Black Poetry : I can't sleep

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Jazz4u, Aug 22, 2003.

  1. Jazz4u

    Jazz4u Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i can’t sleep without hearing the rain
    interpreted morse code against my window
    Pane or is it PAIN...
    i reply by sending single codes of my own
    silent messages that devastate my wooden floor
    something like a pin drop magnify two million degrees exploding in its own message
    its hurts
    when
    i have to
    answer these questions
    where is Alex? tap tap taaappp
    he
    correction
    we
    made a mistake
    my heart flat lines every time these words are mechanically forced from my lips
    even when i take a deep breath before i answer trying to steady myself you persist in these
    puzzled stares confirming i have to explain because
    unlike you i understand what it means when i smell rain
    so i
    begin to
    struggle with
    i don’t...uh
    hate but...
    cant stay in love with...hhmmm... it all started to fall apart.. and ...after that things really
    seemed like they were working out
    until
    LIFE said
    i didn’t really understand it’s ******* lesson
    so here i am
    ranting
    upon ears that really should be listening to my heart because at some point during this
    conversation it
    stop
    BEATing
    the
    ODDs
    on
    recovering
    tap
    tap



    aight i've gotten mixed appreciation/confusion over this so let me know
     
  2. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No confusion here - this is the bomb! Love the staggered structure, which contributes to the (purposely) broken up flow. Unique and wonderful and gets your point across.
     
  3. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A righteous work in progress are we
    Mending; closer to complete-

    I LOVED IT, JAZZ
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    spaces are mended this was awesome flowin'
     
  5. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    feeling the flow
    very deep
    searching for that
    Peace
     
  6. Jazz4u

    Jazz4u Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks ppl for the replies
    it is greatly appreciated
    much love j.
     
  7. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    it beez like dat sumtimes
    cause the heart can't control da mind
    tyte piece
    peace
    khasm
     
  8. Jazz4u

    Jazz4u Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks khasm
     
  9. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wow jazz...I know the feeling
    i'm sorry you had to also
    flow on
     
  10. true love

    true love Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    very tight... lovely to say the least
     
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