Black Parenting : How to Motivate Your Kids to Do Homework

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by MsInterpret, Sep 30, 2011.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How to Motivate Your Kids to Do Homework
    (without having a nervous breakdown yourself)

    By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

    Tired of arguing, nagging and struggling with your kids to get them to do homework? Are you discovering that bribing, threatening, and punishing don't yield positive results? If so, this article is for you. Here you will find the 3 laws of homework and 8 homework tips that if implemented in your home with consistency and an open heart, will reduce study time hassles significantly.


    The First Law of Homework: Most children do not like to do homework.
    Kids do not enjoy sitting and studying. At least, not after having spent a long school day comprised mostly of sitting and studying. So give up your desire to have them like it. Focus on getting them to do it.


    The Second Law of Homework: You cannot make anyone do it.
    You can not make your child learn. You cannot make him hold a certain attitude. You cannot make him move his pencil.
    While you can not insist, you can assist. Concentrate on assisting by sending positive invitations. Invite and encourage you child using the ideas that follow.


    The Third Law of Homework: It's their Problem.
    Their pencils have to move. Their brains need to engage. Their bottoms need to be in the chair. It is their report cards that they bring home.
    Too many parents see homework as the parent's problem. So they create ultimatums, scream and shout, threaten, bribe, scold, and withhold privileges. Have you noticed that most of these tactics do not work?
    Our responsibility as parents is to provide our children with an opportunity to do homework. Our job is to provide structure, to create the system. The child's job is to use the system.


    Tip # One
    Eliminate the word homework from your vocabulary. Replace it with the word study. Have a study time instead of a homework time. Have a study table instead of a homework table. This word change alone will go a long way towards eliminating the problem of your child saying, "I don't have any homework." Study time is about studying, even if you don't have any homework. It's amazing how much more homework kids have when they have to study regardless of whether they have homework or not.


    Tip # Two
    Establish a study routine. This needs to be the same time every day. Let your children have some input on when study time occurs. Once the time is set, stick to that schedule. Kids thrive on structure even as they protest. It may take several weeks for the routine to become a habit. Persist. By having a regular study time you are demonstrating that you value education.

    Tip # Three.
    Keep the routine predictable and simple. One possibility includes a five minute warning that study time is approaching, bringing their current activity to an end, clearing the study table, emptying their back pack of books and supplies, then beginning.

    Tip # Four
    Allow children to make choices about homework and related issues. They could choose to do study time before or after dinner. They could do it immediately after they get home or wake up early in the morning to do it. Invite them to choose the kitchen table or a spot in their own room. One choice children do not have is whether or not to study.


    Tip # Five
    Help without over-functioning. Only help if your child asks for it. Do not do problems or assignments for children.
    When your child says, "I can't do it, " suggest they act as if they can. Tell them to pretend like they know and see what happens. Then leave the immediate area and let them see if they can handle it from there. If they keep telling you they don't know how and you decide to offer help, concentrate on asking than on telling.
    Ask:
    "What do you get?"
    "What parts do you understand?"
    "Can you give me an example?"
    "What do you think the answer is?"
    "How could you find out?"

    Tip # Six
    If you want a behavior you have to teach a behavior. Disorganization is a problem for many school age children. If you want them to be organized you have to invest the time to help them learn an organizational system. Your job is to teach them the system. Their job is to use it. Yes, check occasionally to see if the system is being used. Check more often at first. Provide direction and correction where necessary.
    If your child needs help with time management, teach them time management skills. Help them learn what it means to prioritize by the importance and due date of each task. Teach them to create an agenda each time they sit down to study. Help them experience the value of getting the important things done first.


    Tip # Seven
    Replace monetary and external rewards with encouraging verbal responses. End the practice of paying for grades and going on a special trip for ice cream. This style of bribery has only short term gains and does little to encourage children to develop a lifetime love of learning.
    Instead make positive verbal comments that concentrate on describing the behavior you wish to encourage.
    "You followed the directions exactly and finished in 15 minutes."
    "I notice you stayed up late last night working on your term paper. It probably wasn't easy saving that much to the end, but your efforts got it done."
    "All your letters are right between the lines. I'll bet your teacher won't have any trouble reading this."
    "I see you got the study table all organized and ready to go early. Looks like initiative and responsibility hooked together to me."


    Tip # Eight
    Use study time to get some of your own responsibilities handled. Do the dishes, fold laundry, or write thank you notes. Keep the TV off! If you engage in fun or noisy activities during that time children will naturally be distracted. Study time is a family commitment. If you won't commit to it, don't expect that you children will.
    Special Note: tonight when your child is studying, begin on your homework assignment, which follows. Reread this article. Decide which parts of it you want to implement. Determine when you will begin. Put it in writing. Then congratulate yourself for getting your homework done.

    READ MORE: http://www.newsforparents.org/expert_motivate_kids_homework.html
     
  2. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    I think $$ would work the best,if some one had have paid me per A or B,I probably would have been a better student. beasides that is how the real world works,you get paid based on your performance.
     
  3. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    peace

    - what i did was buy my son one of those laptops for kids when he was 4 and it had all types of great learning games on it, especially math. He had to use it for an hour every night and print out his results of the tests at the end of each game before he could watch one of his favorite movies before going to bed.

    So if we give them 'homework' so to speak before they even know it's homework, when they go to school and start recieving it the transition won't be so drastic.....
     
  4. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm not going to pay my child for doing something that is expected of her....what kinda....smh
     
  5. Chevron Dove

    Chevron Dove Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah, the money thing doesn't work well especially if you are poor and cannot keep up this kind of reward system. It backfired on me but, I do believe that children should have some kind of reward coming from their parents when they do well and achieve in their school work. I think it helps tremendously and inspires them to want to succeed even more. Because the school teachers and schools do reward in certain ways, and because many Black kids are not going to be in the line to receive certain benefits and are usually passed over and have to witness other kids getting all kinds of recognition, I believe Black parents have to do something to help their students know how much they are appreciated for academic excellence so that they can keep striving to get the most out of the educational system that they can and be in the running to be able to compete for the highest seats in this world of education. In my opinion, there is a certain normal expectancy when it comes to competitiveness in this world for education and jobs and etc. and we have to do something to help our youth reach that high level, those who can and have thatkind of talent. Not everyone wants to reach that high level but in order to bring it out of a child that might have that capability to understand and be ina high level learning environment, it has to be brought out and therefore, they have to NOT be afraid to compete on an educational level. Therefore I believe that a simple reward basis might stimulate and peak that kind of interest that some student possess and if they don't get that chance, then when they get older they might become frustrated when they see other kids getting all of that recognition and etc. and then they might quit altogether.

    Other than money as a reward, there are many other ways to reward kids for doing good in learning such as playing games. I love some of the tips in the article especially that of defining the home area where kids do their homework as 'a study area'. That is what I did. I put up a poster with big letters and called the work area, 'a study zone' and to this day, one of my sons has this sign in his dorm for the third year! I put up the sign and lots of neat pictures from the national geographic magazines from the thrift store of african scenes, safari scenes with animals like lions, elephants and etc. and he took them all down and put them up in his dorm! My other student took my other tactic and he likes to post up certain graded papers from school in which he got A's and good marks and he uses this as an incentive to keep striving for excellence. One game my kids loved to play no matter how tired they got was those 'brainiac' card games [brain quest] and what i did was got out my pennies and gave them reward points on a system I set up. They just loved it!

    And another way to get kids interested in learning is to read to them on a consistent basis. there are alot of children book series out there today and my kids loved to have their sit time to hear me read to them while they were eating lunch or dinner or etc. Even the neighborhood kids liked to come over my house during some of my reading sessions. But as I was cruising the net I saw this smart little fellow in a spelling bee contest and he just blew me away! I betcha he's gonna be somebody one day! I wish I could have the smarts to do what he did and some of those other smart kids have done when it comes to understanding words and how they have come together over the course of time. Here it is:

     
  6. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Excellence is it's own reward.. It does not need to be augmented by any external reward system.. And it certainly does not need to be coopted/corrupted by money. Create a culture of excellence in your home and you will never need to motivate your child to do his/her work. You may have to show them how to organize their time.. And how to delay gratification.. And how to juggle competing wants.. But motivation? Never.
     
  7. Gorilla

    Gorilla Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Don't kill their natural curiosity at an early age.
     
  8. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    paying your kids is realistic,in the REAL WORLD they will be compensated for job performance,or for running their own business.
     
  9. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    So do you except "excellence" from your emplyer,o patrons o your business? or do you expect cld hard cash,or a fat check fr your work?
     
  10. Shikamaru

    Shikamaru Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would motivate for science by way of a lab kit.
    I would motivate for mathematics by rote memorization of arithmetic tables.
    I would motivate for English using etymology.
    I would motivate for Social Studies by way of historical treatises.

    You'll have to do things with them initially, but after awhile, it should catch on.

    You have to find that hook that motivates one to learn by fascination and curiosity.
     
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