After reading and posting on all the threads about what sistas and brothas find attractive and unattractive--what turns them on and off, what difference has it made in your behavior? Do you say so and so doesn't like this so I will change or do you say so and so doesn't like this, so what? In the sista's forum Brotha Sek started a thread about whether women compete with each other. This thread is for both men and women. I think the worst kind of competition is when you compete with someone who doesn't even exist. A fantasy in someone's mind about the perfect partner. This fantasy partner never does, says, wears or eats anything the person doesn't like. How can you compete with someone like that? Of course in any relationship some concessions must be made But you'll never be the man or woman of the person's dreams; though you could be the man or woman of their realities. How far do you go? What's your criteria for deciding when and if you will make concessions or grow in a certain area to be more pleasing to a partner or prospective partner?