Black Relationships : How young is too young?

I don't know if you ever heard of something called the "worm of envy", It is a concept that I learned about in a class I took in undergrad called voluntary simplicity. basically the whole premise of the worm of envy, is that consumerism, and advertising create eat a hole in a persons psych and that person seeks to fill it with material possession and keeping up with the "jones's" and so one can never be satisfied because the worm continues to eat and eat. furthermore, the premise of living simply, is that a) the number one consumer of all resources makes up less than 20% of the worlds population. b) to combat that one must choose to live with less, buy less, eat less, have less whilst saving all resources to proactively help other people. our project for the class was to go the whole semester without buying any material things, other than basic needs, that meant no new gadgets or clothes, or anything. Let me tell you something girl, many times I cried tears...hardest thing I ever did...I mean I didn't have to be honest about what I was consuming but I did it, and I learned exactly what society does to people. you would be shocked at the barrage of subconscious signals we see every day through advertising etc. they will use anything, sex, homosexual images, even children commercials do you see all the freaking barbie and toy commercials it is madness.

This is so interesting to me! Yes, I could always see that materialism was filling a spiritual chasm in most ppl nowadays.. but I didn't know there was a whole 'hole-theory' on the subject.

Richard Dawkins talks on something pretty similar ... Memes .. packages of information passed down societally that have as strong an effect on our psyche as genes do on our physiology. The irony of the situation is that so much money is pumped into gene research .. whereas the mere ideology of meming is still seen as kinda still a bit 'hippified' and therefore has no financial backing for research.

I have a feeling that this might change soon though... I feel as if there is a change in times coming... a shift in 'zeitgeist'. One might say we are still wrapped up in the technological era, but I feel as if spiritual empowerment might be coming back into fashion. Buzzword phrases in the workplace such as 'work/life balance' and 'multi-disciplinary agencies'. In the home .. we now have a more positive view about the benefits of yoga and pilates... you can even go to the shops and buy already feng-shui'd paint!!

Consumerism has caught on quickly to this: it's now attractive for a man to feel no way about dropping his favourite moisturiser in the shopping trolley next to his shower gel. Organic produce and fairtrade coffee n linens are now marekted much more widely than they were 10 years ago .... I'm not duped though .. I see this as yet another way of consumerism trying to fill that 'worm-hole of envy'.

So how do we fill this hole properly? I also struggled through uni .. I managed to get a 1st class psychology degree whilst i was raising a 2 year old and a 9 year old at year one & doing all the paperwork for my own divorce... but as you say .. without these experiences - I probably would not have gained one tenth of the wisdom or strength i now possess. I think your experiences have been the same, sis ... it seems to be the 'workout' you have to go through in life, that builds your strength, wisdom and love - and ultimately fills that envy-hole. Once people begin to understand this , I think they will be more willing to face life's fears in a positive fashion .... such as CHANGE! Change is crucial for spiritual enlightenment and empowerment, but today it's one of our biggest discomforts in life.

Who knows .. in 100 year's time we might be all tree-huggin, communal lovin ppl instead of today's individualistic consumer driven maniac ... hmmm ;)
great post, you know this economic recession may be a blessing in disguise it may have a lot of people reevaluating what is necessary vs. what is the all the trimmings kind of life. I for one wanted a big house farm house that I renovated, gourmet kitchen, all the amenities in life, I used to watch home and garden television, I wanted to have a huge garden, make all my sauces and jams and fruit from scratch, I wanted it all. and I really didn't think there was anything wrong in it. I wanted a lot of land so my future kids could run and play, and just be... but with the housing market and all the other things happening, I am thinking. It is hard, cause doesn't everyone have materialistic things they want? even Spiritual people? This is what got me thinking...hard. I don't want to be a slave to a huge mortgage, and to tons of bills, but doesn't it sound nice...dang. I mean if materialism and the whole keeping up with the Jones's don't control you having shouldn't be a bad thing.
but I am happy for you, your brother did the same in school except he did management and his kids are 2 and 4, which is tough, that 2 year old is a serious brat if you ask me...LOL. ok I am not ready for kids yet.. I can only imagine what a balancing act and time manager you were. I believe that you will find the mate for you, don't be surprised if he isn't exactly what you planned for. maybe he will be better.

my brother is doing what you did, only his kids are 2 and 4 and he is doing management...and he also does martial arts jujitsu, and kick boxing, hell he even spent some time in Thailand. maybe if you like Canadians I will hook YOU UP...LOL...kidding
Me I don't know, I am more into the 30 min bike class at the gym, shoot if you can keep up with them...if I don't have time I do the Sugar Ray boxing tapes lol.

Sis ... I will definately leave the 30 minute spin class to you!! I swim lots ... but hey - apart from endless housework and the odd jog to the shops (I say the odd jog, cos it's only when I think my butt looks tight ..) that's about it!! :D

I understand what you say re: the whole farmhouse thing .. My dream was always either a converted barn or a small oldy-worldy chateau in the warm orange glow of the French countryside. I often daydreamed of visiting salvage yards for antique baths, radiators and faucets etc ... sinking my teeth into renovating and finally tastefully decorating with African artefacts ... sigh ...

I'm not ashamed to say that I do the whole fruit and veg thing you talk about now ... although it's a lot of hard work .. it's kept me ... errrr.. 'sane' throughout my single years recently .. ;) You know, us spirituals are sometimes ashamed to say we want things a certain way in life. It's important to remind ourselves that getting a little of what we want out of life is still beneficial to the soul. Just that the majority have the whole thing flip-reversed and out balanced, hence we tend to shy away from materialism altogether. (my whole justification for still wanting the chateau dream

Your two-year old (neice/nephew?) comment made me smile, girl .. I wouldn't worry too much at two hon .. lol - When they won't grow out of it at 22 and 'da look' don't work any more - that's when the problem gets bigger! Still .. if the going gets tough in the future, they can always come and get some spiritual replenishment under orange blossom and sunshine @ Chez Moi -South of France ... hmmm ... does your brother do chateaux and baguette?? ;)

Peace, Sis xxxxx


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