Black Relationships : How young is too young?

You got that

When it comes 2 older women and younger men I dont see a problem with the age. Now when it's flipped, I have a serious problem with it. If a man has 10 or more years on my girls he will be instantly ran off, and it dont matter if she likes it or not. Older men usually have a different agenda in mind when they show interest in younger (10 or more yrs) women than older women do in younger men.

Just my personal feelings on that.

Spit right bruh! Might chase his rusty rump to the next state!!:great:
On Tyme .. I hear you (Sis - nice to greet you btw!),

There are loads of dynamics that make two people get on - sometimes age just falls off the checklist because other things are much more important:

For example, I really enjoy conversations surrounding the empowerment of the black community around me, and especially concerning radical issues such as the systemic oppression of black people. Other parts of my soul are enriched by growing fruit and veg - and teaching that to my children .. visiting the theatre ... debating world issues .. writing poetry and even knitting! But here's the thing ... I expect the black man I end up with to understand and appreciate all those different sides of me, and to be excited to see me grow further. He should be able to educate me further on our history and on black spiritual matters.

I am aged 34 and I have to say that black brothers around the same age (from different walks of life) cannot comprehend, appreciate or value such an eclectic interest in life. Neither are they comfortable with the fact that spirituality reigns over materlialism because it requires courage and faith that they just don't have. Thus - I foresee a much older man for me (after I enjoy a little more 'me-time' ;) ) Perhaps the problem is with my own requirements of a man ... am I too Spiritually High Maintenance :D (Feel free to answer on this subject - perhaps there is such a thing...)

Having said that, i've also travelled, and can see a major difference between Black UK men versus African, US or Caribbean men when it comes to outlooks and philosophical approaches to life ... Perhaps i'm just on the wrong side of the pond ... ;)

Peace x

well I think it could definitely work you with an older man that is...harder to find an older man, cause most are married unless you find a debonair divorcee or widower lol. As for the traveling and things yes, there does tend to be a bit of a difference in geographical regions, you could be right on that one, I found what I wanted in the US, wouldn't have found it in Canada.

as for spiritual high maintenance well lol, as long as you meet his need and he meets yours nothing wrong with being demanding. and a lot of men are materialistic because of what a consumer culture does to people.

I don't know if you ever heard of something called the "worm of envy", It is a concept that I learned about in a class I took in undergrad called voluntary simplicity. basically the whole premise of the worm of envy, is that consumerism, and advertising create eat a hole in a persons psych and that person seeks to fill it with material possession and keeping up with the "jones's" and so one can never be satisfied because the worm continues to eat and eat. furthermore, the premise of living simply, is that a) the number one consumer of all resources makes up less than 20% of the worlds population. b) to combat that one must choose to live with less, buy less, eat less, have less whilst saving all resources to proactively help other people. our project for the class was to go the whole semester without buying any material things, other than basic needs, that meant no new gadgets or clothes, or anything. Let me tell you something girl, many times I cried tears...hardest thing I ever did...I mean I didn't have to be honest about what I was consuming but I did it, and I learned exactly what society does to people. you would be shocked at the barrage of subconscious signals we see every day through advertising etc. they will use anything, sex, homosexual images, even children commercials do you see all the freaking barbie and toy commercials it is madness. so yeah I sure hope you find what you looking for matter of fact I will send positive words your way.


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