Poetry Critiques : I Just Wanna Run!!!!!

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by PurpleMoons, Feb 10, 2005.

  1. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    I wanna run
    I wanna run so far away from here
    the stench of this funky bull****
    Is altering my coherence

    Mass ejaculation
    Supremacy fornication
    raping the true seed of what it means to be free

    I wanna run!
    I wanna plant my feet in mother earth
    and sprint my *** right on outta here
    away from the mental strife
    away from political knives
    that keep on stabbing me repetitiously

    I wanna run
    I wanna run so fast that I rewrite scientific physiology
    shatter technology, reverse the lingo of psychology
    I'll be a Universal enima laced in potent stemina
    To shake this nation back to its proper rotation
    Are you feelin meh?

    I wanna run!
    I wanna run so swift that my feet no longer touch base
    soar past some gazelles in a race
    until I touch the nebula in space
    with no hesitation in my pace

    And if anyone ask you whats going on
    you just tell them I felt like running

    But you and I no, that this ain't gonna happen, Right?
    So ***** it!.................I'll stay and fight!
    But I can't stop thinking about how much I wanna run!

    How much... I just wanna... run home!!!
     
  2. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Running Away...

    This poem's social commentary elevates its importance. As a reaction to a less than perfect state of affairs, it is runninig away, a most appropriate statement. Its champion, the author, chooses to stand her ground and fight the powers that be. I celebrate the day that this poem was written. It does not strive for perfection, but holds truth to the litmus test of conciousness. :zipit:
     
  3. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can't see one thing that needs changing, wonderful piece.
     
  4. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Thank you 1Poet and QueenTs! Yall sure I don't need to change something?
     
  5. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think that it expresses what you are saying to a "T".
     
  6. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I FELT LIKE THAT TOO...WISH I HAD THE SKILLS AT THAT TIME TO LAY IT OUT LIKE YOU DID. GUESS WHAT? YOU REALLY FELT THAT....AND IN MY OWN LITTLE MIND, I CAN ALMOST PUT MY FINGER ON WHERE THAT CAME FROM. :) .....that feeling is just the beginning, but it'll get better. GOOD WORK !!![/COLOR]
     
  7. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    ok...i can feel this piece right here...i think we all feel this way at one point or another...100 miles and running fo sho...this is another poem i would not change...the rhythm and pace was great along with the message conveyed...one day...none of us will have to run...word...thanks for droppin this gem over here purple

    one love
    khasm
     
  8. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey Sister Purple i see ya made it....

    this peice was awesome and it was felt indeed i dont see anything to change it is awesome just the way it is!!!!!
    Peace
    Angel
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    let me say awesome and a perfect hit to any publisher
    well written and pose'd sista ......
     
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