Black People : How does one put himself before others?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by ManicRaider, Mar 22, 2013.

  1. ManicRaider

    ManicRaider Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    For awhile now I have been trying to think of a way to help the Black community and try to change the way some people view black people. But I haven't come up with anything that would work. I have been told by others to (here and other places) to just worry about myself. But I can't seem to do it. How exactly do I do it?
     
  2. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hmmm, who's been telling you to do that?

    Anyhow, I know this isn't the advice you asked for, but it seems your attention to others is something natural to who you are; you aren't doing anything wrong by not just thinking on yourself, alone.

    It would seem when you just think on yourself, you should also plan on depending on yourself all the time with no helping hand; but when you think about others, you can depend on the most reliable you've tended to, to be there for you when you really need it!

    Again, not what you asked, but I was just wondering why you would need to change that.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother ManicRaider ... while i can't speak authoritatively to what others have said to you, i can guess ... :look:

    I can imagine myself saying something along those lines, and it would be in the context of self-preservation.

    For example, it will be a great challenge to help someone else not be homeless, if you are homeless.

    It will be difficult to help someone else raise their children successfully, if you weren't able to raise your own successfully.

    If you can't feed yourself, it will be very difficult to feed someone else.

    If you can't avoid the traps and snares laid for Black Men, it will be hard to teach another how to do it.

    In this vein, worrying about yourself first, taking care of yourself first is paramount in helping someone else.

    Within the context of our history in this country / world, if you are bleeding from several different places in your body due to gunshot and knife wounds, it's going to be very hard to help someone else stop bleeding.

    But if you can first take care of yourself, secure your safety and well-being, then you are in a great position to help, encourage, and/or support another. I believe by just doing this, taking care of yourself ... even if you add nothing else to it ... though it seems you have the kind of heart to add more if you are able .. but just doing this, taking care of self in the best possible manner ... can be an example all by itself to other Black People, to do the same. Your doing it can give hope to one or some that may be struggling to just do that. Seeing you can be their evidence that it is possible, that it can be done.

    If i were to say such a thing to you as described in the opening post, it would be in this context.

    Hope this helps.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Corvo

    Corvo navigator of live MEMBER

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    It's not easy to help others. Look on this forum and read how some members take a lot of time to teach us on what is going on. in tern few can see what was being said. I have found that some are ready to see, others will take longer to understand. But it is always better to keep your stuff in better order, for others to see as an example.
     
  5. ManicRaider

    ManicRaider Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the replies Angela and Corvo and thank you most of all Destee. I think I understand what people mean when they say to take care of yourself much more now. In retrospect I guess I do need to boost myself up a bit more before trying to help others. Thanks again.
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother ManicRaider ... you're very welcome.

    Let me say too though, that you don't have to wait to try and help others.

    No matter where you are right now, the chances are great that you can help someone even now.

    For example, let's say you're 25 years old, you're a Black Man that has never been arrested, or you're a Black Man that has a college degree, or you're a Black Man that has his own business. Well, if you meet a young Brother today, that is 15 years old, your life experiences can help him right now, just by sharing how you did it, encouraging him. You might not have reached the greatest levels you desire, but you can still help another on your way to that place.

    Another example ... let's say you've mastered being able to keep yourself in a positive place, your mind, Spirit, thoughts, energies, etc., no matter the circumstances (the trials, tribulations, etc.) and as you pass folk on the street, or in the course of your day ... you give them a heartfelt greeting, a kind word, a how ya doin, a good morning, good evening, etc., ... that too can be a great help to someone who has not mastered keeping their own self in a positive place (in spite of the trials and tribulations). Your kind word, could make all the difference in their life that day / moment, without you ever really knowing it. It could be enough to keep them encouraged and moving forward.

    Here's another ... let's say you have a job as a maintenance man in an apartment complex, lots of young kids around ... young boys ... looking / wishing for something to do. Let's say it's your job to keep the grounds cleaned up as well as more technical matters. You see these little boys out there with nothing but idle time. You could probably offer to pay them a dollar or two a day, if they picked up the trash in a certain area or all around if it wasn't too big of a place. No, you're not where you want to be yet, able to give real jobs to whole grown Black Men, but this act could go a long way in encouraging a young Brother to wanna work. (I happen to know someone that did this, and he said the young boys would be so excited to do the work, happy, on time, waiting for him to show up and give them something to do).

    These are just examples, but there are many many more ways we can help each other ... that don't cost lots of money ... that are important, essential, powerful pieces ... with the ability to have great and positive effects on another's life ... and i just wanna be sure you don't forsake them ... :)

    So ... yes ... you must be able to first secure yourself ... but you don't necessarily have to wait until you've "fully arrived" at some great destination, to be able to try and help another. If everyone did that, just waited, no one would get help ... for generally ... after achieving one goal, we set another, as life is a forever climb until we die. Just do what is within your means, that doesn't leave you penniless, homeless, or worse off than you started (always preserving self).

    You may not be able to feed all the starving babies in the world, but you can problee buy a little boy a dollar burger and some fries, make his day (have him looking up to and remembering you forever), and know inside yourself that he did have something to eat this day.

    Keep up the good work.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Keep on striving, and you'll be better where you need to be, no doubt. :)
     
  8. Shikamaru

    Shikamaru Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    1. Few learn by revelation. Many seem hell bent on learning by experience. Nothing wrong with that, but the latter can be a god awful difficult way to learn :).

    2. I find it best for me to do something myself first before recommending or assisting others.

    3. As I get older, I see the wisdom in not offering assistance or counsel where none was asked of me.

    4. Many people are looking for someone to subsidize their bad or current lifestyle decisions instead of help to make a change.
     
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