Black Poetry : I Didn't Put In...

Heartfelt

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
May 10, 2003
53
2
Nunya Bidness, New York
Occupation
Livin' and lovin' and doin' my thang
When I met you, I thought of us as first being friends
Because of the occurrences of a previous relationship, I didn't want to have my heart broken again
When you proceeded to pursue me
My mind went haywire and I couldn't believe
That what I'd hoped for was actually happening

What I'm trying to say is:
I didn't put in to have my heart broken
Over essential words that were left unspoken
I didn't put in to remember songs that you used to play for me
Or to be reminded of your son when you called me "baby"
I didn't put in to suffer and go through this mess
Now because of you my life has been full of stress
I didn't put in to have my emotions played with
With all the things I'm saying you can obviously get the gist

Time and time again I wondered what was going through your head
When you asked me to be your girl
Did you just want to get me in bed?
When I did say "yes", you demonstrated elation
Come to think of it now, I think you were primarily faking

I didn't put in to be deceived and lied to
To be subject to unwanted pain
But my love did not deny you
I didn't put in to be treated with disrespect
I now know what it feels like to be left alone due to neglect
I didn't put so much into this relationship
To be forced to the curb, beat up, and kicked
I hope you hear me because...
I didn't put in to have you run to a new love
You had engulfed my brain, so you were all I was thinking of

So many thoughts of you kissing me softly
Running your hands expertly over my body
There were so many times when I did want to get naughty
Take me to my prom, the beach, your house
Those were some of the places I did want you to escort me

I didn't put in to have my deepest desires crushed
I wanted to be with you, but I didn't want to rush
I didn't put in to have you seduced and tempted by your ex
And when you told me what happened, I wondered what would happen next
Can you believe......
That I didn't put in to have you call me names and be verbally degraded?
I told you before that addressing me as "punk" and other stupid names was something that I truly hated
I didn't put in to be teased with a love that I wanted,
To be withheld from you, thoughts of the past had me haunted
I can't help but think of the life we could've had
But your leaving me and not saying a word made me more than mad
I literally wanted to live with you and take part in caring for and raising your son
But those are past thoughts
What's done is done

I didn't put in to be excommunicated from your life
I hoped that in the future, my dreams would come true of being your wife
I really didn't put in to receive limited phone calls
Knowing you were out most of the time having a ball
I'm trying to let you know that...
I didn't put in to hear the words "I love you" from your mouth actually be fake
How much of my heart were you really going to take?
But on the real baby...
I didn't put in to reminisce about the past
Hoping, for once, that true love in my life would eternally last

I love you, but I didn't put all of me in to feel the way I do
To be in this relationship is nonsense without the presence of you
When I first saw you, I was like "WOW" because your beauty amazed me
Now, if you came back into my life
Your apologetic words wouldn't even phase me
I tried so hard to be patient during this time
What I can't get out of my head is the question of "Were you really mine?"
I just want you to know...
That I didn't put in to have my heart stomped on
Now the only love I really knew is forever gone

I really didn't put in...

August 7,11,12, 2003
 

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