Black Poetry : i need a metaphor for this one!

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by sahara heart, Oct 28, 2004.

  1. sahara heart

    sahara heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sittting a t the hair salon
    head bobbing from all sides
    as i get my hair done...

    suddenly the air thickens
    with a scent so familiar to me
    i close my eyes, inhale once
    and there it is
    the scent, the aroma, the essence, the being
    of you!

    picturesque visions fill my mind
    and although i havent exhaled yet,
    I breathe with ease in the world i'm in
    Dont want to open my eyes because
    I know you won't be there
    when i open them

    you only come along once in a while
    when things like this bring you by
    today it was a simple wiff of a scent
    tomorrow it might be
    the taste of a mango, the sight of a rainbow
    who knows?

    But you still wont be there when i open my eyes
    You still wont be there when i exhale....

    SO... (exhale, opening my eyes)
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    ahhh !!! i feel this moving me .
    very nice write sista
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The way you gently described the hunger, the yearning for that which you once had, while just living your life as it is....I liked the way you flowed with this.
     
  4. MzMelanie2u2

    MzMelanie2u2 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    NICE...!

    "AWWWE MANNNN"...why did ya have to exhale..?..lol..I was hopin for more of that imagery, cuz that was off the hook! Its as if i can smell the solon arromas..lol..this was an awsome piece...Keep Em Comin gurl...1 :ilu: :luv: :ilu: :luv:
     
  5. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Smell is the most powerful memory provoker for me - I really feel you in this nice flow.
     
  6. sahara heart

    sahara heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks for the love poets! MzMelanie, i couldnt hold my breath THAT long. lol. although i soooo wanted to savor the moment. one luv to u ALL!
     
  7. Ireadastory

    Ireadastory Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    oooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeee! Ain't nothin like the smell of a man! I was closing my eyes too! I still haven't opened them am I spelling correctly? Feelin this one. Thank ya girl! great drop! flow on!!!!
     
  8. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    sometimes that scent of that one is powerful and comes by every now and then..feeling dis vibe nice write....Peace
    Angel
     
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