Black Relationships : How long is long enough?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Realguyjeff, Jun 2, 2004.

  1. Realguyjeff

    Realguyjeff Active Member MEMBER

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    Recently an amazing woman has come into my life. Everyday is an adventure I don’t want to end. So naturally I’m thinking about marriage. The only thing is that there seems to be time tables and numbers attached to everything, even relationships. People often say don’t kiss on the first date. Yet the third date is fine? So now I’m wondering how much sense that really makes with decisions. If you’re in love and you know you’re in love should you wait, just to wait or should you go for it? How much time with a person is enough time with a person before you can ask them to be with you for the rest of your life?
     
  2. zedlove

    zedlove New Member MEMBER

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    what does your heart say? thats usually the right answer.
     
  3. qt4580

    qt4580 New Member MEMBER

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    Time Is Irrelevant

    Where you say the only thing is that there seems to be time tables and numbers attached to everything, I agree, but how far will you let it go? Someone once told me that our time is not God's time. So I believe that people come into our lives whenever they do because things will happen as they should. God will tell your heart if the time should not matter to you, because let's be serious here, past being grown, what other aspect of any relationship is of any importance.........YOUR FEELINGS! If God has ordained your relationship for marriage, you will know because you will feel it, if you trust God and believe things will work according to His time table. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying go out and marry the first woman you see, I'm just encouraging you to not look at your relationship as a calendar. Just think about it. Do you think you could meet your soul mate as a child? Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think highschool sweethearts can make through marriage? If you can answer these questions, you will find that the time you have known this woman really doesn't matter, if you love her, and can't see the rest of your life without her! :star:






     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    when emotions and feelings strike the heart it's up to the two souls
    and what they feel every relationship pose it's own venture
    it's really up to the two in the relationship cause too long can end
    or cripple what one has or too soon can bring doubts and confussion
    to the hope of loving a long time but it also can be the right moment
    it's what the heart feel and the true emotions of it that's felt by both
    we have no way of knowing if it's too soon or too long of a wait but go
    on feelings .......who really knows this can't be judge but felt by the two
    souls involved
     
  5. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think the best thing to do if you haven't known this woman that long is to wait. There is no rush to get married. You'll never know a person completely. Me myself, I wouldn't marry any woman if I haven't been with her for 2 years. There are too many things that can happen. Not trying to jinx you because you seem happy, but what's the rush? If the relationship is going that good, then why mess it. Other than that I don't put dates to anything.
     
  6. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Welcome to the real world of love, is the first thing on the list.

    First of all, not much for us to go on, How old is she? (I'm thinking very young because you're very young.) How long is "recently"? Is she headed for some kind of goals? Is she as "ready" for the marriage thing as you are? do you really know what she's about, her good side, her bad side, how much or what kind of baggage is behind her (if any) do she have children (if so) what about the baby daddy? there's much to think about...before the thought of marriage enter the minds of you both.
     
  7. Realguyjeff

    Realguyjeff Active Member MEMBER

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    Those are some interesting questions queentswana. Actually we meet very recently; it's only been months now. We are both in school, so there are definitely goals to be attained. I think the other questions pertain to our position in life right now. We are both at roughly the same place, no kids, ect. Furthermore we don’t have much baggage if any. Besides, some baggage is almost voluntarily carried into future relationships, and honestly it seems to me that when you’re in love you don’t have much time to worry about old bags with nothing in them. I think we both understand that we should wait until we are ready financially. However the question I pose is, if we so happened to be financially stable right this moment, would it be “too soon”, and if so, why?
     
  8. qt4580

    qt4580 New Member MEMBER

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    financially ready?

    For some reason, financial readiness is just not sitting right with me. Who's to say that once ya'll become "financially" ready that you won't possibly all of a sudden not be. Like on that video of that song out by Ruben Studdard where he pretended to be losing everything, do you think she would stay by your side not complaining if you hit a sort of rock bottom? If so, then that should tell you yet agagin that NOTHING ELSE IS IMPORTANT except for your feelings IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS ORDAINED BY GOD! :star:

     
  9. Realguyjeff

    Realguyjeff Active Member MEMBER

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    I can see your point Gt. Gods hand is always the one which matters. However, while I do want my woman to be with me if I hit rock bottom. I wouldn't think she would want to start out on rock bottom. Especially when she knows opportunity is right around the corner if we are just patient enough to wait. Secondly, If she's gone before we are financially stable then did God really ordain it, or did we just feel it? I personally think God did ordain it. I think that's why we have been given vision to see what steps to take, to ensure a good tomorrow.
     
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