Black Poetry : HOw you want it to be Boo?

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Timmytim04, Apr 25, 2006.

  1. Timmytim04

    Timmytim04 Member MEMBER

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    How you want it Boo?

    Where she takes me is un-chartered by man,
    it’s a place
    higher than space,
    it’s at every edge of ecstasy,
    it’s my deepest desire her laying next to me,
    I hold her close so she can feel my ambition,
    She’s tougher to crack than college admissions,
    first know it’s legitimate,
    people don’t be so inconsiderate,
    a strong love between two people,
    all that’s left is family, friends and a steeple.
    For her I truly have No lust,
    I can be faithful if she can trust,
    her eyes a color only seen by Jesus,
    men don’t see all that women do to please us,
    aint nothing to small to big to let pass you,
    you want a struggle pick up a bible and read Matthew,
    I Give her just enough of everything I got,
    Because she’s everything im not,
    we strengthen each others weakness and rely on each others strength,
    we try to leave each other speechless and go to any length,
    stay in the house when it rains
    massage out all her pain,
    listen when she complains,
    if it hurts ill do my best to change,
    take all night to count each freckle and eye lash,
    and any **** she use to do that’s all in the past,
    it’s just about us now,
    never ashamed always proud
    I know it’s real when she slowly places my hand under her chin,
    and I can wipe the tears from her eyes before they begin,
    no need to mention words cuz we speak in tongues,
    no coincident are bodies have synchronized as one.
    She prays for me more than she prays for herself,
    that’s why im willing to share any material wealth,
    But sadly, I havn’t met this dream girl yet,
    but patience is a virtue
    and any girls in my past I’m sorry if I hurt you,
    but I guess im looking for something more,
    a girl to kiss me at the core,
    and “I know the sex alone aint gone keep you,
    but as my equal, that’s how must I treat you,”
    picture us like will and jada the sequel,
    now let me know if that’s how you want it to be boo.

    ANy Suggestions are welcomed...begginer here

    Begining Poet lookin for good Criticisim...anything well help
     
  2. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Timmytim04,

    Welome to Destee's

    You have a fan here. Is this one of your firsts? New to the game or not, I enjoyed this flow. Reminds me of "I Neeed Love" by LL. Flow on poet;)
     
  3. Timmytim04

    Timmytim04 Member MEMBER

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    thank you...yea it's one of my first...still needs alot of work...but thank you very much
     
  4. MyTlita

    MyTlita Active Member MEMBER

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    I must say that this is one of the nicest poems I have read. I love the way your words flowed. I am looking forwad to reading more of your work.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    welcome to destee.com poetic flowz
    welcome to the house of peace & respect
    welcome from above as i bless this piece some love

    This was tyte and written to perfection love how u versed it
    feeling the love splash and the vow to that sweet someone .
     
  6. CREOLEQUEEN

    CREOLEQUEEN Active Member MEMBER

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    WELCOME!!!! Very well done!