Black People : How Much Negative and Unprogressive Dialogue Do You Have ToPut Up With?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by river, Jul 24, 2010.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    As much as you want.

    The di in dialogue stands for two.

    I sometimes speak not so much for the person I am talking to but for those who will read what I am saying.Once we have said all that is needed to say what is the point of continuing to engage in a back and forth. We have to decide when have we come to that point.

    What happens often times is this you say something someone disagrees with but cannot answer intelligently so they come in starting a cat fight. They don't have to win the cat fight. They just have to get you to give energy to it. If you do give it energy then those who are reading and who are intelligent will see the chaos and move on. You may get the last word in and put the person to shame but they will have accomplished their goal which is to keep people from listening to what you have to say.

    Solutions:
    1.Avoid as hominem
    2. Read what you have typed a few times before posting it. If someone said that to you could they expect a positive response? Then why get offended when you don't get one?
    3. Remember you don't know he poster and they don't know you so why take what they said personally.
    4. You don't get banned because smaddy provoked you to break the rules. You get banned because YOU chose to react in a way that broke the rules.

    This has been a public service message brought to you by Da River.
     
  2. Kamau47

    Kamau47 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I understand and on some points, agree with you.
    But there are times in my life when even though I do not wish to get into a physical fight, I will. And once it's over with, I may wish that I had not done so, I will still hold my head high and be proud of myself for doing so. Because right or wrong, I stood up for myself.
    I would be willing to bet that there are some who have been banned, but feel no remorse behind it because they did what they felt was right. Sometimes you have to "throw caution into the wind" as they say. You just react.
    As I have said many times.........it is what it is.
     
  3. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Well, what do you agree with?
     
  4. Kamau47

    Kamau47 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If I'm hearing you correctly, you are saying that we have to at times balance between our actions, and the results from those actions. In other words, "is it worth it?" should be the question we ask ourselves before we act.
    I can agree with that, if that is in fact what you are saying (correct me if I am wrong though). And if I am correct, then that is what I can relate to. Responding in a negative way seldom brings about what we desire. But at the same time, there are times when we don't think things through logically, but just react on logic and emotions. At the same time though, using myself as an example, I don't care about anything else but being heard in a case like that. I really don't care if the outcome is positive or negative, I just want to be heard. But as a man, I also accept the consequences of my actions, good or bad.
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Yes you are correct. Balance is key.Being heard is something most of us want or why would we come here and type stuff nobody is listening to? My purpose is to maximize the probability that we will be heard. I didn't say gaurantee, but maximize. Our emotions can rise up sometimes but that is where we grow. Those who have been banned may not feel remorse but they are not being heard either. In fact, as long as I have been here those who are allowed to come back seldom have a change of heart or behavior. A couple of folks came back with a different name but we knew who they were cause they started in with the same stuff.
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    It's all magnetic .........))))))))))

    I always said stick to the topic !
    Agree to disagree .
    state your view on it and move forward,
    this where we continue to break down, and why is beyond me to say.
    Proving a point is one thing, but beating /attacking and disrespecting
    to do so is where we continue to get caught up at, it kills the thread
    and put one at risk .....
    Who point is now heard really beyond the drama within the thread ! nobody's

    Solution is : If we can get beyond acting like tin /metal that cling to a magnet,
    and be what we are human adults. Banning would be reversed into none existence.
    We have to stop! allowing self to be drawn in magneticly, to issues and disagreements
    that everytime take us from the true topic at hand or guided by someone
    else responses that lead to distruction.

    Someday we will overcome this and realize it, it's my hope as the hills continue to watch from which it came. !!!!!!

    It's not what you do, but how you do it.


     
  7. Kamau47

    Kamau47 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    And I totally agree with both of you river and $$RICH$$. The point I am getting at is that there are times in all of us when everything we know & love is thrown out the window, and we do or say something that could have been handled differently. Be it here, or in the streets, at work, play or someplace else. That is why we are human, we can and do make mistakes of judgement. Just like at work friday. I stepped in the middle of a disagreement between a worker and the supervisor (I am the union steward). It had become heated quickly, and was on the verge of meltdown between the two, over something simple. The culprit was not the issue they were arguing about, but the heat we have been enduring in my area for the past few days. The heat index was between 94 & 102 for 3 days, and that has a tendency to bring out the worst in people.
    What I'm saying is that I'm not condoning or condemning the actions of my brothers and sisters who respond in the ways they did that led to their banning. That is not why I am here. I just know that in my life, I have also acted & reacted in the same manner.
     
  8. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I hear you Kamau. And I am not passing judgment on those who have been banned.
     
  9. Kamau47

    Kamau47 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've watched your posts & threads............so I know you're not.
    Much luv your way.
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    We just need to think before we act a little better is what i'm saying here.
     
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