Black Poetry : I have changed so much

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by UniqueOne, Apr 21, 2003.

  1. UniqueOne

    UniqueOne Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Apr 14, 2003
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    I have changed so much over this period of time
    Until when I look in this mirror I wonder if the reflection is mine
    I don’t think I am who I use to be
    The person I am now is a different me
    Someone I think I didn’t know I would become
    It’s like my mind and body is numb
    Things that happen have no impact on me and how I feel
    It like to me nothing seems to be real
    It’s like I am looking at how I could be
    Not should be
    Lost I guess you can say
    But should I stay in this new mold that I have shaped for my self
    What was I thinking when I was sculpting
    Based on me or people and how they have felt
    About the way I do the things I do in my life
    Is it right for me to change over night
    Or is this just a temporary thing
    That doesn’t mean that this is how I am now
    How do I figure this all out
    Is there someone that can explain this confusion
    Sometimes I wish it were all just a illusion
    And I could go back and change the choices I have made in this time in my life
    Which me exactly am I trying to fight
    Am I fighting be cause I don’t want to be wrong
    Maybe I want to believe that this way I can finally I can be strong
    Maybe I have been searching so long for a solution to my problems
    That when I get close I don’t want to find out that I’m not there
    Should I care if there are doubts in my mind about the way I think
    If I know that something should be one way why do I go the other
    Seems that the path is never straight
    Why do I now almost hate things that use to mean so much
    It’s like I have been given a true taste of reality
    Will my reaction to what I have discovered lead to fatality
    So many things have changed inside
    Things I continue to not confide in a single soul
    Things that I keep and ponder on every night that I close my eyes
    Only to find my self-awaking in fear of the next adventure life will send
    So unsure about what I believe and how I feel
    When I stop and look at myself it gives me chills
    Two people the same yet so different but forced to be one
    Being me has never been fun
    Yet I have to work with what I have and deal
    But steal so many questions unanswered
    So many things unsaid
    To much information being feed
    With out the time to take all of it in
    So what can I do to make others help send me in the right direction
    But how do I know if their right
    What if they’re not fighting my fight to help me
    Always considering the possibilities
    So many things that I have grown to love that I rather not let go
    So many things I have lost that I most gain again
    Yet can the two correspond with one another
    Or will they never go together
    Pro and cons
    I have begun to find
    Some things I have gain in my life recently that help me so much as person help me move on in this life
    Yet things come along that cause me strife
    On the other hand things that I have lost I know I really need yet only somewhat want
    See I don’t know I can’t say some what because I have no idea how much
    They say needs are more important then wants in life
    Always do what is feels right to you
    Then I really don’t know what I want to do
    And I get back confused

    Are all my tears in vain
    Should I be ashamed
    Of who I chose to be
    Or am I forced to be how I am
    Should I listen more or less to my family
    So many things I want to do before I die
    So many things I know I want to try
    Singing and acting maybe write a book

    If I don’t then it’s their advice I would have chosen to take
    But my voice is me and so is acting
    So should I not be myself to please someone else
    Is it right
    To stop fighting for who I am because of someone else’s thoughts
    Some things got to give
    I can’t continue to live this way
    Sad be cause someone thinks me singing isn’t okay
    Hiding what I have who I am so that so one else can be pleased
    While I live in misery
    Maybe it’s all in my mind
    And I’m just wasting my time
    Sitting here thinking that some things is terribly
    Wrong with me
    I mean there couldn’t be anything wrong with wanting to sing
    To express my self through song
    How is that going in the wrong direction
    Or maybe I’m looking at this all wrong
    Maybe I need to get a hold of myself and see what’s going on
    Around me right in front of my eyes
    Is this a trap in disguise

    Why do I get so angry and then take it out on me
    Is it all my fault that I am so unhappy
    Or is this just my excuse for my faults
    Wish I could sort out all my thoughts
    Then maybe I can come to a conclusion
    And get rid of this massive confusion
    So I really not have any friends
    Or is there one friend that I know I should have that I don’t
    How do I get the things that I want
    Before it’s to late
    I’m tried of having to wait for my dreams to come true
    There has to be something that I can do
    So misunderstood and left out in so many things
    What does this life mean
    Is there a reason for me to smile
    I’m no longer a little child
    I’m fully aware about what’s going on
    I do know when some things wrong
    Especially if it’s wit me
    So don’t try to fool me say oh everythings okay
    I know things that go on today
    I know facts and issues
    So you can stop treating me like life is new
    To me
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    United States
    Mar 21, 2001
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    BUSINESS owner
    +4,174 / -2
    feeling u here
  3. sarcasm4eva

    sarcasm4eva Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Apr 19, 2003
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    ****......i feel ur pain.......its called growin pains.........please urself first, dont worry bout others.......keep ya head up....1 {givin u a hug} :)