Black Relationships : HOW TO LOVE A BLACK WOMAN

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by free2b_me, Nov 21, 2008.

  1. free2b_me

    free2b_me Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    bay area
    Ratings:
    +11
    I recently posted a thread about "HOW TO LOVE A BLACK MAN". It's gettin off to a slow start, but I think its just as important as this topic. We all want to be loved and I want the sista's to let the brotha's know what you need. Alot of times, we are afraid to let brotha's know. We expect for them to already be downloaded and press play when it comes to us.. So here is one of many opportunities to share How you wanna be loved.. Again, this is not the COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT. All positive feedback is greatly appreciated.

    Here are some things I got from the book HOW TO LOVE A BLACK WOMAN, so feel free2b you and add to the list..

    Don't CHEAT on her - The quickest way to deflate a woman's trust is by your unfaithfulness. Your love for a Black woman should offer the sincere commitment of your total faithfulness. It is a promise of exclusivity. It means that there are personal treasures like your physical, spiritual, and emotional nakedness that you just dont make available to any othe living soul under any circumstances, because you already pledged them to your mate. It belongs to her because you gave it to her.

    Give her love in her language - It's not all a secret, If you pay attention, Im showing you all the time the ways I love to be loved. Please pay attention! Deep inside, when a black woman loves her man, and it prompts her to think , feel and perform in certain positive ways(etc cooking, cleaning, washing clothes) toward you, then these ways of relating must be the way love works, therefore if my man really loves me, then your ways of relating to me should look EXACTLY like the ways I relate to you.

    Show her off - A surefire way to make the Black woman you love feel absolutely adored and very secure in your delight in her is to go out of your way to show her off! When your public behavior demonstrates just how proud you are to have her on your arm and in you life, you reaffirm the high value you place on her.

    Let her know when you're headed underground - Women can have a very hard time with the secrets men keep. Wven if you're not intentionally trying to keep a secret, your brooding silences, unexplained mood changes a, and eternal"everythings ok" responses can be very frustrating to her. A black woman's natural tendancy to talk things out, discuss and decide usually send men into private thought and silent comtemplation. There is nothing wrong with that as long as the processing of your feelings and reporting back with each other happens.


    Initiate physical affection that does'nt always lead to SEX - If the Black woman you love gets the idea that everytime you display affection by hugging, kissing, holding, tender talk, and gentle caressing you are leading up to having sex, you might become confused and annoyed at how unwelcomed your affection becomes to her. Though she may have a healthy appetite and appreciation for you and for sex, she wants very much to be sure that it is not all that makes her desirable to you. Black women also want to know that outside of sex, that she is already cherished, approved of and delighted in. Sex, is not an expression of her identity. When a man expresses affection and consistently demonstrates that sex is not required, she feels that you truly value her for her.

    Share her LOAD - Everything about loving a black woman is not centered in passionate feelings, romantic gestures, and sensitively speaking each other's language of love. As important as all those may be, your love for her should also express itself in mundane practical, day-to-day affairs of life. There's nothing more intimate or loving than choosing to bear or share some of the responsiblities and obligations that make her days full and her nights weary. Where ever you can, as much as you can, share in or take over some of the demanding tasks on her personal To Do List. Especially those that benefit you as well..

    Ok, now Im interested to see you all add to this list. I invite the brotha's in sharing their many ways of Loving a Black Woman. For the sista's, please add to the list of how you want to be loved, Let these brotha's know:deal:
     
  2. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2006
    Messages:
    39,464
    Likes Received:
    10,421
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Speaker/Teacher/Author
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +12,081
    In the Spirit of Sankofa!




    free2b me,

    Obviously, I would love my Woman with truth, in all things. For me, its the same old song, so thanks for calling it "real talk" though, that has a nice fresh twist about it. I need not go any further, you know my position :) (old truth seeker, lol).

    One last point, truthfulness is simple and easy, its not hard.

     
  3. free2b_me

    free2b_me Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    bay area
    Ratings:
    +11

    CLYDE, TRUTH BE TOLD, WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE FOR THE TRUTH IN EVERY SITUATION, BUT THE VERY ONES THAT WANT THE TRUTH CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.. THIS THREAD THAT I HAVE POSTED IS FROM A BLACK WOMAN PERSPECTIVE. IT IS INFORMATION THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE BROTHA'S. IT IS INTIMATE, IT IS PERSONAL AND A PRIVATE PART OF OUR SELVES. THIS TRUTH THAT WE SHARE, CAN YOU HANDLE IT?? DONT GET ME WRONG, EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT, AND HAS DIFFERENT IDEAS OF HOW THEY WANT TO BE LOVED TOO. THIS MAY NOT BE TRUE FOR ALL BUT FOR MOST, IT IS... AND THAT'S THE TRUTH! "THE SAME OLD SONG" AINT WORKING, WE NEED TO FLIP THE SCRIPT, AND WRITE A NEW SONG MY BROTHA..:hearts4:

    THANXX FOR RESPONDING, MUCH APPRECIATION:flowers:
     
  4. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2006
    Messages:
    39,464
    Likes Received:
    10,421
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Speaker/Teacher/Author
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +12,081
    In the Spirit of Sankofa!





    Got it free2b me, will do, but below is what I was responding to:

    "I invite the brotha's in sharing their many ways of Loving a Black Woman"


    The above quote was noted toward the bottom portion of the initial post you made to the thread. My apologies, if I mis-read it.

    I'm not good at this sort of thing, I just love my woman with truth in all things, that within itself is not very exciting, I'm sorry.

     
  5. free2b_me

    free2b_me Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    bay area
    Ratings:
    +11

    CLYDE, PLS, THERE IS NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE MY FRIEND, YOU DID NOT MISREAD ANYTHING, YOUR POINT IS WELL TAKEN AND RECEIVED. I DO WELCOME ALL YOUR COMMENTARY. (YOUR MANLY PERSPECTIVE:hearts2:) LOL.. BUT EVERYTHING SHOULD BE EXCITING, EVEN THE TRUTH:heart:
     
  6. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,146
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,102
    A man needs to respect the diversities of me. Like we are a diverse people, i am a diverse person.

    One day i may feel sexy, the next day may be a down day, silly one minute, serious the other, creative, laid back, out going, or i just may need some alone time. I can be very complex to understand at times, so he will need lots of patience with a flexible personality. He may need to have some psych 101 experience also. :lol:

    :heart:
     
  7. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2006
    Messages:
    39,464
    Likes Received:
    10,421
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Speaker/Teacher/Author
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +12,081
    In the Spirit of Sankofa!




    PurpleMoons,

    I'm your Man, I have all that!

     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    I'll be back to this and break it down with a add of my own from my view how to love
    a black woman !
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    To love a black woman completely is to love her mind body and soul spiritually /mentally as well physically

    Lovin a black woman is through your communication vale with understanding and intent ear

    know her full values all her needs beyond sexuality

    lovin a black woman is taking part in her daily load knwing her structure
    sharing in what see like and opening her vault is a key to a woman which
    is her heart

    Other things to loving a woman is honesty be truthful and real one lie hurts
    show the deepest respect for her and let her know what she means to you,
    illustrates ways to establish satisfying romantic relationships, while emphasizing the importance of friendship that the relationship has, be her protector and her shoulder
    to lean on

    Caress her thoughts as you both connect mentally , then let's enjoy moments together
    with walks in the park , quiet time alone at home yes never betray her love with
    cheating / lying and falsemenship

    Fun way to love a black woman is small things like making bath water / cooking
    help clean being with her at the store , sometime just because shower her a bit
    but not to a spoiling point .

    I had always thought myself to be a
    fairly honest person, and by society's standards I was. But what society considers honest and what true honesty really is, are two separate things. We've been systematically taught in our culture to make lying a part of our lives. We do it so often that we don't even notice it anymore.
    Honesty is telling "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” Society's definition of the truth telling is to tell the truth ONLY if it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, doesn't cause a conflict, and it makes you look good.

    show her how you care by expressions and confession openly
    see a woman value is inside her vault once she close it , it's over forever she can
    shut it down and close it .
    show tenderness in a sensual playful mood without sexual acts but yet a steamy play time
    let her know she is beautiful in wayz only a woman love and it's not by words but expression

    well i could continue more and go deeper but i'll stop here.......
     
  10. free2b_me

    free2b_me Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    bay area
    Ratings:
    +11

    THANXX PURPLE MOONS FOR SHARING. COMPLEXITY IS CHALLENGING TO ANY MAN. YOU SOUND LIKE ME AT TIMES. I FEEL IF A MAN CAN GET IN THE GROOVE WITH THE COMPLEXITY OF MY NATURE, SHOW LOTS OF PATIENCE, HE HAS ME. :hearts4:
     
Loading...