Black People : I am an uncivilized Afrikan man

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Ikoro, Jul 26, 2011.

  1. Ikoro

    Ikoro Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Subtitle: I think I am losing my humanity.

    Peace fam.

    I need input, I need some opinions. I am a bit nervous on my own behalf, I think I am becoming too much like the Whites. What I mean to say is that I am afraid that I am becoming uncivilized, and that I seem to have started losing my humanity/sanity.

    But thing is, I'm not sure. I'm at odds with myself. So I'll rant a little bit here and hopefully you can pitch in.

    I live in Oslo. White privilege everywhere, nothing special.

    Some of you might have heard lately that we had a terror attack, from an insider no less. Yesterday we had a memorial type of thing, where everybody brought roses (they called it a rose-march). I didn't bring one (too symbolic, right?). At the memorial were no less than 70 000 people, PACKED. I was there with some youths, and we were all struggling to feel the 'oh, how sad' vibe so we were being a bit... unaffected, cracking jokes and such. Some guy came up on stage and started talking about something, I was bored. After 5 - 10 minutes I went home, changed and hit the gym. I was a bit worried about how insensitive I had been, and how quick I was to leave such a big, public event (that had to to with sorrow etc).

    When Cote d'Ivoire got hit with that conflict earlier this year, I was a mess. On the phone all the time, reading up on it. I was upset about it, and I was angry at mad people because nobody seemed to care. I went to a open mic to perform some poetry, but it was so dang happy-go-lucky that I wanted to puke and leave. Like, how can they be smiling and laughing when Cote d'Ivoire is burning right now?! Then I got up on stage and did some angry, pro-black, anti-whiteness poetry and they clapped and shouted. They really felt it, I said da_mn... and went home.

    But about this terror thing, happening 10 minutes from my house, I have been this way (unaffected, vexed) since I first heard of this thing on Friday... Here's list of the things that went thru my head and how I reacted when this thing happened on friday. Can I get some input on whether or not I have lost my mind to anger and hatred?

    - A Sister calls me up and tells me there has been huge explosion downtown. I'm at the gym and finish doing my cardio before I bother reacting. I start calling family and Brothers and Sisters to make sure they are alright. Then I go home, check out the news for a few minutes and start thinking...

    - Oh God, what if he (bomber) is a Person Of Color, an Afrikan or even a muslim? Then all us non-whites will be facing public harassment, everybody Middle-Eastern with a job will catch hell, people currently applying for work won't get sh_it or called for an interview, every man with a beard and woman with a hijab/niqab/burqah will be not only ostracized but likely to get attacked (verbally and/or physically). Oh man... please let him be white.

    - Then I witness the feces hiting the fan on the net (commentary fields in papers, facebook etc) where whites are talking about how the far right was right all along, that they should have closed the borders, it's the dang foreigners/muslims etc etc etd ad naseum. So I got mad nervous for our sake, especially the children that are starting school or growing up these days. They will be suffering under extreme white supremacy the next 5-10 years or so.

    -Huh? Some guy just ran to the island and started shooting up young folks? That ain't no organized terror cell... that's a suicide mission, that sound like some white people ish (Columbine anyone?). Shame about the youth, God this is terrible.... I wonder how many Afrikans and foreigners are there, I hope at least they make it out!

    - Oh, they caught the guy. He's white, thank God. Let's hope he's the same guy that bombed those buildings.

    - 80 people killed at the island? Ah man, that is just tragic. I need to find out if any are Afrikans, oh how I hope not.

    - Aw man, we lost some of ours. What a **** shame.

    - (next day at work) Why are all these white folks hugging me and crying, this is uncomfortable.

    Then on Sunday I just got more and more vexed with the general atmosphere, and I couldn't even pretend to be genuinly affected by this whole thing.

    - These stupid white people need to stop crying and making such a big deal out of this. You (Norway) just woke up, huh? You 'never thought this could happen', huh? Well, F_ck you. Because you knew that -ish could happen, you just didn't care as long as it didn't affect you. And now you want to march all over town with roses and cry in public? 'fakk outta here. Where were the roses when Haiti got hit by that quake, or even Japan what about your tears? How much did you cry or care when Cote d'Ivoire was under attack? What about hunger and war in Afrika, how many millions are dying every year? Or thousands every week? I don't hear about that! What about all the POC's you whites killed right here in Norway? Who amongst you cared enough to boicott Israel?!

    You ain't sh*t white folks.

    I'm sorry for the young folks that got caught up in that massacre, and I am sensitive to the loss of human life. But you still ain' sh*t. The first hour after the explosion downtown, when nobody had any info about who'dunnit, two Pakistani's got pulled of a bus and beat up bad by your mob because you were so sure it was the Muslim's. Several amongst us received death threats, and you were eyeing us BAD.

    But now look, it was one of yours who did it. Any blonde white men walking around with their head low, being suspected of being actively involved in terrorism, called names, stigmatized, attacked or even doubly checked at the 'random' controls at the airport? HELL NAW. Because when whitey do it, it's just a crazy individual. But when any one of us do it, it messes us all up. I hate you people, I despise you.

    Worst part is, the Progress Party has been saying the exact same thing that this lunatic who blew things up said in his Manifest. So many of you agreed with him, but now you are scratching your heads 'cause he went and killed your own kids. But you thought it was us....

    I'm still waiting for that apology, because the last few days had to be this years biggest walk of shame for some of ya'll.

    ---end rant---

    How wrong am I for this? There's nothing in our culture as Afrikans that is inhumane to the point where we don't care for human life. And I am worried that I am becoming a very bitter, black man. I only cared about the Afrikans that got caught up, and I am more interested in talking about how they was doing us wrong etc than chatting about how tragic this all is. I want to know how they are going to change themselves after this, I want to hear them talk about focusing on dialogue and combating racism in the upcoming election. That's all I want to hear. Stop crying, dam n it.

    I feel very heartless, can my pro-black fam come up in here and let me know if I am off the deep end?
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    take time and process the emotions.....
     
  3. largo

    largo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No, you are not uncivilized, loosing your humanity or off the deep end. You are just fine and are not alone in how you feel. This horror is of their own creation. You reap what you sow.
     
  4. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    no you are not!!

    if there was something wrong with you, you wouldn't be wondering if there were something wrong with you.

    feeling like "neener neener neener; it's your turn now!" is only human considering the atrocities that everybody else has gone through at the hands of these sub-evolved creatures all over the planet!

    and, no; those sick creatures will not feel a sense of group remorse over their ish now that it has hit them. hell, they'll prolly figure out some way of blaming this fools mess on somebody else!! already they talking about "he was insane!".

    the fact that you are "tripping" like this over your feelings shows you to be amongst the more civilized of the folks on this planet!! big up. high five and a big group hug for ya, ikoro!!
     
  5. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    All due respect, there is an African proverb, I heard as a child;

    Why leave the comfort and security of ones home and family, go live in a den of foxes and then complain about the smell?
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Ikoro ... i think there are many things meant to desensitize us, harden our hearts, all of that.

    The thing about that process, is while it appears you can direct it toward a select group of people, it often affects all who are around you, those you love the most, just because it is inside of you. While you'll intend to use it against others, more often than not, the ones closest to you are hurt most by it.

    It's good you're aware, for it allows you to resist it.

    Love You and Remain Forever Encouraged.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. Enki

    Enki The Evolved Amphibian STAFF

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    I'm going to chime in like a few. You are not uncivilized, I have and do feel the same way. I at one time felt as you, but came to the realization that I will react to what moves me, and that what doesn't, I won't worry about it. This bombing made me want to go to a particular site and rub it in their faces. When ever we have something big happening here in America, I know many blacks,myself included that hope the perpetrator is not black.

    I would have lost money on the Beltway Sniper being white because that was all the way white behavior. So I feel the same way.

    Peace!
     
  8. Ikoro

    Ikoro Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace everyone, and thanks for the replies.

    Alright then, I guess I'll accept this for what it is; justified callousness :D

    No, seriously. I am a rational and intellectual person, I deal with the real and I deal with how I feel on a daily basis. But I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't crazy. I'm sure if I had been in town during 9/11 I'd be hella shook.

    But this was no 9/11, though it was a tragedy. Too much foolishness happened those few hours between the explosion and they found out he was white.

    I know I ain't wrong for this, good to get that support. Sometimes I just fear that I get to Khalid Muhammad on'em, you know what I mean? I love me some Khalid man, but I can't get any love from black or brown if I start talking too much like him. But they can't stop a Brother from thinking.

    Thank you James, largo, anAfrican, Ankhur and Destee - I needed all that input.

    Meaningful validation ya'll!

    One,

    - Ikoro
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Y
    You know what Brother Ikoro ... i think many a Black Man has been taken advantage of, his anger, frustration, disgust, at the system, condition of his people, and perceived helplessness in it all ... encouraged to do the wrong thing, because he's become so desensitized by it all. There are people that would use this moment in your life, and try to funnel it in ways that helps them, but hurts you and your Family. You'd end up locked up in prison, or dead, acting on this, and your Family would forever mourn your loss ... while the 'conintelpro' type people find another frustrated Black Man and do it all over again.

    Yep ... i believe that with my whole heart ... so you be careful.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa,

    .......Brother Ikoro,

    Based on the time of the first post into the thread, I could have easily been the first to reply; but knew after reading the title that whatever it was, you were okay. Reading this only confirms my belief, largely centered around our first encounter here at Destee.com...Peace In,