Black Women : How many would give up love just to satisfy your children?

nevar

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Jun 19, 2005
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I'm a Georgia Peach!!!!
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I must say that bringing a man into your life when the kids aren't his are tough. Men dating ready made family is common now. I find that kids now don't like the boyfriend/husband you choose, and causes frictions in the home. It is a constant battle to try to keep the peace. I'm sure alot of us can relate to being in a step-family situation. As a kid it is hard to follow or listen to someone who is not your biological. Kids have even driven their mother's friends away to keep them all to themselves while they have their happiness. Is it selfish of us to want our parents to remain lonely while we have relationships. Can the children give up on love when we mothers' feel they can do better than who their with? I find myself asking these questions because choas is part of your life. The kids refuse to respect him, and the hardest part is trying to bring everyone together. So ladies would you give up dating or sharing yourself if your kids don't want you to love nobody else. Or would you wait until your kids were grown until you decided to date. Time is short for me, and everyone wants to have companionship, friendship, and so forth. Tell me your thoughts on this.......
 
Sister Nevar ... great topic and thread ... thanks for starting it.

This is a topic i have STRONG opinion on, that will probably be considered too extreme for most.

I am of the opinion that once you have children, you simultaneously relinquish many of your wants.

A parent has a higher responsibility now, to things outside their own selves, their children.

Women need to be VERY VERY VERY CAREFUL ... CAUTIOUS ... bringing men around their children.

While men should not do this either, it's often women more likely to be the primary caregiver.

Becoming a parent changes the dynamics of a life, completely, and there's no room whining about ... what about me, what about my life, what about my personal relationships, interactions, wants, desires, etc. ... too bad, so sad ... let it go.

You owe your children the safest, most peaceful environment you can provide ... and bringing men into their lives, their homes, their personal spaces ... just because you've found someone to penetrate you regularly ... is not fair to them.

Go to dude's house. Make him pay for a hotel. Make him prove he's worth meeting your children.

The break up of relationships are often very hard, emotionally devastating to adults, but we not only take this on for ourselves, but we put our children in the middle of it too ... to face these challenges with absolutely no tools to deal with them. Even grown women can't deal well with breakups, so we can guess how the children will fare.

No ... wait until your children are grown ... or make the man take you somewhere the children can't see ... can't even know he exists in your world.

I know it's hard to do ... but it can be done ... i'm a witness.

Love You and thanks again for posting a topic close to my heart!

:heart:

Destee
 
There was a time when Single Mothers only had to worry about their daughters, whether the new man in their life would cross the line, and violate their daughters in some sexual manner, given the opportunity ... but those days are gone ... now you have to worry about them violating your sons too.

It's a dangerous game to play, bringing men around your babies.

The damage can be so great, that the children never recover from it.

Be careful Single Mothers ... make the man take you somewhere else.

Let your babies have their home. the peace in it, the level of comfort, that comes when strange men aren't present.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
 
Women are the Means to Create a Nation....

Guard yourselves ESPECIALLY when there is not a Man to Aid and Assist in this DIVINE duty... You women are strong and Blessed...

Influence is Influence and once its made the damage is done..

As a Man.. Be careful about who you bring around your kids....

Peace.. Peace..
 
Sister Nevar ... great topic and thread ... thanks for starting it.

This is a topic i have STRONG opinion on, that will probably be considered too extreme for most.

I am of the opinion that once you have children, you simultaneously relinquish many of your wants.

A parent has a higher responsibility now, to things outside their own selves, their children.

Women need to be VERY VERY VERY CAREFUL ... CAUTIOUS ... bringing men around their children.

While men should not do this either, it's often women more likely to be the primary caregiver.

Becoming a parent changes the dynamics of a life, completely, and there's no room whining about ... what about me, what about my life, what about my personal relationships, interactions, wants, desires, etc. ... too bad, so sad ... let it go.

You owe your children the safest, most peaceful environment you can provide ... and bringing men into their lives, their homes, their personal spaces ... just because you've found someone to penetrate you regularly ... is not fair to them.

Go to dude's house. Make him pay for a hotel. Make him prove he's worth meeting your children.

The break up of relationships are often very hard, emotionally devastating to adults, but we not only take this on for ourselves, but we put our children in the middle of it too ... to face these challenges with absolutely no tools to deal with them. Even grown women can't deal well with breakups, so we can guess how the children will fare.

No ... wait until your children are grown ... or make the man take you somewhere the children can't see ... can't even know he exists in your world.

I know it's hard to do ... but it can be done ... i'm a witness.

Love You and thanks again for posting a topic close to my heart!

:heart:

Destee

Man! Sister Destee! You really put it down!
 

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