Black Relationships : How Do You Turn A Friendship Into A Lovership?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Feb 4, 2006.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Black men and women make the best fiends. But suppose one of them wants more or is thinking about maybe exploring the possibility of taking things to another levvel? There are all kinds of fears stopping us from doing that. We might ask:

    Suppose it doesn't work out. Will that also be the end of our friendship? Suppose he has me pegged as "just a friend" and can't imagine seeing me any other way. Will he think I'm bugging?

    It can be really hard to risk what we've come to value in order to tread unknown waters. But it can be done and has been done.

    How do you do it? What led you to go it? How did you overcome your fears? Was it a disaster? Was the person different as a lover than they were as a friend?

    Talk to me, family.
     
  2. I-khan

    I-khan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Even though I am a youngin,Ill tell you what I think.if one of them wants more,than they should let the other person know in a smooth subtle way. Not to obvious,but not to vague.
     
  3. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    You're never too young (or old) to say yuor piece.

    Lovers without the sex. I've been there. It's a kinda exciting feeling.
     
  4. I-khan

    I-khan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I wouldn't know, most of the ladies around my block find me to be kinda.....crazy. At least I dont see myself that way.
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Brotha,

    The world is much bigger than your block.

    Expand your horizons.
     
  6. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Let it grow naturally.

    I believe that relationships should grow naturally. Just let it happen...don't force it. You should let the other person know how you feel but don't be surprised if she/he doesn't feel the same way. And don't try some test period. If the person isn't feeling the idea, then "acting" like you're together won't solve anything. Trust me, they'll be "acting" while you're actually "doing."

    If they don't feel you, they don't feel you. Back off a bit, work on your feelings and emotions and then begin enjoying the friendship that the two of you once had.

    The same thing goes vice versa.

    :D
     
  7. mchinadoll

    mchinadoll Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have been in this situation before. It was cute actually, because we had a business relationship, but the both of new it was a lot of tension and attraction between us. We ended up tipping around the issue, and acting on our attraction. Needless to say, we found out we were not compatible as companions, but we ended up being great friends. Now, six years later, he is one of my best friends, we talk often, and I know I can go to him when I need too, and he can me to me as well. I think when you act as adults and be upfront and honest, you find that things can go smoothly even if they don't work out on the level you were hoping.
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i have been known to fall on my knees with tears running out my eyes, begging.
     
  9. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I whole heartedly agree.
     
  10. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Money is always on the money when it come to handling honey.

    mchinadoll

    those are wise words. I know there can be tension when a man and woman work closely together and you are right that doesn't mean they were meant to be together. What a blessing to be able to go back to the friendship.

    james


    whatever works for you, daddy.
     
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