Black Women : How Should We Support Black Men?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by river, Jul 29, 2008.

?

Do you support Black men?

  1. Not at all

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Yes, as an abstract theory

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. I only support MY MAN

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. I support Black men who deserve it

    4 vote(s)
    36.4%
  5. I support all Black men

    7 vote(s)
    63.6%
  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hey fambly,

    Many of us know that our brotha need our support. But how should we support them? Should we just give blanket support to all Black men regardless of how they act knowing that the worst of them is a victim of slavery and white racism? If so, does that mean staying in an abusive relationship? Should we only give support to those who prove their worth in some kind of way? If so, what exactly constitutes proof and what do we mean by worth? Worth what and to whom? Should we only support our quote unquote MAN or is it possible to offer support to a number of brothas as we encounter them on a non romantic level?
     
  2. Jazzytude

    Jazzytude Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hmmmmmmmmmmm

    Is this a trick question........LOLOLOLOL!!! Sistah that is a question black men should be answering... because If I know my sistahs...........We been trying to find all kinds of ways to support and we have been supporting Black men for centries.

    So again I think the men need to be answering this question.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i will be a good black man if you will pay my mortgage...
     
  4. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i think that the best "support" our Queens can provide us is to continue to work toward rebuilding our African Family. even if that means that y'all have to demonstrate, again, still, that Massive Strength that keeps you pushing in the face of idiocy.
     
  5. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    excellent question

    Sister River,

    I would like to address your question, it is a very good question!
    My response is neither pro or con, but rather circumstantial.
    What I mean by that is support can come in many ways; and loving someone does not mean allowing them to harm or abuse you. As Iyanla Vanzant so poignantly wrote: "If you are in a relationship that causes you imbalance and anguish, get out. If you are in a relationship that does not support you or lowers your energy, leave it alone.... Our relationships should be sustaining, energizing and growth-supporting. When they are not, our growth is stunted, our energy is depleted and our personality is distorted..." Acts of Faith (Sept 5)

    There are men amongst our race family with severe emotional and behavioral problems, and regardless of the source of that dysfunction it is unfair to ask anyone to sacrifice themselves in support of these men. As Dr. Jewel Pookrum powerfully points out, our circumstances and realities are the result of our consciousness. While the consciousness of our race has been directly affected because we chose to forget many of the intellectual laws and gifts that we divinely taught others, this does not make an arguement for female martyrs.

    With other members of the race family, men who completely reject their Black females I offer no support and would leave them in their mental state of isolation until their minds chose to awaken to a more inclusive reality. In this particular thought I refer to Taye Diggs and his accusations that Black womben were the cause of his failed television show. The reality that he has demonstrated through interviews and other comments is that he deeply rejects Black womben on many levels (and yes this is a form of self-rejection). Is it our duty to continue to support this man's career in any shape, form or fashion? I don't believe so, not when the proceeds of his success only serve to further wound and attack the very womb from which he came from.

    There are so many very good men amongst us, that seem to go unsupported in favor of those more troubled. It's almost as if, the children and men who demonstrate the most competence, determination and loyalty are left to fend for themselves while the defiant and rebellious are given warm hands to hold them time and time again.

    I am in favor of supporting all members of the race family, but to the degree that they are accepting of that support and grateful of that nurturing.
    As Brother Keita so wisely wrote, the first law of the universe is Self-Preservation, therefore no one comes before your own self, one's individual welfare must come first, self - sacrifice is most likely a form of tricknology (unless someone cares to prove otherwise).

    Before I close my remarks, I would like to add that most of us, men and womben alike have moments in our lives where we are not at our best, where we may have fallen down. Does that mean that we ought to put ourselves at risk to rescue another? Probably not.

    There are members of our race family that have extraordinary Gifts of Divinity, and can awaken, heal or save nations. However, for those of us on the path of Rediscovery, it is most sensible to offer our support at a distance that does not threaten our own personal growth and well being.

     
  6. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    the best way black women can help black men is by selection...

    in the animal kingdom they have a term that is called natural selection...this basically means that the biggest,strongest and smartest males are the ones that get to reproduce and live on through their children...their genetic makeup and traits are passed down from generation to generation...

    what i have mostly seen from the black women my entire life is women that stay in dead end relationships because of love(and have children), women chasing money in a relationship(and having children) or women saying f*** it and give up(not having children)...these cycles tend to repeat themselves because learned behavior and genetics are a powerful 1, 2 combination....

    money is cool but more importantly our race needs children raised in loving households and parents that are smart with common sense and life lessons to pass on to the next generation...our genetics are superior simply because we have been around on this planet longer so we have had a longer time to combine our genetic structures, so that is not the goal for what i propose...the goal is for women to display higher standards in selecting a mate...this will make us men step our game up...

    men were put on this earth to plant seeds...and nowadays even the cat at the back of the pack has a good selection of land to choose from...this is not what i believe the Lord intended because that happens no where else in the animal world...

    so in conclusion i just want to say...my beautiful black sisters...stop taking in the scrubs and the projects and the gold diggers,stop digging and get your own, look for men with morals over money...and also, if a man can't make it on his own it's more than likely you will have to carry him like his mother...real men remain self sufficient at least 90% of the time...and that goes well beyond working..

    one love
    khasm
     
  7. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    how should we support...

    make mine payable to...oldiesmanpoorhouse.com thank you very much....blackwomen you've always supported us we would be nothing without you....love always-oldies.
     
  8. Edward Williams

    Edward Williams Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This seems to be a question to females...but if I may...:)

    You support us by helping us. Help us to stay focused on saying and doing constructive things that have a constructive outcome. Help us to do the things that need doing and to say the things that need saying. Help us to think by asking us questions. Help us to become the best persen we can be by offering your assistance in getting us there. Help us by not harming us. By harming us I mean, raisinig your voice, cussing us out, using sex as a bargaining chip, talking about us in a non-constructive manner without the intent and purpose to gain information that will help us to become the best person that we can be. These are the kinds of things that are harmful to us as black (non-white) males and harmful to black (non-white) people in general because the behavior is reciprocated.

    No, you shouldn't even want to be around us if we are not saying and doing things that are constructive and that have a constructive outcome. And you should explain that to us in a calm manner so that we can understand...and understand why it is important...and also explain it in such a manner that it motivates us to do things correctly.

    No, of course not. Any female who is walking the path to become the best person she can possibly be will not put up with that nonsense. And if she is further down that path than most, she will be able to explain to the male in a manner that lets him know, in no uncertain terms, that she is serious about what she is saying about not putting up with that mess, while at the same time maintaining a pleasant demeanor, speaking calmly and exhibiting the body language necessary to also help to keep the male calm but alert.

    No problem there but let the objective be something all black (non-white) people can benefit from. And not just something you can benefit from. In other words the "proof of their worth" shouldn't be their ability to raise enough money to buy you a pack of cigarettes. The "proof of their worth" should be in their will and increasing ability to guarantee that no person is mistreated and also guarantee that the person who needs help the most get the most help. When you find a black (non-white) male that is not walking this path then you support him by giving him the help that he needs to get on that path, if he's not already on it, and walk it.

    The ulimate objective should be to replace the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) with a SYSTEM of justice because if we don't the smartest and most powerful white people, meaning the racists (white supremacists), are gonna mess up anything we try to do that is constructive anyway so we have to get rid of the SYSTEM. I'm talking about doing something that has never been done before. I'm talking about doing something even our ancestors couldn't do. In all of their greatness...they came under attack by the white people who practice racism (white supremacy) and our great ancestors in all of their knowledge and all of their so-called wisdom and all of their ability and spiritual awareness and god-like qualities blinked big-time. That is how we got here from the land that is called Africa.

    I'm talking about you helping us to help you so that us together can be even greater than our ancestors were.

    Can you help us do that?
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister River and Family ... powerful questions, and powerful responses ... :toast:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    as a man i handle my own business and i am not looking for nothing from nobody.
    the best thing a black woman can do is get her own act together. detox. shape up. stand up.
    if a sister would get her own head clear, we would naturally compliment each other.
     
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