Black Relationships : How important is age?

I'm actually torn on this subject - because I guess its different for men then women. When I was young in my early 20's I was in love with a woman that was 39 and there was no problem with the fact that we used to mess around. As a matter of fact - should would have been considered a cougar as they say today.

It seems that there are different rules for women then men no matter how much we try to balance it out for woman and men - women will always been seen as doing something wrong verses men. Now older men who choose a younger woman he will be viewed as a perv - but an older woman who choose to go for a young man will not be seen in the same light. A young woman goes for an older man she's seen as having daddy issue or the assumption is her daddy wasn't there so she's looking for that in an older man.

When we say young woman - if she's under age then there is a serious problem - but once she's grown meaning in her 20's - I think she has a right to choose - what she is attracted to at that STAGE in her life - she seems to be experimenting, learning what she truly wants for herself - which she will do with younger men as well if be her desire.


The man in the situation will be dogged regardless of what - even if she's in her early 20's or late 20's - it doesn't matter and so the feedback you are getting from a lot of men may not be their personal choice - but more of a social choice because of the ramifications that come alone with that.


Peace and Blessings



Ru2religious
 
I'm actually torn on this subject - because I guess its different for men then women. When I was young in my early 20's I was in love with a woman that was 39 and there was no problem with the fact that we used to mess around. As a matter of fact - should would have been considered a cougar as they say today.

It seems that there are different rules for women then men no matter how much we try to balance it out for woman and men - women will always been seen as doing something wrong verses men. Now older men who choose a younger woman he will be viewed as a perv - but an older woman who choose to go for a young man will not be seen in the same light. A young woman goes for an older man she's seen as having daddy issue or the assumption is her daddy wasn't there so she's looking for that in an older man.

When we say young woman - if she's under age then there is a serious problem - but once she's grown meaning in her 20's - I think she has a right to choose - what she is attracted to at that STAGE in her life - she seems to be experimenting, learning what she truly wants for herself - which she will do with younger men as well if be her desire.


The man in the situation will be dogged regardless of what - even if she's in her early 20's or late 20's - it doesn't matter and so the feedback you are getting from a lot of men may not be their personal choice - but more of a social choice because of the ramifications that come alone with that.


Peace and Blessings



Ru2religious

It's not that it's wrong or right...It's where each mind is...

It can be difficult to manage a relationship no matter what age (even close in age) if the both are on two different pages in life.

And with age that can play a huge factor.
 
Hey Ru2religious, wanted to break down to you that I looked extensively looked at various encounters with you and other members here over the years, not on purpose mind you, but the things I look into you either start the thread or are heavily involved. What I saw is stayed flexible, respectful of those who at times didn't respect you, admitted when you were wrong, held your ground when you knew you needed to be rigid (notice I didnt use the word right there), I'm just letting you know it took me a minute to get close to is point, and I notice you talked to flav and Macy gray. We may have crossed paths at some point and not known it. But anyway, for real I've looked at a lot of exchanges on this site and I felt the need to address you directly. Back to the topic of age.

Peace in as they say here
 
And you said you two (the 39 year old woman) messed around, but did you actually have a committed relationship? Where that was your girlfriend and you were her man?

Because I see "cougars" and older men who date younger women they see this as more of a sexual thing and where they can groom this younger person into the boy-toy or what have you for the girl.
 
It's not that it's wrong or right...It's where each mind is...

It can be difficult to manage a relationship no matter what age (even close in age) if the both are on two different pages in life.

And with age that can play a huge factor.

The reason why I'm torn on this is because I have a lot of younger women coming at me constantly. I reject them more so because I'm into older women - always have and probably always will be so in a sense from a male point of view I can't see anything wrong with it (as you said there's no wrong or right) but at the same time - my attitude be like "I'm old enough to be your daddy" so that makes me feel a little weird which is to say torn.

Grant it - most of them think I'm in my 20's and when I tell them my age a lot of them kind of be like 'ewww' lol ... but that coo - I find it funny!

I took so long to respond because I feel that its weird because of the age difference - yet at the same time I've been like that with older women for years. Its like how can I judge a younger woman for what she like when I've always been more attracted to older women. For me to chop down a younger woman for what she's attracted to is - kind of hypocritical.

Nevertheless, I wonder now being that the topic is here - how many possible good matches could have been made had there not be a form of prejudice against age? Now with just me - but with many who find themselves in the situation. Answering her question - I think a lot of older men are scared of the social ramifications that come with it.

idk -


Peace and Blessings




Ru2religious
 

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