Black Relationships : how would u feel !?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by $$RICH$$, Aug 23, 2002.

?

how would u feel

  1. confused

    12 vote(s)
    44.4%
  2. cheated

    5 vote(s)
    18.5%
  3. lost of friendship

    6 vote(s)
    22.2%
  4. hurt

    15 vote(s)
    55.6%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    if u had a dear friend who just kicked up a relationship wit u
    and the two of u made compassionate love and a week later
    he or she tells u it was nothing but a heat of passion and dat's
    it so back off how would u feel.....:confused:
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I know a few who feels cheated yet confused left wondering
    why it had to happen anyway . if dis happen to you what
    would u say to them and can ya friendship continue after
    a relationship of a hot lustful notion !!????:confused:
     
  3. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i might very well feel all of the above hurt, confused, loss of friendship & cheated out of relationship on a different level. but there r sooooooo many variables 2 this possible scenario.

    " if u had a dear friend who just kicked up a relationship wit u
    and the two of u made compassionate love"

    1stly, f she truly is a 'dear friend', it would not b possible 4 her 2 just kick up a relationship, b/c we re already n a relationship. we re dear friends. i value my friends just as much, & sometimes more, than my luv interests. (they frequently treat me better & last longer too) 2nd. its not like i m an innocent bystander n this. last i checked, it takes 2 to tango, so, my cooperation was needed at some point. corny as it may sound, any1 i b/c romantically involved w, at this stage of my life (i.e. older) started out as a friend first 4 sure, so it is only from my friends that i attempt any romance anyway.

    mayb i m wrong, but i m thinking that both of us knew, b4 the actual luvmaking, that we were feelin something other than strict friendship. so, f 1 or both os us just got 'all hot & bothered' momentarily, & just said, hell w it, lets do it, f we r both around the same age & approximate level of maturity, we r both equally responsible 4 the consequences. i think the real problem comes when 1 feels that this changes everything & they wish 4 it 2 continue on this new, more physical plane, & the other feels that it changes nothing, or, its more like, well, i always wondered what _________ would b like n the sack, now i know.

    there is also the matter of just what the depth and length of friendship we had prior 2 the sex. n the case of some1 i d known 4 well over a decade, & been especially close to, i would expect our friendship could survive such an encounter, no matter which way it turned out. of course, i m saying all this theoretically, i ve never had it happen. i couldn t really answer the poll b/c i couldn t decide which emotion i d b feeling the strongest & b/c it would depend on the variables i mentioned & i think, many more.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Thankz Dr.Parker indeed u r on track and correct
    yet even as the two feel this bliss i've seen so many
    friendships crash on the grounds of misunderstanding
    as feeling fly east & west surely i agree with u that to
    start a relationship u must become friends but their was
    a few i know that was only friends for ova 20 years and
    like that one day one thing lead to another and it happen
    but one side walked away with no resound reason and
    asked that their be no longer any ties as friends this was
    very confusing and surely a hurted soul but why!?
    was it that she was to ashame of what happen ?
    hummm!!!
    u have some great points here
    i guess will never know til it slap us in the face
    as true friends u can mix things up and still be
    as it always was da love is tops as friends even
    if the two had sex or a mini relationship
    i feel most walk away due to shameful acts .
     
  5. LiLi

    LiLi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i had to say lost a friendship only because i know me and i'd be the one running for the hills...especially if it was in the heat of the moment and afterwards that person attached themselves to me as if suddenly after sex we'd become an intimate couple (god that sounds jacked up don't it??..lol). i've had something close to that happen...i didn't allow it to go as far as it could of, but even so i really didn't want to be around him for a period of time. is that fair? no...i don't believe so, but i felt very uncomfortable. and even after stating that i value our friendship too much as it is to delve into another area of emotions with him and listed the reasons why, he continued to push (or attempt to anyway...)so Li performed a disappearing act. we're trying to mend fences now...but i'm still a little leary of his intentions at the moment.
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    indeed it's hard to face da friendship that transformed into a
    relationship and da sex thing in a heat of da moment would be
    messed up and after that one runs away like it was an shameful
    act not many get deep as they treasures the friendship in the first
    place
     
  7. LiLi

    LiLi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i agree in theory...some people tend to be somewhat possessive even when the situation doesn't garner it...
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    yes but sometime things turn in a form of passion and
    they do see eye 2 eye and then after a heated come on
    i've seen it happen and friendship split up coz the facts
    is they can't face each other from what happen
    now is it a mind game ????
     
  9. LiLi

    LiLi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i don't think that it's a mind game...not between the two anyway. i see how it has the potential to be a difficult situation for some and no big thang for others. in all honesty whether it's fair or not, i blamed the other person for attempting to take advantage of a situation of which he was well aware of...i considered him to be a very, very good friend of mine and intrusted him with some information which included feelings that i was having (which had nothing to do with him). i do realize the role that i played...but hey...what can i say? i do see both sides of the equation.
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Thankz again u have open up some doors so i can see whats
    out their before me .......yes i too have a dear friend and indeed
    the impact of it all has it's notions we share personal feelings
    but we also know theirs a stopping point
    bu in the heat of the moment can ya passion be controled ??
     
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