Black Poetry : I do MATTER

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by FINDLOVEINME, Sep 16, 2004.

  1. FINDLOVEINME

    FINDLOVEINME Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dam#,
    not again,
    bullsh1t landing in my face, making me feel totally displace
    when did I begin not to matter to you?

    yesterday day I told you, my husband, that I felt like a piece of sh1t

    I explained to you, that I no longer felt like the confident black woman that I use to be, the me that radiated inner and outer beauty
    in return since you couldn't understand my plight, you told me that all I do is constantly complain and bitc#, that was how you summed up my feelings, than you looked at me like what in the he!! I expect you to do

    as usual
    nothing.

    I was not looking for sympathy, from you,
    I know my place and I dare not look for you to care,
    I have to remember that you once told me that you are not my friend and I am just your wife

    I don't know why I felt compel to justify my thoughts to you,
    somehow hoping you would look at me instead of looking through me and pass me,
    just once,
    maybe I thought that you would see that I need to find me again, be me again, live me again and love me again,
    without worrying about the bills, without worrying about you, being mad at me for being a woman, better yet your wife

    but here again I stand today in front of you
    down to two pair of torn over worn pants,
    hair thinning and matting to my head like wool,
    under garment that have expired
    and shoes that no longer can find their soles,

    did you ever stop to think,
    how I can make 2 pair of pants work a five day work week

    how can you say you love me, when you look like you're auditioning for the next American male top model,
    clean cut, smelling good, looking good,

    dam#,

    yet I walk out into the world, knowing all that I am good for is making sure that I pay the bills on time, especially the ones in your name, unless there's hell for me to pay

    you say you always desire me, when is that after the Internet porn, because you don't even know me and I no longer recognize the me I use to be or should be, with you,

    I would say that I hate you, totally resent you, but I don't, I am almost numb to you
    because I know now, that I gave up too much of myself to you, before you was worthy of me,
    and you willingly took all of me, even when I had nothing else to give,
    you still found a way to strip me of my pride and dignity, and humble me to your likings

    Sometimes I wish I could cry, but my eyes are to tired to form the tears,
    yet my soul screams out for mercy and my heart quietly prays for God to remove me from my personal he11,
    remove me from you
    and lead me back to the me that I need to be again.

    God I am more than just a pay check or a bill payer or my husband fool,

    please just let me experience what it feels like to smell the roses,
    I want to know how it feel to be a lady again, how it feels to be beautiful again, but most of all,
    how it feels matter to myself again.
    because I do Matter
     
  2. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, you do matter. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in life we lose ourselves. And finding yourself again certainly does matter. I feel ya poet. Very emotive drop.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    indeed your worth matters // we sometime fine self deep into what
    makes our mate standout til we forget we need the same treatment
    i feel u so openly on this here.
     
  4. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    you do matter, as watz said...
    You can't keep aiding others without aiding self..
    emotional flow ..
     
  5. FINDLOVEINME

    FINDLOVEINME Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks so much for your comfort, much love to all
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    likewise .....most welcome keep flowin
     
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