Black Relationships : How much should each gender compromise for the sake of unity?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by GOODYMAN, Jan 28, 2003.

  1. GOODYMAN

    GOODYMAN Active Member MEMBER

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    Or is it about unity at all?

    Perhaps its solely about self preservation, wherein we become one dimensional opportunists.

    What say ya'll? While you formulate a response, think about this for just a second..

    Those who attempt to reform the world must first reform themselves. In order to be followed by others in the way to a better world, they must purify their inner worlds of hatred, rancor, and jealousy, and adorn their outer worlds with all kinds of virtues. The utterances of those who are far removed from self-control and self-discipline, who have failed to refine their feelings, may seem attractive and insightful at first, but they will not be able to inspire others - or, if indeed they do, the sentiments they arouse will soon die away.
     
  2. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Personally, I think both women and men are looking for unconditional love but don't know how to give it. In order to experience great love, you have to risk the pain of not having that person one day. That can occur through death or other situations.

    One should not compromise their self-respect or their self-esteem for the sake of a relationship. Love is uplifting. If it isn't, then it is imitation love, lust, obsession or dysfunctional.

    My parents considered our family a team. A team can't win without a plan, a play, a goal...And when one player of the team is hurt or has an off night, the other team members must pick up the slack or lose. And a team has a leader...
     
  3. GOODYMAN

    GOODYMAN Active Member MEMBER

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    So is it then, that we have no idea of what to contribute to a relationship, or what to be in a relationship because we have not refined our own minds?

    I think Thandi has seen me write before about us not being taught how to embrace one another. We have certainly perfected tolerance (well putting up with one another) but do we seek others highest good - or do we embrace that part of others that is advantageous to us?
     
  4. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I also think a problem with relationships is people settle...No one will have everything you want, but you should be happy with that person. Friends first...
     
  5. GOODYMAN

    GOODYMAN Active Member MEMBER

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    Regina your words sound familiar.

    But I do want it all.

    The best of the big three: Communication, Sex, and Financial Security - and I want you to want all three of them equally and with just as much fervor as I do.

    Is there something wrong with that?
     
  6. GOODYMAN

    GOODYMAN Active Member MEMBER

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    Elmo, you've got to be kidding.

    What's partaking in the privilege or marriage if you're living beneath said privilege.

    If someone is willing to sign up for your idea of "virtue in dysfunction" then knock yourself out.

    I am and want to have peace in my home for I desire it in totality.

    Now I will take the breath of life out of a man, but I am not going to fight with a woman - any woman - whether spouse or not.

    Certainly matrimony is not a utopia, but the heart of said she seek the utmost for your lover and do so with harmony at heart.

    I will and can walk with little qualms about it. You can keep your sleeping with the enemy stuff.

    Bobby and Whitney's marriage is bearing NO FRUIT! Zero, zilch, nada. (Not that I look to them anyhow..)
     
  7. GOODYMAN

    GOODYMAN Active Member MEMBER

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    Oh,soyou're banking on one partner..

    ..or the other not forming a wall of resentment, that may be as equally taxing to tear down?

    What of the years lost, my dear Elmo? Can you redeem that time?

    Oh, and no way you're 19. You're just waaay to smart, ya know? :rolleyes:
     
  8. GOODYMAN

    GOODYMAN Active Member MEMBER

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    Elmo, you're too young to be talking about this sort of stuff anyhow. Shouldn't you be in the library getting your study on?
     
  9. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Goodyman..

    I believe that too many people want that "once in a lifetime" fairytale kind of love..which for the most part doesn't exist ..real love is hard work..relationships are hard work and each partner has to give as well as take and make compromises and sacrifices...only those two people involved will know how much they can compromise/sacrifice/give in a relationship to make it work to their satisfaction..and I also think it's a good idea to think rationally before you make requests to a partner concerning their input into the relationship...if you expect it of them, then you also must expect it of yourself, whatever it is...it's a two sided coin, different but the same....

    K
     
  10. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Elmo...

    how did you arrive at the conclusion that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown make a "good couple"?

    talk about your proverbial rocky road...these two paved the way..and what about the effect their dysfunctional relationship has on their little girl....people who love each other don't continually try to wreck each others lives to prove that love...their relationship is not only dysfunctional..their love is....and it's also destructive and shows no sign of recovery unless they change their lifestyle....this is a classic example of what not to do in a relationship...

    K
     
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