoice Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Apr 16, 2005
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    It sounds like these two dudes are trying to run game on you. If you were my little sister I would definitely let them no where to up off of you.
  4. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    United States
    Dec 15, 2002
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    Detroit, MI
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    WELCOME....WELCOME...WELCOME TO DESTEE.COM. Hey, lil Sis, I'm glad you've decided to make this place your home. Thanks for sharing a part of you with us. We will do the same for you.

    Please...please...pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee listen to what Destee is saying. I know that you may be getting a lot of attention from these two guys...and one or both of them may be a little older than you are. But, nevertheless, you should do what's best for you...and sex....right now...IS NOT WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU. Take your time. Family means EVERYTHING. Stay with them...please do not run off with some guy just because he wants to marry you. You have enough time for that. What does he know about you? Ask him what is your favorite color, your favorite book? Ask him what foods do you like the most. Ask him what do you truly love to do that brings you so much joy. If he doesn't know the answers to these questions, then don't have sex with him because he doesn't know you...for you and only you. He may get a few questions right but that's NOT good enough. You have a lot of time for sex in the future. As Destee stated, what about your grades? What do you want to be when you get older? Which college would you like to attend? There is so much more for you to see and do and it can't be done in your neighborhood. There is a time for everything. Please make the right choices now so that you can enjoy your time in the sun doing things you've never done before and going places you've never been before and loving it.

    Education is very important in order for you to take care of yourself. Never be DEPEDENT. Work hard in school so that you can be INDEPENDENT of others.

    I love you lil Sis. Do what's right for you. Hold off on the sex. If he respects you, he will understand and not pressure you for it.

    Take care of yourself.


  5. sonnee01

    sonnee01 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    May 25, 2005
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    Hi there Shyberry379,

    Thank u so much for sharing with the family. What sister Destee and the other wisdom that has already been shared thus far is worth is weight in gold. But if it’s okay with u I will like to add.

    Shyberry379, the gift that u have should not be taken lightly. The young men that are trying to get u to share your gift with them…. is not a good thing. Having sex for the 1st time and thereafter is like a covenant/strong bond. When u x-change bodily fluids with some1 u are allowing that person to become a part of u and u a part of them. That’s heavy!

    Now no-one ever took time to explain it to me this way, but just think about it for a min.

    Having sex with some1 should be an awesome experience, one that you should want to share with your husband. And just as it was mentioned earlier, the young man should know quite a few things about you, and you should know quite a few things about him. Also, not to mention…if you hold off you will be different from all the other girls that are just serving themselves on a platter to the young men. What would make you any different? Do you think that they would love you more then the other girls? If so why? What are you doing different from them? If you do what they are doing, in his mind all he wants to do is “Hit it & quit it” Continue to separate yourself from the rest. That is what makes you special. See, the chase the guy is on right about now is how this game of life is played. Unfortunately too many young ladies are allowing themselves to get caught… and I might add …on purpose. They think that the youngman will love them once they allow him to deposit his bodily fluids in them, and that is a negative, cuz, at the end of the day, if not before the end of the day, old boy will be at it again….seeing that he has no respect for himself or the young ladies he is exchanging with.

    We are speaking this strongly because we know the positives and the negatives that can come from such an experience. I wish there was a forum like this when I was 14yrs old, as no told me anything, so I thought I was doing the right thing when I was 16yrs, I thought the young man would love men and we would be together forever, well…..that did not happen. I could not tell you right now where the dude is. He got what he wanted, and that was that.

    But you know what? I learned from that experience and see that is one thing about life, it is the best teacher. Experiences will most definitely teach you, that is, if you are teachable. So my dear lil sister, I hope you are teachable. You definitely sound like you are, so please make the right choices in life concerning sex, education, and who u choose to be your husband. And the good thing about marriage…..the marriage be is undefiled. How bout that!!!!!!! :hearts3:

    I know it seems like, and I would like to stress “seems like” every1 is having sex, but trust me….everyone is not doing it. Save yourself for your husband, and trust me it will be a GREAT thing when u exchange with YOUR HUSBAND!!!!!!

    Much Love….