Black Relationships : How to deal with your partner's *Depression*

WOW!

I am grateful for the many stories shared here....

Thank You all for DO~ing so. If nothing else, I trust it let's others KNOW ...

They are not alone in their experiences. One of the greatest benefits of 'therapy" and 'group work' in particular is that it supports (a term that is escaping me right now)..yet...the gist of it is...the KNOWING that one is not alone in their experiences.
Recovery teaches us that "we are as sick as our secrets". Racism in the lives of Afreekan Descendants IS NOT A SECRET, yet, when we attempt to TALK ABOUT IT....We are told it was somehow OUR FAULT, or that we "should get over it" etc....So...we suppress the thoughts and in so doing...the feelings as well....ANGER...and it is turned against the self.

Ya'll must KNOW...I have much more to say then I can possibly say in writing. On Saturday, I will speak about my OWN bouts of depression, the pathways I took towards healing and the things I have come to know about it. I will also speak to the very real and painful reality of "leaving people where they are" and my learnings of what that's ALL about. You all have touched on some parts of it...i.e. "not getting 'down' with them ...the need to 'protect self'.
People's openness and willingness to talk about such things here I see as acts of altruism. SiS phynxofkmt, each1teach1, Zulile and Brothers lilpea and Ionlyspeaktruth have shared some very personal aspects of their lives....for themselves and the beauty of it all...is that it is for others reading cause they are likely to benefit from it. That's BLACKTASTIC in my book.
I trust that when Sis sweet apple*pie returns, her Spirit will be blessed as well.

Brother James....THANK YOU as well. Often having someone simply acknowledge and validate someones painful experience with the expression of it's impact on them...also...makes a world of difference. The person is no longer carrying that pain alone.



Here's a work I found interesting and may be useful for some to check out:

"...In mainstream society depression and mental illness are still somewhat taboo subjects; in the black community they are topics that are almost completely shrouded in secrecy. As a result, millions of black men are suffering in silence or getting treatment only in the most extreme circumstances-in emergency rooms, homeless shelters, and prisons. The neglect of emotional disorders among men in the black community is nothing less than racial suicide. John Head's explosive work, Standing in the Shadows, addresses what can be done to help those who need it most.

In this groundbreaking book, veteran journalist and award-winning author John Head argues that the problem can be traced back to slavery, when it was believed that blacks were unable to feel inner pain because they had no psyche. This myth has damaged generations of African American men and their families and has created a society that blames black men for being violent and aggressive without considering that depression might be a root cause. The author also explores the roles of the black church, the black family, and the changing nature of black women in American culture as a way to understand how the black community may have unwittingly helped push the emotional disorders of African American men further underground...."
http://www.enotalone.com/article/4744.html

Also remember the three "A's" of Recovery....Awareness, Acceptance, Action
Recovery is a program that "works if you work it".

Hepetu!
M.E.
:hearts2:
 
Depression and Mental illness

I see alot of people here may not be able to distinguish the two. Depression is something that comes and goes for whatever reasons and may not occur very often in a persons life. Mental Illness however is something totally different these illnesses include manic depression and bipolar disorder both come from chemical imbalances in the brain and NEED TO BE TREATED WITH MEDS IN ORDER TO LIVE A FUNCTIONAL, RATIONAL LIFE. As you all may have read my first hand account of experience with this may I also add that my aunt is also bipolar and I have had two other friends with the disorder as well and none of them function well without medication. I am not saying leave your partner who is depressed but if they dont want help and youve done all you can do you need to walk away. You need to do whats best for you and that is to maintain your mental health and sanity, theres no sense in both people going nuts. No sense in continuing to be drained by a person who is a mental liability, believe me I know. I used to get to a point where I physically got sick after or during an argument or episode with my ex.Its counterproductive on your part to hinder your spiritual growth, mental health and over all well bieng for anyone who does not want to help themselves. Its really not worth it, believe me
 
Each1Teach1 said:
Mental Illness however is something totally different these illnesses include manic depression and bipolar disorder both come from chemical imbalances in the brain and NEED TO BE TREATED WITH MEDS IN ORDER TO LIVE A FUNCTIONAL, RATIONAL LIFE.

I hope you get a chance to listen in on Saturday. I think I can shed some light on this for you.
"manic depression" and "bipolar disorder"...ARE THE SAME THING.
"depression" is also classified as a mental illness AND is a result of a "chemical imbalance". While medication may be beneficial for them both, just like ALL "medications" the western way...they do not address the root cause AND lead to side effects.i.e. zombie state!

There are also ALTERNATIVE'S to western medications which can serve the same purpose and for some...they are needed. Diet and exercise are also important factors. Western medications are NOT the only way to support people in livinga "functional, rational life". Besides....what Afreekan can lead a TRULY "functional rational life" while they are Culturally, Spiritually and Physically incarcerated:?::qqb019:

M.E.
:hearts2:
 
I hope you get a chance to listen in on Saturday. I think I can shed some light on this for you.
"manic depression" and "bipolar disorder"...ARE THE SAME THING.
"depression" is also classified as a mental illness AND is a result of a "chemical imbalance". While medication may be beneficial for them both, just like ALL "medications" the western way...they do not address the root cause AND lead to side effects.i.e. zombie state!

There are also ALTERNATIVE'S to western medications which can serve the same purpose and for some...they are needed. Diet and exercise are also important factors. Western medications are NOT the only way to support people in livinga "functional, rational life". Besides....what Afreekan can lead a TRULY "functional rational life" while they are Culturally, Spiritually and Physically incarcerated:?::qqb019:

M.E.
:hearts2:




True that.:welldone: I was getting ready to post that DIET is and has been used as treatment for many disorders. We as AFRIKANS cannot take in certain foods with out them affecting us in many ways. Including Mentally.
 
I see alot of people here may not be able to distinguish the two. Depression is something that comes and goes for whatever reasons and may not occur very often in a persons life. Mental Illness however is something totally different these illnesses include manic depression and bipolar disorder both come from chemical imbalances in the brain and NEED TO BE TREATED WITH MEDS IN ORDER TO LIVE A FUNCTIONAL, RATIONAL LIFE. As you all may have read my first hand account of experience with this may I also add that my aunt is also bipolar and I have had two other friends with the disorder as well and none of them function well without medication. I am not saying leave your partner who is depressed but if they dont want help and youve done all you can do you need to walk away. You need to do whats best for you and that is to maintain your mental health and sanity, theres no sense in both people going nuts. No sense in continuing to be drained by a person who is a mental liability, believe me I know. I used to get to a point where I physically got sick after or during an argument or episode with my ex.Its counterproductive on your part to hinder your spiritual growth, mental health and over all well bieng for anyone who does not want to help themselves. Its really not worth it, believe me

I hope you get a chance to listen in on Saturday. I think I can shed some light on this for you.
"manic depression" and "bipolar disorder"...ARE THE SAME THING.
"depression" is also classified as a mental illness AND is a result of a "chemical imbalance". While medication may be beneficial for them both, just like ALL "medications" the western way...they do not address the root cause AND lead to side effects.i.e. zombie state!

There are also ALTERNATIVE'S to western medications which can serve the same purpose and for some...they are needed. Diet and exercise are also important factors. Western medications are NOT the only way to support people in livinga "functional, rational life". Besides....what Afreekan can lead a TRULY "functional rational life" while they are Culturally, Spiritually and Physically incarcerated:?::qqb019:

M.E.
:hearts2:

Each1teach1 - Sister true is speaking truth :bullseye:

I would not expect a person to remain in a relationship with someone who cannot/willnot understand their illness and it's effects on others, and most of all try to heal.

On the other side, I'm amazed at how quickly americans medicate themselves.. it seems as if almost anything out of a particular behaviour gets labeled and the person drugged to conform - aimed to surpress the symptoms of a much larger personal issue which seldom gets addressed. In the words of member dustyelbow - "oh well"

I do believe medications can be useful, temporarily, but they should be used in conjuction with a long term healing plan that aims to remove the need for them.

Sister true - I hope to be able to catch your programme this week, should my connection allow.

:heart:
Zulile
 

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