I am 18 years old and I work at the public library in my home town. I meet this guy at the library and he is 25 years old. We hit it off really well and the other day I texted him and said that I am glad he is not the type to play games, cause I reallly hate guys who play games. Games are for kids. So he texted back that my friendship is too valuable for him to play games. I want to be more than his friend though, and I texted to him that I wanted to be more than his friend. He brings out a different side of me. I feel so happy when I am with him. What should I do? He has a good job, and we have so much fun together. I haven't had happiness like this in a long time.
I Have a Relationship Problem
- Thread starter DestinyLove222
- Start date
- Replies 6
- Views 2K
In a few years, a 7 year gap won't mean much. But now...?
Well Sister DestinyLove222, its obvious you just came of age to even be considering a relationship with a 25-year-old male. But let’s continue toward the issue you’re going to face, because you are at the first level of adulthood and theirs no turning back.
If this guy is making you feel this wonderful already, I don’t think anybody’s comments here, are going to keep you from investigating this brother even more. But these are the things you must understand. The fact that he’s 25 and established with (as you say) a “good job”, what interest will he have in a eighteen year old female outside of a sexual relationship?
Yes there will probably be lots of fun, excitement, learning and wonderful dialogue, but at the end of the day, a 25 year old man is looking at 18 year old female for only one thing; Sex!
For a male to put himself in that position at twenty-five, he's maybe either full of game (secretly) or very naive himself, for manytimes it’s hard for a male to be always honest with himself at 25, let alone his intentions with young and nubile 18 year old female. He maybe feeding on your innocence, just as you are feeding on his maturity. And I wonder if he is as mature as you think he is? (just wondering..)
If you’re only 18, it would seems you’re not too long out of high school. Again I ask, what does an 18-year-old high school grad with a job at the local library has to offer to a suppossedly mature 25-year-old somewhat established male? ...and I'm not trying to insult your intelligence or belittle you.
Now I know there is sometimes a maturity gap between many males and very intelligent females in your age bracket, but you must be realistic. If you’re not mature enough to handle a "short-term relationship" based on some similar interest and convenience, than heartbreak might be right around the corner. I just hope you’re spending just as much energy on developing your own future (like college or other training) as you are pondering a relationship with a man 7 years older than you. The gap in years is not such a big deal when you get older, as they are when you’re 18, so don’t try to reason your choice away by looking at some older adults you know. Don’t worry; you’ll eventually see how different you’ll see the world at 25, compared to where you are now.
But I’m just trying to get you to think, because if you’re old enough to go to war and vote, than you’re old enough to start thinking like an adult. Some of the sisters here will give you some further first hand knowledge of what you should do.
Peace,
Brother Sun Ship
PS...would you consider dating a 18 year old male, when you turn 25? ...just something to think about...
Well Sister DestinyLove222, its obvious you just came of age to even be considering a relationship with a 25-year-old male. But let’s continue toward the issue you’re going to face, because you are at the first level of adulthood and theirs no turning back.
If this guy is making you feel this wonderful already, I don’t think anybody’s comments here, are going to keep you from investigating this brother even more. But these are the things you must understand. The fact that he’s 25 and established with (as you say) a “good job”, what interest will he have in a eighteen year old female outside of a sexual relationship?
Yes there will probably be lots of fun, excitement, learning and wonderful dialogue, but at the end of the day, a 25 year old man is looking at 18 year old female for only one thing; Sex!
For a male to put himself in that position at twenty-five, he's maybe either full of game (secretly) or very naive himself, for manytimes it’s hard for a male to be always honest with himself at 25, let alone his intentions with young and nubile 18 year old female. He maybe feeding on your innocence, just as you are feeding on his maturity. And I wonder if he is as mature as you think he is? (just wondering..)
If you’re only 18, it would seems you’re not too long out of high school. Again I ask, what does an 18-year-old high school grad with a job at the local library has to offer to a suppossedly mature 25-year-old somewhat established male? ...and I'm not trying to insult your intelligence or belittle you.
Now I know there is sometimes a maturity gap between many males and very intelligent females in your age bracket, but you must be realistic. If you’re not mature enough to handle a "short-term relationship" based on some similar interest and convenience, than heartbreak might be right around the corner. I just hope you’re spending just as much energy on developing your own future (like college or other training) as you are pondering a relationship with a man 7 years older than you. The gap in years is not such a big deal when you get older, as they are when you’re 18, so don’t try to reason your choice away by looking at some older adults you know. Don’t worry; you’ll eventually see how different you’ll see the world at 25, compared to where you are now.
But I’m just trying to get you to think, because if you’re old enough to go to war and vote, than you’re old enough to start thinking like an adult. Some of the sisters here will give you some further first hand knowledge of what you should do.
Peace,
Brother Sun Ship
PS...would you consider dating a 18 year old male, when you turn 25? ...just something to think about...
- Nov 11, 2004
- 105
- 1
I think that you should give it a try ma.
DestinyLove222 said:
Hello DestinyLove ...
I have to agree with Brother Sun Ship, i think this is too big of a gap, considering your current ages.
At 18, you should be thinking about college, or your future life. Are you going to college? You work at the library, that is a good place to work, especially if you're going to college!
The next few years in your life, is really the time to be laying the foundation for the rest of your life. You can have your life set, if you focus right now, and make good decisions ... but you must remain focused!
I believe the number one thing that keeps young girls from focusing, is boys. Now, it's not quite so bad if the boy is your own age, focused on the same things you are ... but a whole grown man ... 25 years old?!! No Sister, don't let him mess up your life, using you as some play toy ... 'cause you're really just a baby to him, or should be!
Why is he having to deal with 18 year olds? Why can't he get someone his own age? Is he too immature for women his own age, or do they too easily recognize his pitiful game ... 'cause it is game Sister, don't think otherwise for a minute ... game that is much easier passed off on a young, naive 18 year old than a woman his own age!!
Something is wrong with him that he is pursing you.
Not that you couldn't be all that and then some, don't misunderstand me.
But a man his age, that truly cares about you, your future, and the choices you make in your life, will not to try get with you ... but he would be trying to protect you from men his age!
I know it's hard these days, being 18, but Sister ... if you can, use this time to focus on you and your life and your goals ... don't let any man be central to your life right now, unless it is your Father or Brother!
25 year old males and 18 year old females = Single Parent Mommas, far too often.
Don't fall in the trap ... 'cause it is a trap.
You can say, "Destee told me!"
Destee
... please make yourself at home ... 